Trusting you like this
Feels like sharing one breath;
The drumroll before the kiss.
Your exhale becoming my inhale.
Your forehead on mine.
Our eyelashes grazing each other.

Our proximity is electric and charged,
but innocent and patient.
Only taking what we are given,and
Worshipping every broken piece like the
Promises we made that beautiful day in November.

I know we aren’t together,
But this can’t just be friends.
My heart is a canteen,
carrying the entire ocean.
It’s salty, and the tide is always high.
The waves are where ships go to wreck.
But when you saw it in its entirety, you recognized its depth.

And you called it amazing.
You said you would cherish it always.
I want the lifeguard to reel you in and lock you out,
I do not trust my current, you will be torn out to sea.
But you said you’d always protect me.
And the absurdity of that makes me want to believe you.

The truth is,

        I'll never find someone
        who despises me
        as much as myself

        and I'll never be able
        to let someone love me,
        'cause they said

        "you have to love yourself first,
              before anyone else does"

But what if I'll never do?

Those silly songs;
so sad but true
With lost feelings
of me and you

I played it on
with the tape's side A
Felt like blossoms of dawn
and flowers of May

I flipped the tape
Found side B's empty
The same thing I get
Every time you look at me

"You'll get over this."
You once confided
That's what our love is;
Too one-sided