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  Jul 2018 bless
Ash
Bright Eyes
I know you stare at me while I sleep
Try making me close my eyes by kissing
my eyelids when i awake,
Bright Golden eyes,
Telling me more  when you steal glances at me,
Bright Golden eyes,
To my heart you bring pure surrender
Bright Golden eyes,
Though your lips remind me everytime,
That you love me all the time,
Bright Golden eyes,
Tell me more,
Bright Golden eyes,
Tommorow the sun will rise and I will come back,
I miss you and I love you
Bright dark blue eyes mine
Bright golden eyes yours
Till tomorrow. I love you
Bright Golden eyes I won't take long
  Jul 2018 bless
Ash
Some nights,
Am the fallen star,
with too many wishes
hanging upon it.

Some days,
am the wilted flower,
which has seen too many winters
and too few springs.

Mostly I am the invisible presence
that never quite learnt to show itself.
I have watched too many people
and know too well the bitter scent of pretence in the air.

They will pretend to,
see you,
know you,
love you.

Only for them to,
hurt you,
leave you,
**** you

Life is a party some said
but no one warned me
against uninvited  Guest.
  Jul 2018 bless
Ash
If you can't see
anything beautiful about yourself
get a better mirror
look a little closer
(I see my big blue eyes lol)
but just
stare a little longer
because there is something inside you
that made you keep trying
despite everyone who told you to quit
you built a cast around your broken heart
and signed it yourself
you signed it
"they are wrong"
For only you
will ever know your worth
so stare a little longer
because
"they are wrong"
  Jul 2018 bless
Ash
"You need to be thin"
"You have to dress pretty"
"You are naturally tall"
are all you need
then give me a call"
For
your acceptance into the hall
I watched what I ate
I worked out more
and became the facade
to please them all.
So
Click away Mr
take pictures of this skinny
model facade I put on
Prepare
the runway Mr
so I can flaunt andwalk
pretty,thin and tall
just don't ask me
did you eat today
because I'll say
sure I did
I ate plenty of
undernourishment
with a side of regret
sprinkling of diet pills
for dinner I will eat
instagram photos of food
post a few photos of my
pretty,tall,thin self
and suddenly I won't
be hungry anymore.
So click away Mr
Yes I ate and will eat
today
and still maintain this
facade for them all
It's quite sad that most of us want to maintain an "acceptable lovable image "that the society has put up for us.We are caught up with this dogma that we don't mind the pain,I don't know if I should call it craving attention or a cry for help that our self esteem is taking a dive to the gutter.
  Jul 2018 bless
Ash
How could words that felt like
lava to my inner skin
leukimia to my bones,
Septal Defects to my heart ,
have turned into blows,
after sickening blows?

How is it that I could only
mentally scream for you to shut up
stop this mental and physical abuse
but not actually saying it.

I guess I know why,
I guess I always knew why
I knew it but did you also know why
Tell me you also  know why

Well maybe that's why
I listen to all this sad songs
don't trust this thing between my chest
learned to trust this thoughts in my head.

Your words taught me
bruise me,broke me then modelled me
only to throw me,crush me then model me
Ironically you made me elite and haughty me
You would like me but I don't like me

I blame myself though
Your words were my religion
bitter cruel they made this though
I wish I wasn't talking to a corpse though

Your words were my religion
your blows were my conviction
blood,tears and pain
though I wish they never were my religion
  Jul 2018 bless
Ash
What are you looking at
Depression
Emptiness
Shame
Deceit
Guilt
Close your eyes then there is nothing to see.
Your not alone,we are all ugly
the difference is some wear it and some hide it
no one's perfect,so close your eyes,there is nothing to see.
Only you will ever do you better,don't dwell on past mistakes and struggles fight all the uglies that made you not love yourself,because the best thing we can ever do to yourself is first loving yourself first so that you can give love to someone else.So shut them out fight all the anger uglies,depression uglies,deceit uglies, anxiety uglies etc.
  Jul 2018 bless
Ash
You
You know when you get the whisper of a melody in your head,
Or just that murmur of a song,or poem that you just have to write,
That gut feeling you get that it could be something amazing,
That's exactly  what I feel when am with you,
Euphoria  at it's highest peak.

True this could just be a lust phrase
That will hit hard and leave me seeing stars
True our physical chemistry isn't in question
But lacing fingers in the dark,hot breaths on your neck
Your murmur's "I know its to early but I really really more than like you"say more its like a euphoria drug injection to my heart.

You are like this song in my head,I want to hear more of
The whole song,the whole melody
I want to figure out if this is a song with power
Or one that will fade into history without leaving a mark.
All I know is I want more of this.
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