You could say it's
all in my head,
it doesn't exist,
just a result of
a hope that persists
but,

There's got to be
something better than this..
Were humans and the world
just dropped and born
out of nowhere,
just to be dumped in eternal misery?
And if angels exist, where
do you think they live?
Not in the air or else
we'd be breathing them in constantly.

The afterlife exists
even for disbelievers,
Some call it Heaven,
some call it Hell...
What will it be?
Only dying will tell.

broke
as my heart
as my wallet
as my love life
as my hope
as my family
as my earphones
as my washer machine
as my mind
as my soul.
as your word's meaning when you say
"I love you"

Chasing a dream
Thinking to love
Make hope gleam
Reach for a place above
Trying for better
Watching for hope
Dreaming of happiness
Avoiding a noose tied from rope
Thinking life is bliss
Hoping someone will catch interest in me
Hoping to gather some self-esteem
Each is a fool's errand, clearly
And I follow each one, chasing an empty dream

His eyes,
Foul breath.
His fists
Demonstrated he was more than ******.
No lies
****,
Nothing but them.
This was supposed to be our new sunrise,
We were supposed to start anew.
Make amends, and try hard to move on.
But I can’t forget
His eyes
His foul breath
His fists pounding on my body,
His choking
His scars that he gave me.
He wants to lie to me,
Lie to authorities.
He is not granting me my right to that horrible past.
My survival is being denied.
My revival is only beginning,
But I must repair this heart,
Use two whole rolls of duct tape,
And try to recreate it’s shape.
When he hears the word abuse,
His feet still shift,
His breathing stops for a good second,
Before he continues.
He knows,
He shows,
No remorse.
Nothing that he can fix.
It is his nature,
Which is why he can’t change.
Why he won’t try.
To understand why I cry.
No
Not at all at any time do I plan to forgive,
But I was willing to try to move on,
But that was denied,
A big red stamp,
******* on a contract,
The thing that was supposed to repair us.
He wants to watch the world burn,
**** us.
His fists shall beat him through another day,
Until it comes time,
To watch his façade burn.

acting apart
my teeth chatter,
my blood with a splatter.
please baby,
don't make my heart shatter.

Grandfather, I’d say
Come with me today.
We would see a world anew.
Full of the things we love,
None of what we hate.
We will have cinemas to keep us company.
Video games for the playing.
Lots of world to cover as time merely stops.
We shall feast at grandma’s cooking,
Enjoy a sweet treet,
And meet batman himself.
Grandfather, I’d say,
Its my turn to make you happy today.
He’d smile,
And gently take my hand,
As we run away to a happy place.
He knew no evil,
So we will see a world of fun and games,
And we’ll forget the bad names,
That we fought so hard to avoid.
I would take his hand,
Show him the way
To have a **** good day.
We will be in paradise,
No more need for dreaming,
Not cats due to his discretion,
And lots of root bear and pizza to fill our hearts once more.
He won’t have to deliver any more packages,
Because I chose
To take him with me.