I hate this feeling of dread
knowing that no matter how I prepare myself
I won't be able to stop it

No matter who I surround myself with
I cannot stop the inevitable feeling
that I will feel
When I am away from my family
even for a single day

I can't hide from the feeling
of homesick
and I don't think it will change

Feel great, feel cool, feel nice. Nice people, nice things, nice ice. Ice cream, ice blocks, ice cubes. Cube, pyramid, cone, sphere. Circle, circle of life, what comes around goes around. Ring around the rosey. Tulips, daffodils, daisies, pansies. Scared, frightened, freaked. Surprise, happy, content, friends. Social, shy, outgoing. Going out with friends, going out of town, going to bed. Sleep, cozy, pillows, blankets, nighttime. Stars, moon, owls, darkness. Dark hair, dark chocolate, dark night, Dark Knight. Batman, Superman, Cat-women, Supergirl, Flash. Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Thor. Pepper Potts, Peggy Carter, Jane Foster. Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, William Shakespeare. Elizabeth and Darcy, Romeo and Juliet, Jane and Rochester. Love, tragedy, comedy. Happily ever after, never, future, past, present. Wishes, desires, wants, needs. Thoughts, actions, words, deeds. If, when, now, how. Questions, answers, research. Study, work, write, draw. Art, paint, opinions, facts. Math, history, grammar, science. Religion, faith, beliefs, devotion. Marriage, together, apart. Separate, different, change. Old, new, used. Abandoned, left, alone, useless. Useful, helpful, needed, wanted. A place, person, thing. Adjective, verb, adverb, noun, pronoun, proper noun. Mad Libs.

Running was our thing
My connection to you
Now I have to share with her
She who always is trying to best me
And is ruining the fun
And relaxation
That comes from so many of my favorite things

Reading was our thing
Something I could relate to

Our shared sense of humor
Is now being forced into stupidness
Because I have to share with her

We didn't have much in common
But the few things we did are gone
Because of her

My friends that are closer to my age
I'm gone one time because of a conflict
Now they're not my friends at all

They say I'm a role model
She looks up to me
She doesn't
She just sees it
As a competition

I try to be patient
But I can't
People say we are so similar
But we are nothing alike

She is loud and commanding
She wants attention
And has different sides to her
That no one else sees
Because she is so fake around others

People are disappointed in me
When I dislcude her
But when she does that to others
No one cares
Or is disapojnted in her

Because she isn't supposed to be mature
And I'm supposed to be setting the example

It’s strange.
I want to write elegant poetry
That rhymes
With metaphors
And all the fancy poetic devices

But whenever I start a poem
That I planned on writing
More eloquently
And fancy

It always comes out
Random
Without form
Or anything special

Sometimes I’ll get lucky
And have a few good lines

I used to be annoyed by that
But now
I don’t care
I just want to write my poetry

My roots are in this ***
I have been here my whole life
But because I cannot yet
Control my decisions
I can’t have a say in what I do

So without asking
I am uprooted
To somewhere new
That I will have to adjust and get used to

I will try to go along
And try to make it work
I will try to be excited and open-minded
But there will always be a part of me
That wants to go back
And make the choice myself

I will get used to the change in weather
The bigger ***
And the other flowers
I will go on with my life
Try to make the best of it
And I will try to find a place in my heart
To forgive you.