We sung the anthem of each year
wishing our friends a happy day
commemorating their existence
but deep inside,
we know that this
won't fix the broken
or bring back life to their breaths
because I am now rejecting
every expansion of my chest
and deafening my ears
to not remind me that
I am yet stuck here another day
swooshing like wine in a glass
tossed around
in these vicious cycles.

I remember you
when I bow down to God
and I ask him to bring you back
every time.
I do not forget.