Someday I will make a poem you'll like or understand but that's not today.
Today I'm laying in bed deciding what to do with my life
Tomorrow I'll probably be doing the same thing, and so on,
But today is where I decide what or who I should cut out or be there for this year.

There are times where its impossible to make a decision but sometimes you have no choice and that's where I'm at right now

Nothing feels right for me with you but everything feels wrong without you

I love you in a weird way but I don't care for you the same way

All the same I will never know how to move on or stay

So now I'm stuck in an odd middle phase

Let me begin this with an apology.
An apology for the way I have been acting lately.
I do not know how I've let myself become so selfish,
But you must understand, I'm working on myself,
I just need time to find the me I know I can be.

I've had a re-occurring thought of coming back home, lately.
Just for a week or two,
but every time I try it
Within a hour I'm getting ******* at for words I didn't say
It crumbles my heart

Now don't you forget, I will always remember
You have been there since the very first day
Through the best and the worst,
it has been us against every home we've lived in.
Regardless of the fact that we've been growing apart
I don't want to lose you,
but I just can't find the time to start our YouTube channel.

I'm not blind to the fact, I may lose bits and pieces
of our own personal connection
as we mature,
But you will always be a part of me.

I know I haven't been acting the way some of these words display,
I lost sight of my past, I strayed from our path of fondness, but if you're willing to give it a try,
It's something I'd like to get back.

You are always on my mind,
deep down I know my heart is always crying
Therefore, I hope you might accept my sincerest apology.

And if that is something you are unable to do,
I will understand.
I'm truly sorry.
This is my apology.

I'm sorry.
I did not know.
And I wanted something different.
But that's just
all beside the point now.

Dear you.

In the end,
You didn't care much
Afterall.
Did you?

And here I am.
Still hoping you'll answer.

Here I am.

Until,
There.
I
Go.

I'd waited
here
without you
until
I saw
the rainfall.
I still believe your promise.
Oh that night of long ago...
When you were someone different,
and I was nothing like
myself.

Perhaps,
they still are living.
Those two ones who
belong.

You know I understood you?
But
Did you even
see my name.

I guess it's all one
sided. And we become
only alone.

But,
I still hold that you inside me.
At least there
he
can
Never
Die
Only,
suffocate so slowly.
Crushed by years
and years of
lies...

Tell me,
will we always be
alone?

she slides her slender
white fingers down the
branches of his spine

her eyes melted like
glaciers and lips as soft
as freshly fallen snow

skin lustful, but heart
unforgiving, exhaling
his every intention

she is autumn in his
palms, her trees bare,
the leaves rust fallen

flashing indifference,
thoughts plucked in
shades of violent rose

he still doesn't realize
that beauty has a price

he plucks roses and
wonders why they wither
when he's never learnt
to check their roots.

with thorns between his lips,
he speaks softly about
the way love has eluded
him over the years.

his palms like written verse,
scarred and coarse, petals
falling delicately out of
time from his fingertips.

he sees beauty but he
does not see underneath

he has always been
one to see the flames
but never feel the heat.

under a rock is the only place
that muffles the buzz
bees in a jar
the cycle disturbed
buds stall
hard pods at the end of spring
the season changes. flowers that
should have bloomed
stunted beneath new leaves
empty vessels
trees fruit well
only every few years
preserving and storing away
building colourful shelves
to keep out the chill

You are the sun and the moon
that wrap around my wrists
as you, walk me
to a place of pure happiness
The light that shines through your smile
guides me to safety
You are the beauty in everyday I live
The toes that curl in the dirt will always be ours
The songs we chirp to the birds will carry on
as you walk by
the roads we talk on, always let yourself find me
For you are my light and I am yours
I treasure the gold you have filled in my veins
but we as one are priceless