My heart
Is a happy drunk
A little too open
A little too optimistic
It's over in the corner of the bar
Playing poker
Screaming at the top of it's lungs
I'M ALL IN
When it's never
To this day
Had a winning hand

My heart
Is a sad drunk
A little too lonely
A little too caught up in tears
It's over at the counter
Forcing the bartender to take its keys
Because it would rather not go home
Than go home alone again

My heart
Is a reckless drunk
A little too unbalanced
A little too impaired
It's over by the door
Making everyone nervous
A little too good at scaring people away
A little too far gone

Like you
A little too far gone
Turn your head
Shuffle away and pretend you don't notice
The breakdown of a heart
Too drunk on feelings
To know when to stop

Upon the hill he sat
on his ***** worn-down mat
Until he heard a pat-pat-pat
what was that?

His body, thin and old
Framed against the rain so cold
His wide eyes he rolled
Towards the gates of gold

No longer did the rain
Wash away at his mangled mane
He tossed aside his shame
And boarded the forever train

How are you?
I'm alright I guess...

Where do we begin?
Maybe at the start of this mess.

Are you uncomfortable?
I can't say that I'm not.

Is it your past?
Well it's all I've got.

Do you still get nightmares?
Well I used to...

Will you let them show?
Depends on you...

What do you hope to accomplish?
I don't know... Peace of mind?

Would you have done things differently?
Everyone wants the chance to push "rewind".

Care to elaborate?
Let's just say I would've liked to be braver.

What do you mean?
I should've stood up to my father...

Did he abuse your trust?
He did more than just that...

Rob you of your freedom?
Let's see... His belt, cigarettes and also boiling water out of a vat.

Do you wish him ill?
I wished him dead.

"Wished"?
Yeah...in his bed.

Why "wished"?
Because I wanted that then...

For how long?
Since I was ten.

What about now?
(Maniacal smile) I am now... At peace.

"At peace"?
I have found release.

You have?
Yes... I couldn't resist the urge.

Urge to do what?
To comply with the voice... "Freedom...lies in the purge..."

You left your father?
Yes but not before...

Go on...*
Not before I slit his throat with a smile on my face as I shut the door...

you asked me what love is today, little one.
I smiled and said,
love is your mummy and daddy smiling.
love is how we care for you.
love is the way we kiss.

I wish I could say that love
is always made up of comfort
and warmth
and a cherished feeling
spreading through your veins.
but it's not.
love is the tears stained into your cheeks.
love is the constant feeling of jealousy
because you can't bear anyone taking away
the only person who makes you happy.
love is sadness
love is broken
love is a knife
that twists in your stomach
every time he doesn't reply.

I wish I could say love was easy, little one.
It's not.
But it sure as hell is beautiful.

We're separated by illusions
united by our flaws,
a doubtful optimistic thinking
that the future might be lost.
I'm calling out to god,
please help this lost sheep
deal with his run away thoughts.

I loved you like a brother for so much longer than you ever deserved
Somehow those fourteen years have slipped away from me
And I think that if we're being honest you don't know a thing about me
Let me tell you that there is good reason for this
I hope that someday it hits you out of nowhere like a broken bungie cord
We gave you a home when home was the last place you wanted to be
But I can't escape the fact that all you can do is mock my very existence
Almost like you feel you could take my place so easily if I was gone
Removed somehow from a picture I was painted into years before you
We all know that no monster can wear a mask forever
I've always known this day would come but I thought we had passed all this
Maybe I should've known the day would come a second time
But somehow I always find you on my doorstep without a key
I fear that I will never be rid of you because even when you're gone you find a way
You don't even hear the words that come out of your mouth
It used to be empty apologies every other day
But now its just an offense without an amend I honestly thought you were smarter than this
You make me sick and I'd trade you for the plague just to feel peace
I've never heard someone talk so much with nothing to say and no ears to listen
You once told me that the only reason you would never leave her
Is because you know you would never find someone else who could love you
What a waste of a beautiful girl who will never know any better
Than to sell her heart in fifth grade and never learn how to take it back
People like you are everything that's wrong with the world
I had hoped I would learn something from this at the very least
But maybe all I can take away from this is that some people can't be changed
I never wanted to think like this but this is the change you've made in me
At night I tear you apart in my dreams and I'm so sorry but I wake up with a smile
*~W.C.

Is
Vacation.