Let us freeze
The minutes, hours and years
You and I cannot reverse

Let me take us
Into that space
that occupies
Now and another place

What was it how or
Who was it then
that cut Cheshire cat smiles
on our childish faces.

Ahh! The rabbit
the centrepiece of this snapshot
Majestic like a mantlepiece clock
Your fingers on its fur
My arm on your shoulder
I'm the elder brother
It's right, isn't it, that I'm taller.

Lucky me, the light did  
not betray my eyes
They hide within the shadows
On a faded colour photo.
But it's only the light
That made a contrast
You're glowing;
Me? Oh, never mind.

You and I never played
Hide and seek.
That game was reserved
when Dad's late evening feet
drew close to our door.
He balancing himself
against his stupor
Exhaling intoxicated
Dumb, gibberish in
Deafening slurs.

Take me back dear brother
When I held us.
I, the elder
and you, the survivor.

If all good things must come to an end
Then the nightmare of losing you is forever

Set the alarm
Lock the doors
Lock the windows
Lock the shutters
Find the cricket bat – “put it by your bed”
Say goodnight to mom and dad

Although young, not naïve
I knew every night had the possibility of being my last

A routine that is now muscle memory.

Fear –
You may think
But life –
Normal for me.

Wake up
Turn off the alarm
Unlock the doors
Open the windows
Open the shutters
Put the cricket bat in the cupboard

Never being able to be left alone at home. Unwillingly dragged from store to store.

But – that’s the thing –
People don’t know the real Her,
They know the exquisite scenery, the unforgettable wildlife
They don’t know… But I do.
Because She is my home
Because being in constant fear for my life –
is normal.

Confused –
What do I tell people about Mother when they ask?
The person who raised me, taught me how to be grateful, how to ride a bike,         how to love.
Do I tell them? Will I scare them?

Although hidden beneath the tyranny – I would say –
the bloodshed
the faces of malnourished children left for dead on the side of the road the poverty struck soil the corruption      the greed the hunger the death the separation of class and race

Although a place feared –
Africa.

My Africa –
Whose sunshine you feel ignited in your soul
My Africa –
Whose smile is irresistibly contagious
My Africa –
Whose heart lies in the grassy terrain
The golden dunes of sand
The never-ending mountain tops
My Africa –
Who is the heart of various people
           cultures
   languages
          All who call Her home.
She is –
Where my heart lies even if I am thousands of miles away
Where my mind wanders from day to day.

Her air, instantly calls you
Her smell, instantly smelt
Welcoming you ever so dearly –
      Home.

Like all good mothers,
She is the one who can handle both the tranquil and turmoil,
the love and war.

She is my home. She is who I fear of disappointing.

My Africa –
is beautiful.

I’ve never received a flower
Or even a rose
But I’m a guy
So it’s acceptable I suppose
No kisses
Or sweets
No treats
That signifies ones feelings for me
No token of ones love
But I have gotten
Disappointment
Watered with hate
Planted in betrayal
Fertilized with lies
And maintained by fakes
Roses are Red
But my roses are dead
And crumble beneath my feet

I've been trying to lie I've been telling myself that the pain that I felt at your hand wasn't real
I know that I'm broken the drugs are a joke, just a bandaid on top of a wound that won't heal
I'm cussing at cars as they're passing me by and they're flying, I'm dying, reminds me of you
Nothing of beauty that moves at that speed can be caught, it's for naught, it is just passing through.
But let me reflect, course-correct, recollect who I was before you took the parts that you swiped
Do I wanna be the same me that you see when you see me and think that I'm pro'lly your type?
Whatever it is and whatever it ain't, it's a taint on my memory of what it was
And I am resigned and inclined to define what is left, and what's left is some words and this buzz.