I don't ask your permission
to make a fool of myself,
tell you publicly
what my near, dear ones
have almost no clue

my mental torment,
headache-constant,
imperial and impervious
poetry, pills, therapy,
caring words
don't pay my kind of bills

a man has a job.
Feed you family.
Protect and serve.

do  it well,
there is no acceptable excuse.
none.

was supposed to be easing on down,
slipping under.

come so far, my soul is old.
my tired is w/o definition.
the legs, knotted shoulders,
body aging faster than I can write.
the doctors only give me
if's and unless's,
contingencies in order
to die a little slower

warped, reversal of causality,
the older I get,
the more mouths to feed.
tough, this unexpected situation,
a nine lives time survivor,
do it again?

defraud myself,
living like I can afford
to write,
with courageous reckless abandon,
when earnest is deadly
and Lady Luck gave me the finger.

simply amazing.
eyes, constantly tearing,
nobody notices.

Do not ! Like this poem,
don't.
hate weak,
been strong so long.
this well, just got dregs left,
drudgery ain't potable, or even
worth drinking.

need nothing,
for myself, need nothing.
not one object on this planet
want to posses or be possessed by.

Monday wrestle with strife,
star in my reality show once again.
now, deny reality.

Do not!
Like this poem,
don't.
hate weak,
been strong so long.

my voice is stilled,
it's poverty exposed,
ashamed of every word I ever wrote.

hush me not, for tis true,
write on for an audience of one,
on but one subject,
a life, mine,
yet, still unmastered,
after decades of trying.

poverty exposed,
a life unmasked
for what it is worth,
or not.

By Arcassin Burnham

Mister Mr. Spare me the cheap talk and all
Of the schemes,
I'm not amused by your dilemma of sneaking
Behind scenes,
I'm just waiting for all of these nightmares to
Turn into dreams,
The problems will occur wherever you are by
All means,

I'm glad to be a teacher,
I hate to be learning,
While gravity is holding us down,
Inside we're burning,
So I lock myself in a freezer to prevent being grilled,
Didn't ask to hear about your gossip,
Please save me the grief.
I'm glad to be a teacher,

Mister Mr.

"Amber, you're ugly."
"I know, Mom."
Please stop reminding me.

"Amber, you're fat."
"I know, Dad."
Can't you see I'm trying to be skinny?

"Amber, what is that on your wrist?"
"Nothing, Mom."
You wouldn't care even if I told you the truth.

"Amber, you only hurt yourself to get attention."
"I'm sorry, Dad."
No, I'm not trying to get anyone's attention.

"Amber, you are so pathetic and lazy."
"I know, Mom. I'm sorry."
I'm trying to please you by doing what you want me to.

"Your only here becuase your mother ***** me."
"You have already told me that, Dad."
I'm sorry I'm here.

"Don't call me your mother."
"Yes, Ma'am."
I always knew you hated me, but don't worry, I hate myself too.

"Why are you even here?"
"Becuase of Mother."
I honestly don't know becuase I should be dead.

What am I behind this face
From what cup fills my flesh-ed vase
What wills and guides behind my eyes
The voice grows flowers
Some bloom, some die,
Do I decide or is he who listens I?
Invisible in the garden, the gardener resides

I'm scared to transform myself into a butterfly,
Not because I'll be different
Or that's it's too hard to try,
But rather
I'm worried you'll still be a caterpillar
And I'll be able to fly.

grazing long hours
in a maze

I run

just to chew the fat

from a missing piece

of understanding

that fits

in the

crystal blue room

of your sky.
  
  she opens the door
  night after night

checking to see if someone is there

arrows rapid fire from her belligerent mouth

they stick to anything male

wears her denial like a crown

but the love of her life killed himself when she was 19

she never told my half brother
how his dad died until high school.

it's complicated

stop asking me ******* questions

I don't have all the answers.

all I know is that moment changed everything

You have no idea

neither do I

why black rain puddles
to drown dreams

or how tentacles slither out
from all the cracks that never heal

impact like a meteor

dents so wide
they'll swallow your whole family

and cruel fire will speak
  from the missing pieces
   of love

to teach you how to forgive
or to become another lunatic
driven by rage.

I have smiled at both your faces and earned my right to graze in the meadows of tears and fire,

after this
only
wisdom
will walk with a limp.

Splitting shapes with no hesitation
viciousness slid into silence
I hardly talked for a year.

Silence stood up and looked death in the eyes. Only eternity stared back.

Splitting shapes at night
oak trunks stretched like gymnast legs, her sharp branches clawing a sky necklace of diamonds for Selena to wear.


Forked between love and hate
I felt both of you climb me leaving a plethora of scars to return awards and punishment.

Sharper shapes to split
my solitary seige keeping battalions at bay.

Softly savaged.

Savaged softly in strict walls with no windows.

How did it feel to watch laughter get crushed inside?

I heard the pick axe sweat, arms littered in grey dust, a hole in the wall finally appears small enough for hope to crawl through.


Sharper shapes to split
I left her memory chipped and splintered, my blood dripped
thorns from yesterday.

A rope appeared at the end of her silence.

Gallows awaited, mocking crowds gathered, threw stones, I heard their rough laughter corner me at every angle.

I escaped. Burnt. Sunk. A devilish blade turned through my temples.
Red hot silver left its carving in my psyche.

I lived four years in grey ghost mode bitten in the beast dust of her smiling memory.

How I came out of it nobody knows.

Sharper shapes to split I looked into rooms with no outlets, I heard a voice build up and flood them all.

I walked blindly through streets,
my eyes spray painted every wall with punk graffiti, a restless rebellion full of thrashing lyrics standing up to empty words spitout from heartless machines.

I fell asleep in spikey fields. Yellow weeds grew tall on desolation row.

Sharper shapes to split
a detective pulling his hair out
trying to find out Jack The Rippers true identity.

I faded out. I decided to make sky collages on my camera phone.

Talk to nobody.

Every shade of blue taking in sharper shapes I split apart with
calm vicious silence.

This devilish blade inside nearly took my life.