There was a time when I wanted to fly. There was a time when I wanted to feel as alive as possible. Now I'm just scared. Afraid, of how things can go wrong in one second. One moment you are someone and the other moment someone else. There's no story here. No words or figures. Just me. Just me and you. I don't know why you're here. I don't want to know. But I know you know what I'm talking about. You know the pain. We all do. If you don't, just pretend you're lucky. Because you're not.

Pain is universal for us. We can't possibly imagine a world without pain. We pretend it is something evil and cursed. Something rotten and broken. But it's not. It's the only truth other than death. That's the only thing that will still hold your hand when you're waiting for death to come. It is your most trustworthy friend. The only true friend that let's you be.

Death takes you away. Happiness makes you forget who you really are. But pain. Oh, the pain. How many countless artists and art has been made because of pain ?. Almost all of it. Because pain teaches you about a world that is far and isolated from everything. Where you can be truly you. At your best and worst.

But I don't like pain. It's just not for me. I don't thrive in pain. I give myself up. Some people create when they're in pain. I destroy. You can make art both ways. You just can't choose which one belongs for you. And it's killing the world.

The problem in the world is that we're all afraid. We're all afraid to love and be ourselves. We can blame it on everything else but honestly it's our fault. It's inside us and we weren't taught to respect it, we weren't taught to separate pain from love. For us it's the opposite faces of the same coin. Pain is not absence of love, Nor is love presence of happiness. It's born inside everyone differently. It's like our DNA, different for everybody.





We're not taught about freedom anymore. But rules and laws. We're not taught about how we can be ourselves but how we can be someone else. It's a race and we're all losing. We're all losing because there's no finish line. We're all just running because the first guy began to run and then the next followed him. Now anyone who doesn't run will find himself lonely. There's nobody left standing still. Everybody is busy in running to no where. The world feels small now. The universe feels explored. There are more answers to questions now, but we're still clueless.




There is more love to be had now more than ever. There are so many of us now.

But where is love ?. Where is this magical thing. Where does it hide ?.

When I was little I searched for it in people. When I grew up I searched for it in my heart. And today, with a broken heart I know where it is.

Far and unreachable but somewhere beautiful and warm.


There's no pain as the pain from a broken heart. It swallows every inch of your body, your soul, along with every positive energy in the world. It swallows time itself.

The worst part is, even if you could go back and change things... you wouldn't.

That's not love. That's the pain.

That's the pain telling you that you not only need something but something that was a part of you is missing.

The pain is what keeps the love alive and in a way keeps the world alive.

And We'll be nothing without love.

Not with our skyscrapers and latest technology, addictions and trends.

Have you ever met a man who lost on love ? Who saw his love slowly walk away leaving him alone in the universe.

Do you think he still enjoys good food or music ?

Do you think those things matter anymore ?

Love is magical. Magic does not exist. It only appears in a moment briefly only to disappear.

Leaving you scratching your head because you have no clue what hit you.

Getting hit by a train is better, some would say. It's not even anywhere close in my opinion.

And when you're in that pain. You realise there's no difference between love and pain.

But the difference you make.

It's as much more important to heal the world today than live within ourselves in pain.

It's as much more important to stop running for a moment and see around ourselves. See if somebody needs to be picked up.

And love is the only thing strong enough to make us stop.

But you now what ?.

Pain is the only thing that will make you stay.

if i have to die in fire
then that's all i'll remember
in burning flames seething
fleeing my soul

feeling all that i've conspired
must have taken it's toll

it's her another december
and that's all i remember

now that i have surrendered
a part of my whole



there's so much more
than what it used to be
she
growing wings and
escaping into the sky

i've seen her cage
that endless sea

fallen in my ink
as i paint her a bird
to dream and fly


and if i have to fade
with my desire
for her will to live  

then that's all i'm 'gonna do

i have made myself
into a liar
where i sit

this place that isn't true

so
burn me

when you find me
or i'll come back to life

turn me
into a zombie

it's better than
being alive

the world doesn't want me
and it's alright

tell ghosts to haunt me

i don't want to dream about her
all night.

when no one loves nobody,
there's not someone for everybody
some have a soul, a mind
some have just a rotting body

falling apart in pieces

i've tried to be alive
but i just cannot feel it

it feels as if i do not need it

how pretty it would be
if i could leave all this

far, far behind
never completed.




and nobody dies
everybody would cry
there'll be a sun in the sky
with tears in his eyes

don't ask me to lie
you don't have to ask me why

it's all just a beautiful life.




don't tell me you don't mourn
when you're there on your own

and the world passes you by

in that tale of sorrows
even whispers hunt and pry
there was once a river here
before the thirst made it dry

and i just stood there,

screaming into the hollow
searching it for a reply

but the shadows are all in love
dancing on naked cracked walls
bearing their all,

in a moment that makes me cry

there's so much more to empty
now that i have to leave this place
bleach my face and say good-bye



and nobody dies
everybody would cry
there'll be a sun in the sky
with tears in his eyes

don't ask me to lie
you don't have to ask me why

it's all after all
just a beautiful life.

there's nothing to see
i'm not free

i'm so hollow i cannot speak
there's this nothing to be

i wonder why everything's  
on a repeat  

who left his brain out ?
this virus will eat

there's nothing to gain from this
so why don't you leave me

alone with my words
i need some sleep

stop poking at my mind
with your drugs and your
shine so fine

makes me want to rhyme
on a piece of paper

i'm so glad we're still strangers
or we'll have nothing to speak

there's so much to be said
but no one knows how to read

to believe
too relieved

two seeds
can make a naked
forest breed

teachers don't teach
preacher won't preach

and it doesn't mean anything
because no one knows everything
there's always something
that cannot really sing

just an ugly face
with no voice

there's beauty
and then there's a choice

a noose to fill
you choose your thrill

everything kills
so why are you still

so afraid to die
tell me why

nothing means everything
when you know how to lie

to your brain
and see the magic
through closed eyes

life is tragic
the more you cry

jump off that balcony
to see if you can fly

if you make it
meet me on pluto

wear a tie

don't worry
if you cannot breathe

and there's no reply

i'd be waiting there
for you

where sky's not blue

holding a sign

that reads
nice try but
you're dead too

i spent all my time
being emotional


i spent all my time
being stupid

i never came to know
which love was mine

so alone in my mind
searching for a cupid

reaching for something
i could find and live with

now there are no lines
and nothing rhymes

it's all a blur and i'm so blind
living off of the fumes
of a dream so lucid


if i never wake
it's fine

i don't need you
to remind

never used a gun
i don't need the shine

don't know anyone
but so many promises
to blind

i don't need your sun
whatever is fine

go ahead
you can remove it

annihilate the sky
the voice from my eye
keep the universe muted


it wasn't mine
to begin with


i'd rather stay high
in your world i can't fly
it's so polluted


without wings
i would crash and die

at your place
words are all ink and lies

there's no magic
and you've never asked why

there's so much more
and you refuse it.


i spent all my time
being emotional

i spent all my time
being stupid

i never came to know
which love was mine

so alone in my mind
searching for a cupid

i spent all this time
being so normal

maybe the confusion
was deluded

i spent all my mind
being someone else

that i could never be me
to do ****

i cut myself today
into tiny
pieces of hurt

there's so much to say
but i've sold all my words

sold all my love
and i know what i've done

living inside my flesh
i don't know what i've become

i don't know myself

and i don't want to be inside
someone else

without shiny things
without any wealth

scars smile wide
as i write on myself

colour myself in a different creed

i do not bleed
there's no ink
to breathe

and i cannot leave
this prison made of me

what i cannot be
these walls
touch and see

the window is broken
the door wide open

but i cannot flee
out there
it's all an empty sea

and i'm already so lost
so ready to pay the cost

and leave before
they catch me dreaming

like a fish
who forgot it's alive
and still breathing

i have to stop
or i'll fade before
i can stop reading

between the lines
eating on my mind

walking on acid and wine
staring into the mirror

it's so cold and sharp
and it whispers

to me
about everything that withers
back to winter

and i'm so old with no heart
it's so easy to forget
how the dark still lingers

but the blood's still red
as it flows down a river

and i'm drowning,


laying underneath my bed
with monsters in my head

nobody has ever found me


and i'm still crawling
angry and howling

i don't know why

searching for a way
back to my myself

as the moment dies.

monsters under my bed
monsters in my mind
masters in my head
whispering to me blind

voices that are gone
come back to remind

my heart begs to mourn
afraid of what my eyes will find

the silence begins to roam
and i'm back in rome
on a colossal tide

travelling back and forth
between love and loath

i'd rather have them both
open my scars fresh and wide

in a room so silent
where sound travels
faster than light

here darkness resides
in lust and fright

wandering all night
with stars to hide

photos to like
memories have lied

to all those who have died

since past

when it all began
with plight

of all those who have cried
but died

yet, i want to be there still
wide open
when a lonely heart
begins to beat

begging to be free
but in a delusion
that cold is just
absence of heat

give me a pill to be enlightened
and i'll set fire to every thing

for the chaos is
just a form of silence
some thing's aren't
meant to breed

so, have you been
in a thought so violent
that everything around
starts to bleed

filling the emptiness
with opulence
a forest made up
of lonely seeds

ready to feed, steady and asleep
in this silence
you can taste the essence
of the universe rearing to be free
telling tales
of men and monsters

and of everything that came to be