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The pain of a heartbreak affects us in different ways.
She’ll erase you completely, never speak to you again, and have you questioning whether it truly was you who decided to end things.
But the next girl won’t be able to ease the ache until she drives past your house in different cars that you won’t recognize to see if anybody else is leaving tire marks in your drive.
You won’t be lucky enough to escape without the insane red eyed ex who you term “******” because she just loved you too much when you still couldn’t love at all.

The only tire marks in your yard are from the friends who are tired of trying to bring you back from the corner you’ve crawled into since the intrepid spirit you never could quite tame spiraled through you and blew even the most intact parts of you into places you are too hurt to reach. But her destruction isn’t one sided, she erases you in every word she writes and every tear she cries, hoping that your green eyes and the dimple in the left cheek fade from her memory as the pen fades on the paper.

Red eyes search for a reason in the cold of the night while black ink words spill onto a piece of paper under the candlelight. Our emotions bleed and our madness can be deranged, but it can also be elegantly beautiful.
If I knew what love was,
I'd feel it,
Right?
If I knew what love is,
I'd find it easily...
Right?
If I knew what love is...
Would I still have found you?
Cuz if I knew what love is,
I'd find it in your smile,
Your warm hands and playful laugh.
I'd find it in the way you fix your hair;
In your voice and the way you look at me.
If I knew what love is...
I'd know I found it.
He might be what I've been missing. And I'm scared to feel something old in a new person.
 May 2016 Ava Courtney
Snow
acid
 May 2016 Ava Courtney
Snow
kisses with air blown out like toxic gas from poisonous plants set aflame;
he burns me slowly.
and I take it in,
feeling it like rays of sunshine
beaming softly on my skin.

my mouth tasted of rust,
of blood,
from the acid that washed over my tongue.
kiss me more.
it doesn't hurt, my love, I swear.
(but truth be told, everything hurts,
so with what do I compare?)
Do not stand on my grave and cry
I am not there, i dont sleep
I dont eat
I am a thousands word that blow through the wind
I am a diamond that shine on snow
I am the sunlight that give you light
I am the gentle autumn rain that give you water,
When you awaken in the mornin'g darling hush
I am the swift upon your skin
I am the quiet birds that chant in your head
Do not stand on my grave and cry
Be happy.
In your eyes...
I see the stars
A sapphire sky with twinkling wishes
Always mesmerising

In your eyes...
I see the moon
A beauty of the dark
Always bright and filled with light

In your eyes...
I see gems
A bounty full of treasures
Waiting to be discovered

In your eyes...
I see my dreams
The ones that floods my mind
Every time the clock ticks by

In your eyes...**
I will never stop seeing
That star that I will always wish on
That moon that shines through
That gem that I have found
That dream that I will always want to dive into
You ruined me
Before you,
I handed out kisses like candy
I was detached
Distant
Dispassionate

But you rooted yourself so deep into my heart
That I can't dig you out
And I hear your voice taunting,
"Him? Seriously?"
I see the hair on your neck rise in jealousy
But you don't get to be jealous
Because you left me

But what does matter?
Because I'm still hopelessly in love with all that we were
So if I can't have you
Then I'd rather have nothing at all
Stand up tall
And take control of your life
Put your heart into things
Be jubilant, be bright
Jump and rejoice
Be an inspiration
Rise up and earn your victory
What a great sensation
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