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 Jan 2015 Autumn Whipple
Juneau
party at my place
yet i'm here in my own room
socially awkward

can't stay here too long
silent alone in my room
deep breath, here we go
January 24, 2015
fifty-one
sadness wraps around me
like a warm blanket.
joy evaporates out of my pores,
as I am slowly drenched with sweat.
I did not notice how heavy and thick
my blanket of sadness had gotten,
until depression started smothering me.
I shed my blanket, when like a silent killer
my sadness tried to take my last breath.
I had always thought I'd welcome death,
but I gasped for breath.
I did not know I wanted to really live
till my life was almost taken away by
a thick layer of depression
enveloping me whole.

I
am lighter now,
free.
a gift of life I never wanted
until strangers , who almost suffered the  same death
showed me how to shed my blanket
layer by layer.
sometimes it's helpful to be with those who lived through darkness like our own, I feel less judged when they reach out their hand and walk with me.
 Jan 2015 Autumn Whipple
Charlie
Let's take a minute,
Just You and Me.
Let us talk
Like the friends we used to be.

I don't hold grudges,
I don't point blame.
But it's really got me hurt
'Cause things aren't the same.

I fall and I bleed,
You know I'm human too?
And the scars that you don't spare me
Are the ones that I'd spare you.
 Jan 2015 Autumn Whipple
Charlie
I burnt it all,
Not a single ember stayed ablaze
Much like what you did
To me and you.
Kinda funny, ain't it?

I watched the smoke and
Ashes rise up into
The night until
I couldn't see
Them any longer.
They're not my
Problem anymore.
You're the world's problem
Now.

I made sure every
Scrap was burnt to
Nothing.
After all, you had
No trouble
Doing it to me.

For once,
I had the
Control.

And after it all,
I said the
One thing you
Could never
Say to me.
"Good bye"
I miss you.
Let's just all let go.
Languishing in a car called desire,
reclining into another lustful thought,
drink the poison and do it clean
for in such things are religions made
or a nation crumbled into to dust
I wanted to say you guys wouldn't last
I know that was terrible of me
But I wanted it more than anything
I had this hope, that somehow, somewhere, it would happen
It hasn't been that long
but I don't want it to get any longer
and I know that it probably will
because you're "made for each other"
but what's the fun in being with someone predictable
you're a foreign country to me, and I want to explore
It's hard to hold in your feelings for someone who is easily expressing theirs.... to someone else
It was petty, really
what we had
but it was more than worth it
and you were more than worth it
and now you're totally gone
I came to that realization
when I noticed the flirty stares
and the nonexistent hellos you used to give
were as gone as you
and I don't know what to do
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