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I have lost my mind, I don't know what to do with myself.  do I stand up, do I sit down?  my body wants to go in one direction but my mind has another plan.  I envision that my hour glass is beginning to run out of sand. I'm moving in circles, I can begin to hear the bells chime.  
death has come to collect, will I ever find the time.
 Sep 2016 Ashton Taylor
J
I did something wrong
this day, last fall
The October wind took my breath away
I did something *****
this night, last fall
The autumn leaves swept my confidence away
The flickering memories still disturb my somber sleep from time to time

I did something brave
this spring, 6 months ago
March carved out the pieces I let cement in the cold
I did something bold
this spring, 6 months ago
I got up and left, chains still digging at my ankles


But I left,
I did a lot of things wrong,
I have the scars to prove how hard I held on.
But I left,
I did something right.
 Sep 2016 Ashton Taylor
J
Nausea
 Sep 2016 Ashton Taylor
J
Nausea dances in my veins
Flirting with my stomach acid
He paces making rhythmic motions
In a strong gut once so placid

But he's strong willed and determined
He won't go down without a fight
Insides feel uneasy now
I felt a sense he just wasn't the same tonight


And then I saw you and it made sense
My heart sank into lakes of acid, waves of terror
My veins cut off all paths that lead them there too.
My brain fell straight down like molten memories
My body was not ready to see you.
And I'm nauseous.
 Jul 2016 Ashton Taylor
J
Giving Up
 Jul 2016 Ashton Taylor
J
I'm giving up on myself today
I'm jaded and sleepless and need a break
I'm giving up on my goals today
I'm sorry and hope you can forgive me
I'm giving up on myself today
I'm sick of this fog surrounding me
I'm giving up on everything today
I'm empty and can't fill up again
I'm giving up today,
and will try again tomorrow.
Let’s get old
and grow bored.

Waste our lives
on a story told.

Grinding days
don’t get greased.

Decaying thoughts
and watching screens...

Live vicariously
Through others dreams.

And watch the attention seekers
in corner store magazines.

Let’s go grey
then pass away…

Sitting in
our favorite stains.

Where we lived slow
and talked about the world...

And watched weather change
And thought,

‘This will be interesting.’

Or how that person once cut off your thought
and you went on about it until your final days.

Ruminating isn't so bad
as we laugh at the things that drive us mad.

Leave behind a legacy
and allow our descendants
the pleasure of doing the same
mundane things.

Work a life
unexplored.

The repetition
of “day and nights” chores...

I forgot to mention
the feelings of love in our lives…

But that’s just fleeting
when everyone dies.
 Jul 2016 Ashton Taylor
JT
I was made to be milk glass—
  Lately, I've been more of
a scattering of light,
  a technicolor oil spill,
effervescent kerosene,
  a phosphene
in a running eye,
  fluorescent aerosol
going cumulonimbus
  in a green sky;
a variegated skin rash
  caused by shining neon bile
all festering and iridescent;
  a tattered road map
on the wall of a food court,
  bearing incandescent roads
twisting like snakes
  eating their own tails;
a human being in the form of a
  kaleidoscopic feedback loop
passed back and forth
  between the mouth and the ear
and the mouth and the ear forevermore,
  burning the tongue, the finger tips
and teetering on the edge
  of glittering, glorious incendium—
After the smoke has cleared,
  I can go back
to sleeping on the shelf.
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