From this point on
we won't speak again
our eyes dancing across one another-
a distant memory

we won't race
our legs grazing one another-
a feeling so far away

from this point on
I am numb

mornings I will spend
tracing the wall
catching each crack beneath my fingertips,
pondering
how the sunbeams seem to flow over each one

and if a tear falls down my cheek
I'll blame it on the dust
because I'm alone
and I'm perfectly *fine

I've been trying
trying  for so long

you've been crying
I've been screaming
why won't you listen to me
I've been like this for hours

now you're leaving
I can't stand
my legs, rooted to the ground
fog casting my eyes
you're gone

I told you no
no, I will help you
no, I will do everything I can
but you didn't listen

searching, grasping for something,
I remember
the minute our eyes met- they warned me
I thought I could make you listen
but now I'm alone- hoping I can be the one
to hear from you

what they don't see:
your hand entwined with mine,
how alive I am by your side

what they don't hear:
your deep voice, telling me
how strong I really am

what they don't realize:
they've been dreaming
of me, alone and lonely

but I'm the opposite
I've got you,
my secret warrior,
supplying me endorphins
loving me- better than they ever can

we're the victors
of this broken land,
secret warrior and I

My shoulders are tense
hands nervous
silence is air- constant and needed

right now
silence is smog
seizing my lungs
demanding on my eyes

my mind, frantic
tells my eyes not to surrender
amongst this deafing silence
people are all around

I must
relax and breathe
wait,
for sound is invetiable - abrubt but equilibrium
it is true- life is about
the smiles and the frowns

she can't hear a sound
forest green
creatures all around
some run, some climb, some sleep
they come and they go

she huddles against a cave
darkness closing in
she remembers what it used to be

camp forest fire
roasting marshmallows
circle of friends,lovers

they left her- stranded
she was too nice
they were able to walk on top of her
she was too indecisive
they asked for her money and they ran
she was too kind
they took her advice and they made it back

now she sits
all alone
night seeps in
she knows she doesn't have too long
*till she's all gone

It's a mystery to you-
how many moments I spend crying,
seconds closing my eyes,
hoping to disappear

when you call  later
your voice is vivid against the black shadows
of my thoughts

you're a nice friend
asking me how I am.
"I'm fine, I'm always fine"
I say

It's a mystery to you-
how many days I go without company,
hours spent listing my flaws

when you visit later
I'm shocked; You're brighter than I thought

you're a nice friend,
asking me how I am.
"I'm fine, I'm always fine"
I say

and if I see you analyze me
I put on a smile-
*I'm okay, don't you see