i am drowning in a pool of smoke,
trying to forget about you.
neon lights and street signs
all blend together and i hope,
i can drive fast enough to
get away from thoughts
that chase me down the pavement.
my lungs are filled with bitter breath
and i breathe out toxins wrought
with the idea of you
and i.

you are a cancer,
growing in my bones.
killing me slowly
from the inside out.
an evolutionary mistake
wrought with good intentions.

i am a virus,
moving from
one body to another.
killing each more efficiently
than the last.

we are a tragedy, my dear,
not because of what we are,
but because of what
we could have been.

the kind of love i give
will haunt you like a ghost.
it is always there for you
but is oft frightening and faint.
vehement skeptics and
fanatic believers are many.
the kind of love that i give
offers a bitter
and a sweet
end.

each broken bone will build my empire
and each scar will build my throne.
though crashing waves and
gusting winds try
to shake my stance i stand
as tall as a tower built to honor
the gods.
for i am not a god but a goddess
and i will level all of their towers
and break all of their shrines
to rebuild mine.

i was full
of life, of love, of hope
i filled you up
and you filled me
but by the end, i was drained
nothing but a black hole remained
you had ruined me,
and ****** the out the love i had given to you
and taken it for your own.

we both saw the same thing in the world
there was nothing,
no rhyme or reason to anything;
no certainty and assurance
of a tomorrow or next hour.
but while this made you weep
and wish to die
rather than to live a meaningless existence,
i saw it as a chance
to give meaning to my life
any meaning that i saw fit,
and to make myself happy above all else.
and what made me happy was to leave you
to leave you and all of your self pity and crying
and to make my own life without you there.