I asked my friend what is wrong with me

She answered wisely

Well you are addicted to him
Which is not a bad thing,
But he's not addicted to you

Oh how bad it hurts to hear the truth

Your ignorance choke me until I'm blue
Everything you say is untrue
What am I to you?
How I wish you knew
That I slice myself every night
Because of you

Life is a dream,
a feeling coming from the bottom of my heart,
and me,
the one who swore he had no feelings,
who thought he could hide his emotions,
I’m here now, lying among life and death,
sometimes I forget who I really am and why am I even here.

This place covered with lies,
routines,  fake people, fake friends, fake saviors and fake gods,
sometimes it feels like  it’s impossible even to trust yourself.
But me, still standing there with my soar and shield,
I decided to feel more insecure than I’ve ever been
so I will cross the limit line and beat my fears down.

Life is a dream, a nightmare,
the way you wanted it to be,
and today I choose to find my own path
and leave behind the roads I was told to walk,
life is a dream, my dream,
my own way to feel alive.

You see me sitting here
My eyes cast in the distance,
Head in the shadows
You wave and wait for a reply
I give none
Infact I'm not aware you've entered the room at all
Actually I'm not sure I'm even in the house
On this earth.
My thoughts, in my head
Are twisted
Knotted
Slithering just out of my grasp
Lost forever in a maze
Or a labyrinth.
A place where time speeds up
But movements slow down.
Where there's an hour glass stuck in your mind
Sand dripping
Falling
Down.
Marking the end of your life
The end to the confusion
The misery
The pain
It can all only last so long before it becomes to much
Until you get a break from it all,
Before you're ****** back into this world again.
You better hurry
You only have a few left,
But a few what?
Years?
Months?
Weeks?
Days?
Hours?
Minutes?
The list goes on - but why bother wondering
When you only have a short time left
In the labyrinth.

~              Isn't it strange the words that we say
                         These emotions we have
                   are just masks that we've made

I know the darkness found me.
Right in the very place.
It left me years ago.
Its eyes were pitch.
The clouds were grey.

The shadows fell around me.
I smelled the ripe decay.
I recognized the pain.
I tried to try to run away.

This time i know im older.
Not colder just aware.
Never again dark matter.
Will you steal my mind again.

So listen now you birds of how.
You chirp,chirp,chirp too loud.
You speak your words of better.
The seeds of hate can grow forever.

Then people change to your disease.
Your ****** up idealities.
The darkness suffocates the trees.
This time its not on me.