i'll allow you. it's okay.
i got used to this anyways, so...
you didn't destroy me, you know,
even though
i still fight with myself and
with the silence i want.
but it is okay.
you can.
don't worry.
i am
elastic.
gum.
rubber.
my heart can stretch as much as you want to pull it
and, surprisingly, dear, it does not break.

it's okay. i allow you to be
the director
the playwright
the scenographer
the light designer
the soundman
the stagehand
the manager
of my life.
and i, the humble and obedient actor
ready for anything
for those few minutes of fame
ideal ******
and claps.

can i also be the audience?
i think it would be a successful comedy.

i want to be moon
be always another every day
and hide whenever i want to
behind clouds
and within eclipses

i want people always to look at me

you know
we always have the moon
it is our guide
i would like to be this
for you
or us
but i would not have the same sad face
like our moon.

july.

the moon
the crescent moon
eight
and
the rain

it's the fifteenth time that
i give up on you
and when i fix myself
and i get back on my feet

but this time i just hope
that i won't betray myself again
that i will resist any temptation
that i will simply and easily erase you

yes i am that harsh
i am erasing you
like you never existed
never

How did you end up
flowing in my veins?
I breathe you
with every second that passes
and I cry with tears
that taste like you.

Pathetic,
right?

I should make myself
a tea
and calm down...
as if this could
heal me...

How can you heal
with an ordinary tea,
a chronic problem?

Doctor,
give me
ten boxes of aspirin.

we
have
to
overcome
the
cold

well yes
i am afraid
i am afraid of the fact that
i am going to lose
this fight
you are like a
chucknorris
and i am like a
littlemermaid
that has not got anymore
any legs
any voice
and yes
i am afraid
i am afraid of the fact that
actually this
is no fight
and you are just in a demonstration parade

but you told me to fight

and we stay like this:
with fright,
cradling What If in our arms,
caressing Maybe's forehead.
confused.
fearful.
not knowing in which direction to go.
tick.
tock.
tick.
tock.
one more hour.
one more day.
they all pass by like that because...
we are waiting.

we are waiting
for a certain day so we can make that step,
the same when
we were waiting
for the school bell to announce the break.
we are waiting
for help,
but we never ask for it.
we are waiting
for another day to pass,
leave it,
maybe
tomorrow it will be okay.
we are waiting
for a sign,
a phone call,
it's not like I could call him to ask him out.
we are waiting
for the rain to stop,
so we won't ruin our hair
/pretty shoes
/coat
/etcetcetc.
we are waiting
for something we don't even know what it is,
because it would not be ok to do this or that.
we are waiting
because the sun did not rise yet and
it is too dark outside.
we are waiting
for ourselves.
we are waiting
without an aim.
maybe
something will happen so
we won't be bound to do things
we are afraid of and things
we are not sure of.
tick.
tock.
tick.
tock.

instead of getting the best out of every little thing that gives us the chance to discover, we stand in line for our own happiness...

you know that saying:
instead of us thinking thoughts,
the thoughts think us...