Reading your last letter,
I sobbed I screamed,
Punched the pillow,
Glanced up at the night sky,
The stars were singing,
You were near,
Tears flowing fast from my eyes,
Great rapids,
You've been gone for some time,
Wounds not healing,
Why are you not here?
Head pounding heart racing,
I was cold I whispered,
The heat kicked on,
Was it you?
Reading your last letter,
12 days before,
The sun in my life burst into broken fragments of little stars.

I place all memory together like a puzzle,
Missing a piece, forever incomplete.


I hate that I look for you wherever I go.

The two voices within me clash loudly like the bang of a drum,
The repeat of booms upon the corners of my mind,
These thoughts once saplings now grown full trees,
I wish for silence,
Only it scares me.

I stare at the little drops of crimson on my knuckles,
the mirror cracked when I looked at it,
I thought to myself, "what has gotten into me?"

Somewhere I sit in the in between,
I long for your touch,
This too has consumed me,
How funny it feels to scream,
I want out of you.
Somewhere over in the in between,
A snake sitting in the wet moss,
Looking at me with cold eyes,
I long for your bite.

I stare up into the black, inky depth of space and stars,
my eyes fix onto the moon,
she's looking back at me.

I am the dizzy little fawn,
I stumble as I walk
I stumble when I talk,
The words try to come out,
But my lips quiver.

I am the big baby,
I need help,
I need cradled,
My eyes they are flooded,
I weep.

I am coming undone.