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Anastasia Rose May 2020
The leaves fall,
So do I,
Maddening.

I feel the heavy weight of the sky above me,
Disappear,
A pebble rolls across the wet road,
The tombstones lay alone and damp from rain.

I call you out,
I seek you somewhere inside of me,
Now I am blue and you are too,
Different to each other.
Laura Palmer,

I descend in the beginning of October,
You'll find me someday,
Somewhere in the wet grass,
I too am cold and mean,

I descend into the end of October,
Happy Halloween.
I've made plans.
Anastasia Rose Apr 2020
I contemplated opening up,
To you or to anyone,
To bear my soul,
For anyone to understand me,
See me! See me!
Understand my condition,
My damage,
The ever twirling mist that surrounds my vision,
Hear me! Hear me!
All I hear is their whine, their cry,

The beckoning howl of those hounds.
Anastasia Rose Apr 2020
.
I fall into that Hell,
With bright fire and burning,
I feel comfortable there,
That heat---my skin covered in sweat,
You there too,
Dancing with me in lust and love,
In that Hell,
You and I.
is this what it means to fall
Anastasia Rose Apr 2020
Yesterday,
Was my birthday,
Belly shakes with giggles,
Mood up and down,
Time continues on,
Golden sunlight brushes skin,
I only wish,
You would have kissed me.
Anastasia Rose Mar 2020
I sit inside the small laundry room,
I close the door,
I imagine this small room,
Is my coffin,
I watch as the dryer turns
           and turns,
                            and turns,
Maddening that noise,
That spin,
Didn't think I'd be back here again.

I watch the spin,
I frown,
Is there any way out?
Or should I put my head in?
Turn on that washer,
And drown.
Anastasia Rose Mar 2020
Those soft waves rushing up to the shore,
They rock back and forth,
That mighty ocean carries so much depth,
I start to lose my breath,
Too calm that sea,
Opposite the storm inside of me,
I take one more breath,
Delicate.
Anastasia Rose Mar 2020
.
I hurt myself tonight,
More than I've ever hurt myself before,
Yet I felt no pain,
No different than when I was,
13 carving "**** me" in the bunk bed frame,
When I was holding out for hope,
Wishing for something more than this,
To find someone to hold me,
Just lay in bed and kiss,
But no one ever listens,
No ones ever here for me,
All love seems to fade,
I still inflict these wounds on wrists,
Carved with razor blades.
im in need of someone tonight. yet im alone. wandering the deep dark corners of my mind.
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