The leaves fall,
So do I,
Maddening.

I feel the heavy weight of the sky above me,
Disappear,
A pebble rolls across the wet road,
The tombstones lay alone and damp from rain.

I call you out,
I seek you somewhere inside of me,
Now I am blue and you are too,
Different to each other,
Not calmer,
Laura Palmer.

I descend in the beginning of October,
You'll find me someday,
Somewhere in the wet grass,
I too am cold and mean,

I descend into the end of October,
Forget me Halloween.

I contemplated opening up,
To you or to anyone,
To bear my soul,
For anyone to understand me,
See me! See me!
Understand my condition,
My damage,
The ever twirling mist that surrounds my vision,
Hear me! Hear me!
All I hear is their whine, their cry,

The beckoning howl of those hounds.

I fall into that Hell,
With bright fire and burning,
I feel comfortable there,
That heat---my skin covered in sweat,
You there too,
Dancing with me in lust and love,
In that Hell,
You and I.

Yesterday,
Was my birthday,
Belly shakes with giggles,
Mood up and down,
Time continues on,
Golden sunlight brushes skin,
I only wish,
You would have kissed me.

I sit inside the small laundry room,
I close the door,
I imagine this small room,
Is my coffin,
I watch as the dryer turns
           and turns,
                            and turns,
Maddening that noise,
That spin,
Didn't think I'd be back here again.

I watch the spin,
I frown,
Is there any way out?
Or should I put my head in?
Turn on that washer,
And drown.

Those soft waves rushing up to the shore,
They rock back and forth,
That mighty ocean carries so much depth,
I start to lose my breath,
Too calm that sea,
Opposite the storm inside of me,
I take one more breath,
Delicate.

I sit inside my head,
Alone
Alone
Alone again,
No one to comfort,
No one to care,
No one to hold me,
Or play with my hair,
No one to listen,
No one to see,
That there is a darkness eating away at me.