The conversation
takes an crushy turn - so my
brain starts making quips.

My experience is
that my amorous impulses
are unreliable.

With my friends, my flawed,
carnivalesque attempts
at romance are legend.

Unless I'm starved
for embarrassment's grief
which I seldom am.

I will dodge, slither,
obfuscate and stall attempts
at intimacy.

What if I’m the
Kind of girl that guys can’t
just fall in love with?

It’s in quiet
moments of thought that we create
our identities.

In 7th grade we took
some personality tests
- they were intriguing.

I’m a hustler
- the very opposite of a
procrastinator.

I take on future
projects early, impatient
to sandpaper issues.

It’s calming to
know why I stress - it helps me
navigate my fears.

While my friends are panicked
that SAT testing time is here
- I took them last year.

It’s easier
to submit to the lash if
we know what drives it.

I dread those moments
when infatuation begins
to be commitment.

When a wanting to
be together turns into
an obligation.

whoa, I can’t be
“your”  girl - I’m not looking
to belong to you.

What commands my heart
- who knows? But it can't be
kept - pressed like a rose.

Is a girl ******
if she won’t commit to
a relationship?

I’ve disappointed heaven
and I can tell you why -
I angered a silver angel
who came down from the sky.

She said, “I'm just a messenger
sent to share the word.”

I stood stone-still and waited
and this is what I heard:

“The coming Judgement will fulfil
- the rightful verdict of the Lord.”

“OK…” I answered, shyly -
in an effort to prompt for more.

But the seraphim started fading away
as if the message finished her chore..

I said, “Wait! I need a message I understand
- you have to give me more.”

The angel's face turned angry
and her tone became unkind -
she flipped her hair like a mean
girl and muttered “NEVERMIND”.

So if you’re messaged by an angel,
I hope you fare better than me
- I couldn’t decipher the message
- and she flew off angrily.

Ex lovebirds of
the tamest passion can turn
so predatory.

Passive aggressive
schoolboys who mock whistle at
ex-girlfriends for spite.

Who scatter book bag
contents in mock accidents
for supposed revenge.

As witchcraft conjured
by the nonbelligerent
to silence the bully

I summon some sweet,
musical, lascivious
words as orphic spells

In self-effacing
defense to tame the awful
beast with ***** magic.

force, punish, burden,
insistent coercion, and threat,
compulsion, tension.

Stressful stranglehold,
urge, force per unit area,
fuss, influence, duress.