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Ana S Jan 2018
Everything is dark here.
This is my mind.

Everything is dark here.
These are the lies.
The lies you say...
Just to get through another day.

A bird with a broken wing,
Unable to fly.

I'm the dark of the night,
Constantly trying to hide.
Hide away from all the memories.
Hide away from all the past.

Hide away from the people who roam the crowded halls.
In the halls I feel unseen.

Roaming like a ghost.
A piece of furniture out of place.
I don't match the rest of the decor.

But it's okay.
Ana S Dec 2017
Food is a common topic...

She doesn't feel loved,
She doesn't see light,

Her tears stain her cheeks every night,
crying into her pillow barely alive,

The hate allowed her disorder to strive.
The silence screaming down the halls,

Regret is the only word that calls,
they call her skinny,

she is beyond mini,
turning to dust,

starving herself felt like a must,
they call you bones,

You cant let the pain show,
hiding behind the glass,

kids stare in class,
you are nothing they say,

running home each day,
simply to avoid the rocks they throw,

never let the pain show,
starve yourself to feel alight,

everything is hidden with no light,
in the dark you sit,

only there do you realize life is ******* ****
so darling take my advise,

the demons aren't real,
darling just eat a meal.
Ana S Nov 2017
That girl sitting there
Such a beautiful tradgedy
Her body a grave
Her mind a travesty
The memories that scream from the deep
The nights she stays awake when she should be asleep
A fine example of anorexia at its finest
Anorexia, thin and spineless
A ghost pushing on
No one questions what went wrong
A disaster barely alive
Her eating disorder began to strive
Pained by her surroundings
Few could see her drowning
Trying to stay afloat each day
Few questioned if she was okay
She was very much alone
'Til the day she was simply bones.
Ana S Jun 2017
Human beings... we have a flaw.
Can't you see?
Wait no, you can't see.
Only the others can see.
Humans flaw is we strive to achieve others visions.
It starts when we are young.
Mom wants you to graduate school with good grades.
You go out graduate school with c average or higher.
God forbid you drop out.
Through out school you dress to satisfy the eyes of others.
You act as a member of society.
Do what is seen as normal.
Once my therapist educated me on social norms.
Who is one to decide these social norms though?
Who decides what is acceptable and what is not?
Ana S May 2017
Why is it we speak language. One uniformed form of speech. It's acceptable in society that's why.
Why is it if you can believe in a god that he still puts babies in the graves. Kids dying for illness everyday. Explain that.
Why is it that life quality still *****. I'm still here. Me and my bottomless bottles of pills.
Four of these. Two of these. One of that.
Why am I here.
Do I have purpose?
Maybe my purpose was to be a faint memory...
One to pass with the blowing leaves.
Either way i am here.
Either way I'm still clinging to life.
Pill by pill.
Medical ritual after ritual.
I am here.
Alive.
Ana S May 2017
Her
Even though there is a smile on her face...
Her eyes are still blank.
Her pale reflection.
It's the only recollection.
The only memories of her.
Anyone has anymore.
A pale ghostly girl.
The one who always slept in class.
The one who always had dark circles under her eyes.
The one you stared at when she would cry.
The one that one day you told to die.
What if that day she had listened. How would it feel having that on your chest.
You killed a girl.
You killed her.
A girl you didn't fully know. Judged by misconceptions.
Ana S May 2017
Anorexia at its finest.
Thin and spineless.
Anorexia at its finest.
Taking away her will to eat.
Yes this is anorexia and its finest.
Let me tell you never once has anorexia give a **** about you.
Or her, him or me.
Anorexia at its finest.
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