the view is everything
from here,
in my lair.
this view is everything;
the night sky
the trees covered in ivy
covered in snow.
the icicles on the window.
the blanket on
my body,
the sun in my mind.

if i said that i would
then i will.

i can surely tell
you what it's like
out in these streets.
but i don't think
you're going to like it.

you lured me in
with a fancy word,
acting like some kind of
real person that
actually exists in the world.

stunned to silence
by an interesting mind
and pretty eyes,
i had an adventure
on a thursday.

if you crave a taste
of the finer things
get yourself a seasonal man
he does what he wants
whenever he can
and though it may take
a fortnight
or two
his flame burns
the brightest
the reflection
of you.

of the many things
of which i know
nothing
you are the most
vast and deep.

and of the small things
i am capable of
overcoming,
this thing is not
one.

and of all the
wildness i can tame,
|this|
i cannot.

[2:05]**


soakin'
in
mag
nes
i
um
um
um
um

thinkin'
bout
you
mm­m
mmm
mmm

hey you
you   the only
one like you hey
you with all
the things
you hey  you
without
all the things
you hey you
there is only one
like you hey
you i already
found you
hey
you.

today i realized,
absurdly,
that this very foreign,
warm,
light
amazing feeling
is what the dictionary
or jeopardy would
refer to as
euphoria;
and i'm sorry,
but that's hilarious.

some days
you hit every red light
and get stuck behind
a literal **** truck
for miles on end
when it's 85° and
the a/c is broken.

and i'm pretty ******* certain
that if you don't want to hear it,
you're not gonna hear it.

and if you don't want to learn,
you're not gonna learn.

and it's not my fault
you can't attune your
listening ears.

if i were to
hear your voice
i would be
crushed to ashes
to dust
to gold
and thrown into
the sky
only to fall
as a star
to the earth
to dust
to ash
to particle
to light

i came all this way
through the woods
only to find
these blue dragonflies.

and mind to numb
i
i
i
lose my flow with the sun.

is it ok
if i cry for you

just a little bit longer?

i keep saying that
this time
is the last
cry

but then another
thought comes
another memory
arises

and i can see your face in
the changing light
so calm
so relaxed
so beautiful

i hear your voice
in my mind
and my lip
starts to quiver

i'm sorry i am
who i am
and for whatever
i have done

i didn't even mean
to find you

i wish i didn't know
about you

sometimes
it's better not to know
and not to love.

so please,
can i just cry a little more?

because right now
i imagine that
in my last days
when
i am old and
ugly and
everyone has died

i will be alone
and remembering
the nights with you

and that thought,
i cannot bear.
not now and
not tomorrow.

i just need to
cry for you
one last time.
(ad infinitum)

you came to me
in a
d r e a m
as bright and beautiful
as my memory
it was
christmas eve
but you would not stay for dinner.
and in your absence,
a man with
3 eyes approached me.

(summer samba)

still,
tears roll down my cheeks
for you.

there is nothing real
to be had here,
in this land of
perpetual winter.

i am a fury
and i am against you.
i am on fire
and i stand against you.
i am hard
*and i rail against you.

once you comprehend your worth,
you must leave when
you cannot find
a reason to stay.

b.a | m.s.e.d

self-ejection
isolation
q u e e n
a self-imposed
hibernation

slick paranoia and
wild string thoughts

i want to\b a c k s p a c e\
moonwalk
like windows closing
in succession
in a burst of
d i s b u r s e m e n t

this reality is
really a strange
derivative
of the
original

so,
sometimes,
i end my day
by rolling onto my stomach
closing my eyes
listening to Amazon play

and i imagine myself
a happy reptile,
sunning on the rocks
until tomorrow,
by the glow of
my macbook.

i have things
    that used to be white.

truly white fabric
         is a stunning rarity

it catches your eye
it makes you feel
bright and clean
everyone's skin looks
beautiful in white

but nothing stays white
no matter how long
i soak things
they don't
return
to
a
pure
state of whiteness

imagine my dismay
to see a new product
fail to ******
up the
things that take
the white away

it's upsetting

but what of it?
why do i keep trying
to make things white?

maybe things can
only be white
for those first few minutes
of prismatic glory

and that's that.

(and 1,000 nights)

speak to me
of
loneliness
in
1,000 days.
then
i will begin
to relate.
then,
i might have
sympathy.

show me the
lines around
your eyes,
in 1,000 nights,
and i will
begin
to take note.

find yourself
in the
silent walls

weep into
the pillows

stare at
the ceiling
for
1,000 days
&
1,000 nights.
and i may
have the
temperament
to listen.

i will break in
the coming together
i will break
against the falling apart.

you liked
(and you spoke)
pretty eyes looking into mine
mischievous eyes
blinking so innocently

lights were red
and the air a veil
still, hands moved
oh, the blood moved

once upon a time,
once upon a time.

there is no forgiveness
for  s n a k e s

yesterday i met
a boy
with pretty blue eyes.

leaves move like people
in the corner of my eye
(advancing, retreating)

and i wonder why

i throw things into the world
like ***** of white hot light
why i can't just
dip my toes in
like the tips of the
willow branches
dancing in the water

i come with fire and heat
all in.

splashing wildly
trying desperately to be  a l i v e.

that he sees
g o d
(whatever that is,
if it even exists)
in your eyes?

when you catch a glimpse
of yourself
and realize you accidentally
have the hair
of the emperor of rome,
just seize the day, *****.
create a political system,
carve some statues,
force men to fight in a pit
to the death.
i don't know, man
lol

what?
did i not give you enough
purple paint?
i would decimate
all the purple pigment for you,
chemist.
i would deconstruct
the molecules into
primary
red and blue
i would find yellow
and give you all the colors.
silly bird,
can i tear the world apart
getting all the pretty paper?
put it in an envelope and
slide it across the table
to you?
(cuz i'm cool like that)
what must i do?
what must i do?

I could have went to China
for all you know.
I could have been summoned to Hell
*for all you care.

three is better
than two is
better than one
when greatness is
inspired in none.

he can’t hide
the dreams in his eyes.
so i guess I’ll
lay on this flowered couch
and watch the birds
in a hall & oates love song rampage.

i am unable to
free myself
from the
d r e a m
of you.