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Apr 2020 · 167
Untitled
amalia Apr 2020
For a second i thought of quitting
But then i look back to the people i might left

For a second i thought of forwarding
But then i look back to my reason of quitting

I am stuck and scared and angry

I dont know where i should go

I'm not sure how to end this

And i doubt it if i keep trying my best to survive in this game. I'm gonna keep making a new scars on my chest

Die you should just die

It scream on my ear

But i am scared to convince my sins on the face of the Most Mercy.

Time keeps ticking
And i am still stuck and scared and quiet.
Feb 2018 · 230
Untitled
amalia Feb 2018
and my heart dropped to its knee
crying..
asking..
why are you stay to a storm like me?..
Jan 2018 · 340
MD
amalia Jan 2018
MD
Your words slowly strings to my brain
Your gaze full fill my heart
Your touch pleased my body
Hair to toe
Wanting your kiss
daily struggle..

Just by one blink
You are what i need to stay alive

Just by one smile
I am healing from my wounds

I have laid my faith on your shoulder
Dont break it
Lets build ours together

I want you to be there on every step i choose to take
I want you to be the one that lace my chin up when i cry
I want you.....
I want you to be part of my chapter
Please stay honey
Please stay even when it all tumbling
Dec 2017 · 478
You
amalia Dec 2017
You
I found you..
I hope i found you..
I m pretty sure its you
No dont deny me
Its you..
I know its you
The tools is with you, fix me..
I know you will..

Thank you God..
I found him..
I hope i found him..
amalia Nov 2017
I would never waste a night to argue with you
if i knew it was your last night
Standing
Breathing

Goodbye, Darling..
My tears will guide you through
My Prayer will build you castle on heaven

I sew this flower make your grave look beautiful as you are...

Only we never made mistake to ripped each other heart
Only i drove you home that night..

Goodbye, Darling...
God won't let you ride this evil life too long

Goodbye, Darling..
Rest in Peace...

This regret is what i bury deep along with you...

Goodbye, Darling..
Goodbye, My Dear...
Nov 2017 · 235
Untitled
amalia Nov 2017
Hey!

Hello!

Look i am here

Recognize me, can you?

Take my hand, can you?

Don't do this to me...

I am invisible
Even in where i belong to

I am invisible
Even when the sun rising

Don't do this to me...
Nov 2017 · 416
Women Does Not....
amalia Nov 2017
women does not have to be a diploma to be respect
women does not have to be under 100bs to be called ****
women does not have to be **** to be called beautiful
women does not have to fear or being fear of by walking on the street wearing hijab
women does not have to have a long beautiful straight hair to wear a cute hair-clip
women does not have to wear an under-knee skirt to not being cat-called

WOMEN DOES NOT HAVE TO BE A MAN TO BE STRONG

women can run faster than the wind

every women on earth live their own strength inside them

speak out
say no
cry out

yes, women cries so does men!
Nov 2017 · 306
Untitled
amalia Nov 2017
My heart stops beating just now
but my eyes keeps open somehow
Oct 2017 · 764
Pretending
amalia Oct 2017
Rainy day...
Blanket...
Music...
Tea..
Thoughts...

What the hell am i doing here?
Am i doing it right?
Am i missing a point?

I smell the dew like *******...
I came here to reduce my pain..

Thanks to those who thinks my life is better than theirs
Thank You!
It is one thing that keeps me going.

The other thing is just me pretending..

Pretending to be brave...
Pretending to be sure..
Pretending that i'd never grumble...
Pretending that i am in the happiest place to be...

The other thing is just me trying to forget that i was just pretending....
i've been feeling that my life is ****** up lately
Oct 2017 · 381
Cup of Tea
amalia Oct 2017
To the cup of tea i say
" I love him so much"
The cloud up on my head picture him clearly
No blur..
My hand still recognize how softly his held mine

While the wind brought us to the red of love..

But still..

I locked myself in my bathroom the next day
Screaming his name...

Asking...
What the **** he's trynna do to me?

Asking...
Are we love?

To the cup of tea i say
"I wanna keep him"

To the almighty God i say
"Can I please keep him?"
Oct 2017 · 341
Love
amalia Oct 2017
Love..
It is not always how many hugs you gave to your lover in a day wishing they know what they means to you..
Love..
It is not always how much money you spent on lover's birthday to see them smiling.
Love...
It is not always a good night kiss
Love..
It is not always how to get "you are beautiful" for someone..
Love is ....
Wait let me google it..
No, Love is something that google cant explain enough what love is
Love is brain control to your heart..
Love is an art that heart does..
Love is arguing with lover..
Love is apologizing in bed before the good night kiss
Love is your father
Love is your mother
Love is your sister
Love is your brother
Love is my 9 years old sister (kekey, i love you so much)
Love is your best friend that stays and handed you an umbrella when life makes you torture.
Love is when you see yourself in the mirror

Why do we need love?
Love is the cure to reduce depression that is also caused by love..
Sep 2017 · 323
Comin' up Birthday
amalia Sep 2017
My Birthday is coming....
I do not expecting any surprises
I do not need any present that wrapped beautifully with a red ribbon

One thing i most excited about is love....
a ton of loves i will get in my birthday..
a love from mother..
a love from lover...

nineteen years i've survived
i went to bad and good
i went to better or worst
hanging on so tight to my heartbeat

i don't know when is the time i should let go
but when the time is coming
i will make sure i have enough of love to hold on in my peace

life makes you dying and love saves you from dying
i wrote this on my birthday which was a couple months ago
Sep 2017 · 857
I Love Him...
amalia Sep 2017
I love him...
For God Sake
I love him....

I love him...
For whatever it is he's done to me
For whatever risk he took to treat me right

I love him...
For bad or good

I love him...
For today, still continue at tomorrow

I love him...
Like i said yesterday...
Sep 2017 · 311
Sunrise won't Stay forever
amalia Sep 2017
I don’t really know how much I love you today
but I was so sure you’re the one I love yesterday

I’m not really sure what makes me love you this much
but I swear I’m tired

Let me rest my heart on the white coat float on the quite river,
Please don’t you ever touch the water again it is already quiet enough for me to sleep.

Thank you, thank you for taking me to the roller coaster, it was fun yet scary, wasn’t it?
I know it wasn’t that scary for you,
cause you’re the one that created the road
and me, I am the victim of your ******* roller coaster taking high giving stomach a beautiful butterfly just to drop it harder,

I saw you laughing you saw me puking, that was a very cruel of you.

I knew it from the start,
I saw you coming,
I saw the sunrise coming,
It was warm and embraced me all day
for just a one day
before the storm coming,
the sunrise left me without any permission,
left me with this cold.

I told myself how fool I am to think that the sunrise will stay forever.
Sep 2017 · 207
Please Be Gone
amalia Sep 2017
This is our worst night
This is where our story ends
You and I both release the pen

I tried to call you 15 times..
I close my eyes listening to the connection sound..

I may not the best you want me to be
But I'e been so far from my own home to be close to you..

I open my phone to your 15 Missed calls...
The longest explanation just to make me ******...

Please be gone or stay but at least change...
Sep 2017 · 251
what happened in the garden
amalia Sep 2017
I am a butterfly.....
He is a stone....

I like how beautiful all the flowers..
I like to fly around cause my wings are strong and beautiful..

He accept the moss to stay on his body..
He doesn't know how to move
He is too heavy for his own heart

He likes to watch me dancing in the air

He is there, He is stay...

When my wings are broken
When i'm no longer could fly

He is there, He is stay still..

He accept me to lay on his heavy heart..

— The End —