the girl staring back at me,
standing tall trying to keep the tears back,
as she stood disgusted with her body.
she didn't have visible scars,
she had mental scars.
she covered her body as much as she could so that no one could see ,
she believed she was overweight,
she didn't tell anyone that she starved herself
or that she throw up to make it go away,
because she keeps her secrets locked away
for no body to see.

And in that moment I knew that all of the fairy tales I grew up with
All of the love stories I was brought up to believe in
Were fake
That true love doesn't come to those who wait
Or to those who truly deserve it
But to those who realize that there's a reason the ultimate love is usually the love that is forbidden
And that it is forbidden because if it were allowed,
We'd all believe that those simple little fairy tales were real.

Why would you want to be with him when he’s all over other girls?

well,
I think I’m scared to be alone again.
And I think I’m blinded by the thought that he actually “loves” me
Like when you get into a relationship that’s been going for this long
And you think that you actually want to be with them
And they want to be with you,
And you begin to see things slowly again
Like him with other girls
And you think
do I really want him
Or the affection he gives me.

Do you know the feeling of being hated?
Thinking that they’re your best friend but as soon as you leave
They talk about you, not like little things they don’t like about you.
No, you feel like they ***** about how much they hate you,
You feel like they never really liked you,
They put a fake smile on,
And they say they ‘like’ you.
But even though you call them your best friends,
You’re not theirs.
And it really hurts to think that your “best friends”
Secretly hate you.

The thought of maybe loosing you
Because I’m falling out of love
But being with you although maybe fun
I don’t know if it’s what I want.
Am I still in love with you?
Do you feel the same way?
Neither of us put the effort in anymore.
Is it just about over for us?
Please, help me out
Do you want to still be with me?
Cause I am unsure.

The feeling of not being able to do anything
That is the feeling that hurts me most
When I cannot be with you to help you
Or when I don’t know what to say
The feeling of guilt builds up inside me
And after minutes, hours, days of that guilt
It becomes too bearable to keep in
And I let it out,
But you don’t understand what’s wrong with me
And then you get the turn of the guilt.

The stress from today
Travels with me again tomorrow
Like weights on my shoulders
Unable to be thrown off
Until daylight shines
Lifting it away
But not for very long
Because the stress from yesterday
Starts again tomorrow.