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What will it be like
when I close my eyes
      for the last time?
Will I see that
    bright light
      I have heard about?
Pain may flicker
in those last moments,
      or maybe
       there will be
      no pain at all?
This I do not know.
From my first breathe
     to my last, oh how
many people and places
have I known and been?
Seems a wandering train
      of adventures
         has left the track.
Oh, how it seems
to have been rushed.
       It is now,
       as it seems,
        the end.
That last stop
    that shall only
     happen the once.
This passenger
    is getting off
     at that location.
Will anyone be
      at the station
        to greet me?
Such is the faith
     I hold, that I
      hope this is so.
Shutting down.
Closing.
Dying.
Final visions
filtering themselves
      from my eyes.
Who will I see
    around the bed
      when
       I
        swallow my
         last gasp?
Should I be afraid?
Or should I
     welcome the
      death rattle
       as a system of
        release?
Free from
the sundry
incompleteness
of walking in this life.
Not having to
      worry about
       the
        imperfection
         of walking
          on this planet.
As life drains
     out of me,
      what will be
       my very last thought?
What final image
       will I take with me
        to the grave?
I pray it will be swift.
Absent from pain
       and present
        in God.
 May 2016 Amber
Nathan Pival
Life is a trudging beast that isn't going to stop
For you or for anyone
It will go on and on
As the world turns
With or without you
So it's best to move on when you can
In the hopes that maybe you can catch up
And start living again
 Sep 2014 Amber
oh me oh my
father
 Sep 2014 Amber
oh me oh my
you listen.

when he tells you
you
are
worthless.

when he tells you
you'll
never
be
anything.

when he tells you
it's
always
your
fault.

when he tells you
you
aren't
good
enough.

you listen.
because im your father, and you have to respect your parents. you're just 16, you don't know anything. you won't succeed, you'll be just like your druggy brother, your other drop out brother. you're just like my bipolar ex fiance, that's the kind of stuff she would pull, you know better. you don't need that medicine, just get over it. you're going to hell for believing in that, you don't know any better, you're just 16. you are so disrespectful to sit there and talk back to me. you're wrong, wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong, im always right, you're only 16, you don't know anything. youll grow out of it, you need to do better, you need to try harder, you'll never amount to anything. you need to stop, you need to listen, you need to think. why are you crying because i raised my voice to get my point across, you weren't listening, you should've known better, you need to hear the truth. you need to get your act together, you're 16. you don't need to say things like that, you don't need to go there, you can tell them you can't go, you're only 16.
 May 2014 Amber
Shane Oltingir
If I had to give my son advice,
To, on his little life, shed light:
I'd say don't do drugs, and if you do.
Do Class C in the mornings,
And Class A's at night.
If you're gonna do it, do it right.

If I had to give my son advice,
To save his little heart from pain:
I'd say never love at a distance;
Your heart will succumb to a lonely bind.
For words, are far too nervous,
and probably won't get there on time.

If I had to give my son advice,
So his smile remains a genuine jewel,
I'd say be sure to marry a writer.
Smile as much as you possibly can,
And if they feel it worth defending
They will rewrite, and edit out your problems,
And give you a happy ending.
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