Being with you was like
being in a car
with the gas pedal slammed
down to the floor and
nothing to do but hold
on and pretend to have
some semblance of control.
But control was
something I'd lost a
long time
ago

Red, distant rose
over the sleepy
miles kissed
emotionally proposed
pure endless telling
blossoms reflecting
someday, Christmas
will come and
my present you will tear
with fingertips ripping
my precious promises
open.

There's something in your eyes
When you look at her
It's something that she doesn't seem to see
Your eyes light up
And I know what you're thinking
That someday you'll be together
Just not now
I know just what you're thinking
Because the same thoughts come to mind
Whenever I think of you and me

Your physically here
But mentally your not
I still had hope
Even after all the times we fought
I thought we would get better
However as months pass by
It's far too clear
Our love has died

Why is it
That every time I close my eyes
What I wish for most
Is my quick demise
Is it because of the ache in my heart
Or perhaps
It's the fact that my darkest emotions
They won't leave me alone
Not until I'm completely torn apart

My eyes were bloodshot and you told me I needed more sleep
And that's when I realized that you weren't who I thought you were
Because I always thought of all the people
You would understand
That some nights are not meant for sleeping

And some nights my body doesn't fit me right and I wrestle around trying to get in my own skin again.

And some night my dreams are so vivid I can't tell what's real and what's not the next morning and it scares me.

And some nights the spaces between my ribs grow and the world becomes filled with metaphors and wonder and the air is so sweet I can barely breathe.

And some nights,
the night is all I have and I'm afraid that if I fall asleep it'll be taken from me so I hold on as tight as I can.

Some nights are very very good
Some nights are very very bad
Sleep does not belong to either of those nights
Sleep is not worthy of those precious hours of darkness when my surroundings match my emotions

I thought you would understand.