i need to cry
but who can i call?
it's late
and you're sleeping
it's been a long day after all

i need to cry
but who can hold me?
it will be okay
it's not so bad
is what you've always told me

i need to cry
but i am here alone
each tear falls in silence
no one hears it
no one's home

i need to cry
but it may not stop
the ache in my heart
will hemorrhage
and it's the only life i've got

i need to cry
because it isn't fair
a thousand knives
into the core of my being
by saying he won't be there

i need to cry

i need to.

•run•

I'm writing on this water-stained page
to tell you how much I've missed you
since you've been away.
And I hope you know:
I wish I could have stayed.
But baby,
you never even met me halfway.

You've got a lot of nerve
to keep coming back;
things were going fine
as they were,
And then
Just like that -
you come running
and say you miss me, too.

**** you.
You must know
there's nothing I wouldn't do.

But honey,
you're no good for me,
you never were;
I guess we jumped the gun.

I'm better than what we've done -
And now it's my turn
to run.

I have crawled across shattered glass
For you
There are shards of broken promises embedded in my kneecaps
My palms are a mosaic of your lies
All this blood paints a tragic statement perhaps
But I've held my tongue for so long
That I can only scream in sighs

Sorry for the nightmares
And the crying when the sky is dark
Maybe you know more than you should
Understand more than you ought to
Even when the tears come
Loneliness won't come before you

and drums of skin
bring a song
we can begin

knowing flesh
sentient lark
bring us all
into the dark

pulsing pleasures
fly to the marrow
into the darkness
like a sparrow
the way is broad
the outcome narrow

hush my heart
into this way
love the night
and not the day

lust for shadow
shun the light
give your soul
without a fight

follow me
fulfill desire
sense the smoke
it's rising higher
you're coming closer
to the fire

come my children
death's sublime
slip to depths
you cannot climb
in the end

you are mine


soulsurvivor
(C) 2/11/2015

"Define happiness"
I left the page blotted with ink,
Obscure shapes and a vivid mental image
Of your beautiful face.

"De-def-de-de-Define h-h-happ-iness"
I scratched the self help CD
you left on the bench as I cried myself to sleep that night;
A year ago.
It came with a book
But I burnt it after I threw my glass of ***** at the wall.

Your face burns my mind
Like the bitter way you were scared to kiss my tongue.

You weren't sick but you were tired.
And how could I blame you for not being able to fix me?
Was I ever really broken?

"D-d-d h-h-h-ness"
I remember the first time I met you,
The first time you spoke my name, you choked.
I still feel the first kiss on the back of my throat like
A bad after taste I can't drown.
The first night I saw you naked;
I had cried into your shirt only an hour before.
I have never seen skin shine like yours does.
Emitting a ray of blood curdling beauty.

The thought makes me sick
But do you think you could
Come over for a while...
Get drunk like we used to
And forget what happiness is?