Is it not strange, it seems so to me
How much men change after matrimony
When we went steady for every date
He spent hours getting ready, always looked great
There were always flowers, cards or a present
He listened to me for hours, was never unpleasant.
Always so cavalier, caring and kind
Calming my every fear, easing my mind
A love life so fantastic, every other night
Though marriage seemed drastic it all seemed so right
Yes I was his queen, the love of his life
Which made him so keen to make me his wife.
I eventually said Yes and we were wed
I could not have guessed how he would wreck my head
Where did it all go wrong, it’s a mystery
We were not married that long, perhaps you could tell me.
When did the Boys appear, I would love to know
When they went out for a beer did he always have to go?
He turned into a slob, an awful sight to see
He spent more time in his job than he did with me.
He always seemed so grumpy, I never heard him laugh
When I talked to him I was jumpy, he often cut me in half
Our love life got so boring, I thought it might improve
It was only farting and snoring that made the earth move
The weekends were a nightmare, he was stuck in to the telly
It sickened me to see him there, all dishevelled and smelly
Watching football and racing, though he could never pick a winner
Leaving me to do the shopping, then serve him up his dinner
Around the house he was useless, he never did a tap
He always made his excuses, he talked some amount of crap
He treated me like a maid, he had no respect for me
And all the promises he made I remembered bitterly.
He never seemed to think of me like he did before
When he forgot our anniversary I could stay silent no more
When the mood was right I tried my best to explain
But all we did was fight, it was all in vain
All the things he loved about me, he seemed now to detest
I could not make him love me though I tried my level best
So I walked out the door wondering if I was to blame
But then I married twice more and each one was just the same.