shaking me lightly, tugging on my arms,
playing with my fingers, ruffling my hair,
whispering sweet nothings,
messaging, calling, anything
to keep me from sleeping

again: i have a tendency to
fall asleep more than once
and it took every ounce
of patience and love as you
comply once more to another

five minutes more?

come lie once more, love
and hold me like the night before
when the warmth kept us through
the freezing cold.
when the fire kept us sane
through the same old story we told.
when the spark kept this
thing from growing old.

and you should have scolded me by now
for sleeping in again, especially on a monday

but i snoozed my alarm
for the fourth time already
and my head feels so heavy
you see, i haven’t been
getting much sleep lately

from falling and sinking
deeper into the familiarity
of a spot we once knew,
a spot i carved in the shape of you,
a spot i thought i’d never lose.

from tossing and turning
between, under, and over
the sheets.

i toss: every unanswered question
to the morning breeze, hoping it
reaches you, while

you turn: your pages to a
brand new sheet

of a future where i
remain in the past
because you slept,
but never dreamt about us
did you, love?

so before the sun scorches
me once again:

just five more minutes.
i promise to get up.

i’ve never liked running.

there was always this pound
in my chest
as the dust and the breeze settles,
as the sweat slithers sidewards,
as the world around me comes to a
halt.

i’ve never liked running.
not when the destination is
nothing but an illusion
just to give me the satisfaction
that my feet lead me to somewhere in this oblivion.

i’ve never liked running.
my lungs were weak
(at least that’s what mom told me)
yet i latch onto your chase

i’ve never liked running
but for you: until the
soles of my shoes thin out,
the oxygen in my lungs run out.
the world around me blurs out.
for you:
i would run
and run
run     run     run     run     ruin
put i in run and now i’m looking at your face
wondering how did we end up
in this haste, this chase

so indulge me:
how do i pace
myself within this space
?

i’ve never liked running
because again, i fall
behind my own weak   ̶h̶e̶a̶r̶t̶

unprecedented, your presence.
like the flaring warmth
of the early morn
s e e p i n g
through the blinds: awakening
the heaviest of eyes;
the coldest of dawns;
the most oblivious of hearts.
i wished i bargained
for five more minutes.

unprecedented,
like a forgotten alarm
r i n g i n g
loudly, repetitively:
it never leaves, no matter
how many times it
has been shut down,
shut out.
how do i shut you out?

unprecedented,
like the crisp, soulless
leaves
f a l l i n
g,
letting go from its
cling onto the
sturdiness yet fragility.
if i let you go,
would that make me sturdy?
would that make me more
Fragile?

unprecedented, your presence.
and as i traverse past you,
i have one request:
next time, knock on the door.

i can feel the passion slowly fading.
when faced with blank pages, i spew nothing
but empty words and meaningless sentences,
so superficial, overflowing with pretenses.

oh, how i miss the wide-eyed writer I used to be:
the type to pour his whole heart and soul into his stories.
now, i'm stuck chasing the words that were once mine,
stuck wondering if i'll ever get back my shine.

the moon is shining bright tonight
just like the night we met.
i remember you taking my hand
and saying,
"make a wish. the moon is listening."
so we wished.
we wished for something.
we wished for someone.
every single time.
we always wished for someone...

but we would never wish for each other.

and that's why we had to let it go.

light the edge,
fan the flame,
make sure it reaches aim,
make sure it reaches,
make sure that it wont die,
the flame: let it burn out.
burn out.
burn.
aim.
fire: bright: deadly: marvelous:
a predictable spectacle.
fireworks: works of fire,
forged, colorful,
temporary: a mere distraction.
spectacle: superficial.
distraction from the bleak night sky.
sporadic.
nonsensical.



just like us.