The storm is brewing
The wind spits parked cars left right and center
Sometimes I'm in the middle of the universe
Wide eyed
Confused
And lost
Alone and scared
Locked in a cage like a bird
Gripping to metal bars
And poor sounding electronica
Dancing all night
And sleeping all day
Hands blistered
Trying to hold on
While the world spins too fast
Change is too hard
Time is too short
Kids are too young
Adults are too old
Something has to give
Because standing in the middle
Makes me forget the reasons
Of why I should live

We've all suffered through birthdays
Christmas
Thanksgiving
Easter
Mothers day
Fathers day
Too weak to get out of bed day
Sick day
Sister day
Grandma day
Auntie day
But what about me day
What happens when my day suffers?

Sign here
She said,
Red chipped fingernails pointed at a broken line
Every letter you drew
Made me cringe
I paced back and fourth
Each penstroke
Took painstakingly longer than the last
The middle aged woman watched me like a hawk
Whispering to her coworker in some foreign language

Sweat rolled down my forehead
One minute felt like an hour


I looked at the sign and then at the clock
I looked at the clock
And then at the sign

"missing since tuesday"
I studied the image
properly wondering how
2 full time employed people
Could be here
bagging for money

Did she hit him with a hammer?
knock too much sense
Into his head?
Blow his brains out with a shotgun?

Hide his body in a dumpster
Or dig a shallow trench
And toss him in
Drown him in a river


He wasnt supposed to die that day!

Did he bleed alot?
What was he wearing a worksuit?
Did he have children ?
How old was he?

The sign was cold and uncaring
Like the man went missing and the world hardly noticed

The sign was vague.
It had been torn and re-taped
Hanging only by a hair.

It waved in the window and I noticed.
I noticed.
I noted.
And i nodded.


Finally with the transaction complete
Money in our pockets
And too many unanswered questions
From a missing man id never meet
We left.
My mind still puzzled with question.

You can't have your cake and eat it too but occasionally you can chip away piece by piece until all the crumbs and slivers are a whole lot of full belly and afternoon naps

A rose doesnt warn you of its thorns,
and love doesnt warn you of heartbreak.
But if you pick up a 6 pack,
a liter of icecream,
a bag of potato chips,
and book the weekend off,
You forget about the rose ******.
You forget about love.
You forget about heartbreak.
The world becomes less cold,
Your heart becomes more warm,
and you begin to realize
that it is better to focus on you,
and less on other people.

A friend once asked me why I didn't use an agenda
My response
Agendas are like quicksand
And timing isn't concrete

You wake up
Better than tomorrow
And fall asleep
Better than today

Poetry is about the heavens above us
It's about the arguments between us
That we try to let go
It's about the business men
And business women
It's about the house parties we throw as teens
And regret when we're adults
It's about the sirens in the streets
The secrets that we keep
It's about looking to the sky and seeing beyond the blues
It's taking our 4 senses
And creating something we can use

It's about the poor houses with their families in pain
It's about the rich houses
That have nothing more to gain

We never notice the chirping of the birds  
Or the winds or the trees or the yellowing grass
We're all too busy
Pretending that the earth will somehow last

It's sitting in the car
With your mind on stand still

Observing the world
For its organic pill

Poetry  is
Feeling your surrounding
Poetry is
Learning grounding
...
What is poetry?

Family
Friends
Coworkers
Strangers
Partners
Rings
Wrongs
Rights
Why's
Tries
Lies
Goodbyes
Thighs
But still
Alone
Single
Lonely
Little

Have patience with your friends
Your lovers
Your coworkers
Your aunt's
Your uncle's
Cousins
Strangers
People you meet on the street
People who set you up to meet
Patience
Is something
Worth learning
And
Understanding

fighting other people is
easier than fighting yourself
its easier feeding other people ****
then being spoon fed
your own *******

but heres some ****** **** for thought.

uneducated
illprepared
not ready
going no where
buzzing noises
shakes
heartbreaks
realizations
interpersonal
internalize
you dont even understand
or begin to see
the ways ive tried

I saw you standing on
A different level,
In An alternate world,
In an alternate state,
You wanted to hug,
You wanted to apologize ,
You wanted to recouncil,
Make peace with everything
You thought you'd done,
Sew up the stitches in time,
Smooth out the waves in the sea
We call life,
But i found comfort in miles ahead,
And I'm sorry,
I can't look back now

I saw you standing on
A different level,
In An alternate world,
In an alternate state,
You wanted to hug,
You wanted to apologize ,
You wanted to reconcile,
Make peace with everything
You thought you'd done,
Sew up the stitches in time,
Smooth out the waves in the sea
We call life,
But i found comfort in miles ahead,
And I'm sorry,
I can't look back now

Be the sun in someone else's darkness

Antidote
Arguments
Arranged
Always
Afraid
Acquired
A page
Abandon
Accept

The mirror in you
Shines hope in me
But only when you
Acknowledge
What you were blind
To see

A humble man once said
"Hahaha"
And expected
Rebirth

A man, in a humble,
Said,
"Once you hahaha,
You have been reborn".

I hear the alarm
It's same tune chiming loudly like a preset radio from a love sick sucker
Drowning in liquor
Talking quicker than his thoughts can arrange
And I think to myself
Why do i bother to wake up
Why do we say good morning when we really mean bad ?

lightening is outside
tapping at the glass
strikes of bright
yellow flashes
brighter than the flashes
on our smart phones
(more like dumb phones because rarely
do they ever work properly)
jokes on us though
because most of us cant even last half an hour
without our phones
or we start to go bananas

Life isn't basic
So why do we expect a
Simple solution
To a complex equation?

Learn to allow emotion to feed your soul
Not starve it !

You used to be smart
Book smart
Head so far in books the boys only read you for your body
They still do
But now you're slipping
Fading
Falling
Crumbling like the stones on the east side of the cliff
And the downfall isn't pretty
It's not filled with
Diamonds or gems
Expensive purses
Or MacBooks

It's empty
It's lost
And it's scary

It's alone

Trust me when I say this
I've been there
It's not pretty

i am exactly like you mom
i have your blonde hair
the curls
the long lashes

i talk just like you
to be frank
i am your mini me
but something about me is different

where you seek love
i seek to lose it

three words
i havent said in probably 3 years
maybe longer

compliments
i dont do compliments
i do insults
or complex
complicating
evading
  
being elusive and ****
with a dark sided twist

i dont know
i feel like the world
always owes me
like ive been robbed at gun point
by my own silver bullet

sometimes i wish that
i could just **** well do it

get it over with
you know

load it
point it
**** it
blow it

but the problem is
i'm just like you

i'm too afraid of
jumping hoops

picking them up
and setting the rest of the world on fire
spinning the rings
on my left thumbs
typing up poems
because in person
i just sound dumb
........

Things don't just mend themselves immediately
But with the right persistence
Trial can become success
With
Some persistence

I don't want to get up
The sun is too yellow
Her rays are too strong
I say
Sleep is for the weak she claims
She peels back my eyelids
I'm blind for the day

I'm trying to be present
But I'm sorry
Sometimes presents
Don't come
Wrapped in a pretty
Bow!

I wonder if
Emotionally stable people just
Sit on the throne in the mornings
Flushing out
Unwanted emotions
Filtering through
The daily
Bs

we reciprocate the trust
the truth
the right
the wrong
the how
the why
the hi
the bye
all for romance
like the butterflies in our tummys
when we first fall in love
but sometimes
those butterflies
simply cant fly
they forget
sometimes
despite all their tries

masks screams a liar
and a liar
even if you arent caught in a lie
exactly
a hidden factor
is just as much guilt
to be on my way

Don't get engulfed in your history
Or history in general,
Sometimes history is meant to stay in the past,
We are creatures of structure,
When something's broke we try to fix it
And then we often say a lesson has been learnt
And we feel rich
But should we really try to fix things
And recreate history
When in reality
The future is but a mystery
And if you take the mystery out of history
Your future is the past
And not the future
So really
Just stay like a present
Box yourself
But put a pretty bow on the top
Even if you're cheap
Because
Cheap looks cute on you

We are not robots.
Our bosses just program us
to operate machines

Robotically

grey white water droplets played peek a boo amongst the
tips of the trees in the skyline.
tickling their tops with soft gusts of wind. weaving in and out like a miniature vortex. it was peaceful. it was calming. there were no rustling of animals. not even the birds made peeps. the sky seemed to shadow the earth of all living. the white blanket hugged the land, ******* it dry of occupation. Jayden stood in the center of its mouth. A dream like state engulfed her mind. Her thoughts obsolete. Everything seemed divergent. Her footsteps echoed as she  walked along the concrete. She looked upwards again  - this time noticing the gold emerging .  How could the sky canopy such beauty in nothing. No color, no sound, no taste.

Do not speak to mad people
They will run their mouth
Right out your door
Your neighborhood
And all the way to the next town
But if you get too carried away
You will see
That madness
Breeds inside
Of humanity.

How come I hear walking stomping tick tocking from the roof above me
The heavens aren't raged
I live on the top floor
There's no rain
drip dropping
Or
Ice forming on my window yet

The cold of winter lifting the hairs on the back of my arms
***** like a love sick man
(I like women)

Drilling and talking
Why at 1016 in the morning
Do i realize that all of my questions will remain questions
Because you can't make concrete
from pain
(That holds)

A friend is like a ball
You bounce it and it leaves but it always comes back

A lover is another story
It leaves and when it's gone it's gone for good

People need to learn the importance of a friend

Would you rather a life where you are guaranteed joy and laughter everyday

Or a week holiday banked with amazing *** and pure ecstasy
Then gone the following Monday

A friend is a ball with a plan
A lover is a plane with no landing

Obsession of possession can be corrected but how to correct obsession of another being ?

How can you trust a person who broke said trust a thousand times over?

How do you set boundaries when you are constantly deep sea diving and  gasping for air ?

Comparing kills creativity but creation triumphs tv!

.. One makes smiles for the self
While one paints false smiles on somebody else!

roll the dice love
i just want to lose your love tonight
insult
complimate
compliment
complimate
comply
compromise­
compterize
contemperize
close the door
and dont forget what i told ya
shoulder
heres the door
you want more
i dont wanna lose
Control

her words can tickle your ears
her words tickle more of you than you wish you'd hear
but tell me this
without a twist

what have you told her?

I can't replace him
I am not your boyfriend
Or your father
Or the insecurities that haunt you
Dropping in on you like flys
Buzzing in and out of your life
But never leaving
I'm not them
And I never will be
I'm not used to living with you
Bowing down to greatness
Because I wouldn't know great
If it came right up and bit me
Lets face it
I'm stuck back here with you
Exactly where I shouldn't be

Your thoughts will destroy you if you let them
Watch them wash away all happiness through a river
Better yet a flood
Sinking
Swimming
Drowning
Dying
I'm dying
But all you see is you

difficult is sleeping
with a mind that never shuts up
difficult is being awake and alone
when the world is asleep and all together
difficult is watching the stars brighten up the sky
but only for you and your eyes
difficult is watching the sun set
but being able to share it with no one
difficult is cooking a meal for six
and eating it for one
difficult is learning to run
before you've mastered how to walk
difficult is rewriting stories
from a book that never existed
difficult is knowing what to say
but stumbling over the words to talk
difficult is starting a hundred projects
but completing negative one
....
(to be continued)

Tonight I relived our life
Heck I relived our story
But I didn't give in
I didn't pick up the pen
Tap into my fears
I didn't pick up a pencil
I just listened for once
And as the seconds turned to minutes
For once clocks
Time
And us
Really felt incredibly man made

My explanation of manipulation
Is simple
Cross the I and dot your tea

Do you hear noises at night
See ghosts of ex's that were never really there?
Do you wipe ***** dishes with clean cloths and leave them there

Space out on purpose
Or act dumb
Because being smart draws
More attention

Have you ever slept so peacefully
You woke up face first in drool?

Do you brush doors and walls
With body parts
More than you touch other people?

These are the kinds of things I wonder

But I know you're never wondering
About me.

four bullets
strike a bone
and a rib

brilliant *******
crimson rivulets
escaping like ghosts

the heartbeat struggles
to keep time
a failing metronome

death gnaws at nostalgia
the past
no less a path
of broken dreams

Even ants have feels
Remember that
As you stomp all over
Mother earth's
World
Your earth
My earth
The world's
Earth

Please don't slurp your coffee loudly
Spit splats over the table
Snot rags scatter along the floor
Crickets crunch under our toes
Its hard to believe this is the life we chose
It's hard to believe
That me
Was once we

A tribe is a group of people,
followers,
strangers,
people you think you know,
wasting dreams
for someone they dont yet know,
but pride
pride may be ego
but atleast ego
is someone you know
not someone you dont !