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 Apr 2015 Aaron Combs
Charlie
luna
 Apr 2015 Aaron Combs
Charlie
we slept to drugs and loud music
hopping in cars, drinking beers, cutting our hair
with stick and poke tattoos that faded and
lips that's touched each other's and the taste
of salt from tears and she's a sunset,
she's the greeting to the moon coming home
she's the safety and comfort of a lover and
the anger and hope of a parent

we fell to soft, kind boys at the same time
with bandaged hearts and arms holding to
each other for strength and love
with big ideas and dreams and
stars in our eyes to match and
i am the sunrise, the kiss goodbye when
he leaves for work or school or for
another woman and i am the joy of a
child for exciting news and warmth of a
mother for devastation and we're full of
so much love.

she the waxing moon and i, waning
and we compliment each other to make
one big light that floods the ground with
sparkles in our energy
for my soul mate boo-bestie-baebae: maddi
A lack of motivation
No will to succeed.
I've come to a crossroads
but it's direction I need.
Which path do you take when they all seem the same?
Long winding roads fraught with sadness and pain.
Maybe stay the course and ignore the budget
because clear minds cause cloudy judgement.
Or I could put it all down and try to go clean
but then I'm stuck in my own skin forced to be me.
Synapses shooting signals constantly causing my anxiety.
I'm unstable on the edge so please tread lightly.
Because I don't know who's in charge at any given moment.
Voices in my head always screaming to get violent.
The reptile is running wild, he can't be contained.
I'm just the meat puppet while hes pulling on my strings.
Listen to your thoughts conflicting.
Realize that somethings missing.
Fall victim to the instincts that once kept you alive.
My greatest adversary is locked inside.
 Apr 2015 Aaron Combs
Ciske
6 am
 Apr 2015 Aaron Combs
Ciske
Its 6 am,
and the clock
on the wall,
keeps me awake,
makes me aware
of time ticking by.

My heart broke,
a long time ago
and i don't think
i can ever
be whole.
This is me, at 06:00.
You lose a job
the lover you tied your life with drifts elsewhere
the place you grew root seems not home anymore
the days are vacuous and nights a crawler
your head echoes with the deafening groan

I deserve no love, even from me.

Surely it’s the worst portrait you drew of yourself
and an erroneous one.

The job was filling your purse but emptying your purpose
the lover was no fairy but a fair weather friend
the home was only a harbor you anchored before sail.

There’s a world at your doorstep begging your attention
withering without your love.

Pick up and hold them to your breast
see how quickly unburdens your chest
your spirits soar.

From thence you would never cease
to love yourself from the core!
women say they want a sensitive man but they mock me when i sit at the piano crying for hours holding a lighthearted paper candle and a smile tucked in between my lips

they say they want a hard working man with ***** fingernails but
they claw at me if i turn a sun-browned shoulder against them in bed

they say they would love a cultured man but they cringe when i kiss them with lips tasting of whiskey & cigar smoke or touch them with fingers gentle as soft old paper

they say they dig the cold but they huddle in blankets when i stay up all night dancing naked across the lawn listening to joni mitchell in january

they say they want their own sugar space but turn sour when i linger and wake up dreaming of becoming an astronaut

they say they're comfortable with my past imperfections but it's my fault when i have a nightmare about being strung out on the perfume of another woman

they want a man who can write a song but they struggle when i anchor a poem to their delicate ankles and fill their empty rooms with shamefully broken pencils

they love my beautiful tattoos and piercings but shake me when i spend days wrapped inside a coral shell singing a lullaby

they want the idea of a man they've read about in books but won't tolerate me when i read them the atrocities in the sunday paper under the lampshade of an oak tree

women say they'll take me as i am but get lonely when i wander for a week and come home buried in the scent of a rock and roll bar

they say they make friends easily, like me, but can't stand to come home to talking & laughing cynical & drunk in a house full of strangers

they want a quiet man who loves them like the stars but scream when i learn to fly at the mercy of the weather & can't be captured

they want to live naughty with the thick musk of a man but act bewildered when they're caught soaking wet and weak in the knees

women say they love men with a tolerance but get jealous when i'm dizzy drunk at dawn on cheap tequila and the memory of my mother

they want a man who lives inside a corridor of words but hate me when they realize artful compliments are only cages of pretty lies

they're helpless for a man with grace but hate me when i'm pitiful and clumsy in the dark after blowing out candles and closing windows in the middle of june

they say they'll only fall in love with a lover of music but audibly cough when i hush them as Coltrane makes dazzling sodium fall across my face

they all wish for a man with careful eyes
but mine are blue and empty in the end
& it gets lonely
so i will no longer carry a song for them in my heart
like a trail-weary cowboy
no lust
no memory
no guilt
no cups
no whistles
or jewels in my vulnerable shadow
is your faith so fragile
you **** to protect it?
no notes necessary
The most **** thing about a guy has nothing to do with his clothes, hair or eye colour.

It's in the way he looks at you with longing, when you finally find out he wants you just as badly as you want him.

When he pulls you so close to him that there is literally no space between you, because he can't stand the thought of there being any.      

When he kisses you, so that it feels as if he is stealing the air from your lungs, and for those few seconds you forget what air even is.
    
When all thoughts go out the window and its just him, with you,in the most simple way possible.

Now that is the definition of ****.
Pure passion is ecstacy...
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