Teeth chatter and butts raise above seats,
Riding pickups atop the corduroy road,
Thunder claps of rubber bass beats,
Slapping the undercarriage's rusty odes.

The tires rhythmic riffs are risky,
Clavinet keys echo wood beams over muddy water,
Walter Murphy drinks a Fifth of Beethoven's whiskey,
Leaving superstitions for Stevie to Wander.

Anti venom pinch,
naloxone's kiss,
now standard like first aid kits,
breathless blue,
second shift's rescue crew,
those blind shadows sent Hell away.

Awoken to,
interviews,
strapped down to a siren's bed,
they asked my name,
and I just said,
will I see my son again.

      How do you explain,
      awakening,
      to a memory never known.
      How do you explain,
      awakening, awakening.

Called my mom,
and my wife,
send the lawyer to my bedside,
I'll explain,
in room thirteen,
must be a reason I'm alive.

Second chance,
that song, its dance,
rest in bliss,
my fellow friends,
addiction sees your mind to bend,
turns truths into myths.

      How do you explain,
      awakening,
      to a memory never known.
      How do you explain,
      awakening, awakening.

Ketamine dreams,
induced narcoleptic nightmares,
poles of northern impulses,
and southern stupors.

My equator's equilibrium,
and my catatonic control,
each one in the same,
yet far from reach.

A squeeze of a lime,
its fresh sour scent,
atop three fingers of gin,
match the burn of my cuts,
and i feel once again.

Cocktail straws set aside,
stirring fingers dull discomfort after a lick,
"three more limes please, barkeep",
it's now triple the pain i seek,
tolerance & your fickle itch.

Sketching surveys of desolate dreams,
purveyors of private property plots,
their impatient greed,
ignoring purple spray paint warnings.

Six feet under, resting next to Grandpa's coffin,
live valuable minerals, their rights forgotten,
a farmer of soy beans, wheat and corn,
oil & gas law to Grandpa was foreign,
but he knew why our creek's current flowed north,
upwards, defying gravity or reason, why these men had come.

One time executive cowboy hats descended on the farm,
in pickup trucks, just purchased from an oil lot in Odessa,
Grandpa took aim and raised his Beretta,
their unfit hats lost to the blast, the only harm.

I was only five, when I saw his lengths of protection,
he took me on hunts for deer, boar, quail, dove,
would always aim his rifle, fire and miss,
blamed it on his eye sight, yet hit bullseyes on paper targets.

It took me 20 years to understand why, with swallowed pride,
he purposely missed killing these animals,
cursing his eyesight instead, winning an Oscar for his humble acts,
was he blinding me from death?

There was no vision impairment, I found out in hindsight,
probably the trauma witnessed, as he died with 20/20 eyesight.

tired of you dancin,' with somebody else,
our mirror's vision, refelcts somebody else,
fires burning, what the *******,
your desires live, on rancid shelves.

thank you for my tilted dreams,
as desperate elbows fall,
the way my corner leans.

thank you for waves that come and get,
my undertow,
the things i can't admit.

buried words lying to your waist,
your quicksand stomach,
some things i can't embrace.

better hurry, save your face,
your lit cigarette,
smokes like the ace of spades.

feed the trip,
       conduct amends,
take these pills,
       undress your sins,
fake the real,
       it's just the tip,
corner pocket,
       my eight ball's lens.

so tired of you dancin' with somebody else.

Narrow escapes never mind this week of infamy,
emotions boiled over and evaporated,
their singe screeching over ousted flames,
the kettle screams in B flat, desperate for attention,
cattle calls draw the milk in.

Prior to our divorce, the echo chamber,
a blazed path of scorched earth where a mistletoe once grew;
I will admit, my mate was a sheep in wolf's clothing and I the opposite, an inside out porcupine.
We use to joke about it over a couple glasses of wine,
until our second therapy session, the grapes smelled sullen
and the joke was pronounced dead on arrival.  

I am one to never quit: a job, a duty, yet the car was totaled,
having just installed our toddler's seat, my hand was forced.
Holidays apart, a decade of predetermined calendars,
"every others", now omnipresent words
scrolled into our patchwork speech patterns.

It was a Thursday morning, extra early, for me at least,
when I discovered my wife's "extramarital affair".
Something the lawyers like to call it, doesn't soften the blow though,
it's not like say, taking steroids, counting cards or
drinking vinegar to pass a **** test.

Merely thinking back renders my breath useless, vision impaired,
while that car wrecks at the same high speed as my heart thumps.
Allstate, just write the entire ******* check out to cash, I'm bare,
this fate was All my fault; apparently I lost her along the way.

Easier to do nowadays with what, say everything nowadays.
Haven't gotten to the part where I,
"allegedly attempted assault", on her new lover.
I must wait for two inks to dry before divulging that burnt dirt:
one on our old divorce decree, but more importantly,
the other on her new marriage license.
FIN to be CONTINUED.