You long for us to look back
Upon Your great love
The mercy You have shown us
And Your covenant of freedom
Your shield surrounds us
As we mourn and weep
Silently remembering
The hands and feet
Once bowed before
And anointed with oil
Now covered in blood
And like your clothes, soiled
You hang there, a victim
Of humanity’s curse
You pay for the ones
Who have sinned since their birth
Your head bows low, weary
As once ours did for You
And Your brow bleeds from the
thorny crown that marks Your abuse
Your feet bound and broken
With Your arms stretched out
You carry every burden
As we scream and shout  
Shaking our fists
At the Innocent Lamb
”Blasphemous! Hypocrite!”
While you take the punishment of man
You sigh with a grieved spirit
As you bleed out from the holes
And our words continue taunting
Your meek, martyred soul
They echo in Your ears
Our sins final, black “amen”
And Your eyes fill with tears
As you whisper: “Father, forgive them.”
Your scarlet blood seeps down
And touches our ***** feet
Yet still we want more
Crave a delicious defeat
We use You as our mockery
Our Canvas to paint
Our faces filled with scorn and guilt
As we use You as bait
You are like a Lamb
Led silently to the slaughter
And now You hang there
Mourning for Your sons and daughters
Your goodness was shown
In the works You did
Healing the lame, the blind
The ***** and the sick
You brought the dead to Life
Yet we doubted still
Your ability to cleanse us
From the bleak, deadly chill
And, now scanning the crowd
Your eyes fall on mine
But I turn away, guilty
For my rage and defiance
But instead of the hatred
I think the eyes will bring
They are filled with love and grace
Overflowing like a Dayspring
And my spirit is lifted
As my eyes meet the One
Who has suffered for me
While I scorn His gentle love
And His eyes, sharp and piercing
Bring fear to my heart
For who could stand persecution
And still forgive the scars?
Who could hang there looking
At the ones who cause Him pain
And have nothing against them
Not desiring to cause shame?
I am shocked as I return
My gaze once again
And find You’re still looking at me
Your eyes have not left
The love has not ceased
The blood has not stopped flowing
Now pooled at my feet
It’s red radiance, glowing
I gaze down and discover
A golden chalice in my hand
And looking around me there are none
All the others have left
And then You speak Your first words
To me on that cross:
“Drink, child,” You call
“For all is not lost.”
I am shocked at the words
But I kneel in the dirt
Fill my cup to the brim
With the liquid rebirth
I look doubtfully at the cup
And then back at You
You nod for me to do
What You have asked me to
But I shake my head violently
And form the words in my mind
“I cannot accept this offering
My own way I will find.
He has already done
Far too much for me now
And I cannot repay Him.”
So I pour it out
On the dirt it splatters
And makes pathways in the mud
But I look up and His face
Is now grieved for His love
“Child, for this you do not pay.”
And He implores me with His eyes
To try once again to accept
The free gift He supplies.
I shake my head in disbelief
“But, how can this be?
For I have never done anything
To make you love me.”
And still His eyes search me
Waiting for my choice
As I struggle within
And listen again for His voice
But now it is silent
As all Heaven gazes down
The earth holds its breath
The blood thickly coats the ground
I am crushed by the weight
Of this glorious reality
That although I deserve nothing
Still this Stranger gives it all to me?
“I do not know You,” I stammer
“But I do know one thing.
All my life, no one has ever
loved like You love me.”
So I crumble with the weight
Of this realization
And dip the burning gold chalice
Into the crimson oasis
I kneel on one knee
Lift the cup to my lips
And as I drain its contents
He speaks softly: “It is finished.”
Now He takes a deep breath
His body shudders and sighs
And as I watch, trembling
My Savior peacefully dies
I have no words to speak
But the warmth of the blood
Fills my veins with a strength
That I know is His love
And the tears fall silently in the dirt
And mingle with the Red
As I stare at my Lord’s broken body
And think of how He bled
And now every day
I cannot help thinking
Of the death that He died
And the tomb He left singing
And because of the blood
My Lord’s suffering is ended
And His hands pull me in
To the glory of Heaven
I remember His words
Resounding in front of me:
“Drink My blood, poured out for your worth.
Do this in remembrance of Me.”

I don't know where to start
I thought I was done
Being distant, pushing down my feelings
Till they're non-existent

But they're never truly gone, are they?
They're always there, waiting to pounce
For the second when my guard is down
To drain my joy, every ounce

"Take me away from reality, please," I beg
But it turns out reality is just what I need

The further I draw away from my emotions
The louder my heart cries out for forgiveness
For a taste of what's real
A taste of holiness

I'm so sick of feeling
Like my problems are small
For I tell myself it's selfish
To get weighed down by them all

And maybe that's true, and I'm partially right
But it doesn't change the fact that because of it
My days aren't as bright
And my burden's no more light

This mess of confusing feelings
It's all I can do not to scream
To stamp my feet in frustration
Like a child learning what "no" means

This feeling of fulfillment
Yet dissatisfaction
A fear of tomorrow
Yet knowing tomorrow will be just a fraction

Of this life that I must bear
All deserve more from me
Yet no one deserves anything
And certainly not the mercy we all share

"God, why do you love me?" I constantly ask
"For there is nothing desirable in me to grasp."
"Because child, I made you," You say with a smile
"You're my daughter, my friend, though your thoughts may run wild.

I made you to be like this
Although it is painful
For life is a battle
You're among demons and angels

Little do you know, child, of the war going on
For you've only seen a fraction of his army of pawns
There are shadows around you, some of dark and some of light
And you simply wouldn't be able to bear the sight

I've protected your soul from the darkness outside
You're embraced in my arms, it's the place you reside
And although you may face challenge black as the night
Just think of my love, the things I have not allowed in your life

For my hand is upon you, guarding your heart
Your mind is my own, it has been from the start
And though you'll have to face them and go out once more
And though you may come back from the battle sore

You will learn, my daughter, that this is not disaster
It is not permanent turmoil, for it's your heart that I'm after
So do not worry about the day or the night
For where you go I will go, to be a shield and a light."

There once was a girl
Who lived in a dark cavern
Far under the ground
Was this destitute tavern

And inside the cavern
All over the walls
Were tall, glassy mirrors
When she spoke, they answered her calls

"Who am ?" she asked
As desperate as could be
"A sinner," they replied
"This is your reality.

You've made the wrong choices
I'm sorry, my dear,
But the guilt you've obtained
We can see, crystal clear.

From being ignored, to
The lies, and the pain,
It's so easy to see
A sorrowful heart is all you've gained."

As the girl looked into the mirrors
She began to believe
"No one appreciates my efforts,
They aren't worth while, no one listens to me."

And the mirrors around her
Reflected the pain in her face
The dark thoughts she had
She could never erase

And as the girl stood there
Day in and day out
Staring at her reflection
She started to doubt

The pain she was feeling
From friends, family, and sin
Was weighing her spirit down
Her patience began to wear thin

And each day her anger
And disbelief grew
But she hid her true feelings under a cloak
So the next thing she knew

Another weight was added to the cape
This one a venomous snake
That draped around her neck
And wouldn't let her escape

It stayed with her for a while
Weighing her down with a mischievous smile
And one day decided to take a bite
And she didn't even try to put up a fight

Now don't get me wrong
She forgave the sweet snake
But little did she know
She still carried the weight

And when she experienced
Others negativity
It simply wove it's yellow thread
Into the cloak's haunting tapestry

Did she hide the cloak? No
But she let people see
The hurt she experienced
To gain their sympathy

But she never revealed
The hidden message of the silk
So the hurt wouldn’t spread
The colors wouldn't bleed

"If people don't appreciate me
For what I do for them
Maybe they'll appreciate me
When they see where I've been!"

So she showed off her sorrow
But put on a brave face
Whenever someone asked her
If she was okay

She didn't know why
But she showed her emotions
Only to shut people out
When they wanted to be let in

And each time she experienced
Another's criticism or complaints
She turned away, hurt,
But kept making mistakes

"I don't want to weigh people down," she would say
"For my problems are small."
And because of this mindset
She carried them all

So her cloak got more heavy
And the hurt cut more deep
But she tried to keep her head up
Although she was afraid to speak

"God forgives me," she said
"But I can't forgive myself.
Lord, help me out of this place,
And out of this mirrored cell!"

For her focus was on herself,
Though she tried to look up
Her cloak weighing her down,
Her own strength could never be enough

And as the days passed
The guilt weighed on her so
The shame pinning her down
And not letting her go

"It hurts so much, Father,"
she said, day after day
"It's too much. My heart can't take it,
Please make it go away!"

And she begged and she pleaded
Until she was on her knees
And lowering herself she found
She could clearly see

A weak stranger in the mirror
More broken than she knew
And as she looked in her tear filled eyes
She saw the mirror was broken, too

The image of her innocence
Now seemingly damaged beyond repair
And as she stared into the glass
She no longer recognized the girl kneeling there

"How can you forgive me, Lord?
I don't even see myself!
For this is not the innocent child
I used to know so well."

Her iniquities sewn on the cloak around her,
But she didn't take it off
"If I must live with this sin on my cloak
I should get used to the feeling of its cloth."

So she continued to trudge along
Day in and day out
Blaming herself for things
Afraid of opening her mouth

The hurt stacked up and up
Till she began to scream
Her reflection in the mirrors
Not what she meant it to be

"I cannot seem to stop
This hurt inside of me
Father, what can I do?
I can no longer see!"

She begged for forgiveness
Till her throat was dirt dry
And the days, going quickly, yet painfully
Passed by

She was so ashamed
And even when she read scripture
She couldn't shake the feeling
That had now gripped her

But with time the Lord's mercy
Guided her soul
To places of peace and comfort
Where He showed her the goal

"This is meant for you child," He said
"To learn and to grow.
For you cannot be prepared for the world
Without learning to let go

For you are holding onto something
I could've taken long ago
I love you, my precious one
Far more than you know

Your purity is not forever marred
For I can make you white as snow
Come to me, young one, heavy laden
For here green pastures grow

Come, drink of the waters of healing
Wash in the pool of forgiveness
And when you look into the still river
You'll see the reflection of innocence

My heart breaks to see yours broken, child
And that will never change
For as I'm looking down at you
I see what beauty I have made

There's nothing that can separate you
From my unfailing love
And as you take the unwise path
I'm healing you from above

I AM the reason you're still here
I AM the peace you seek
In me you shall find your everything, for
I AM choosing you to teach.

Your worth is not now any less
Than when you first awoke
Look up, my daughter, and you will see
LOOK UP, TAKE OFF YOUR CLOAK."

And as she looked into the mirror
The image began to clear
Her eyes were opened then, to see
The child He held so dear

And as she stood up, her cloak fell off
And crumpled on the ground
She started to see the meaning of the trial
At last she was longer bound

The fog in her eyes began to break
And the light shone through again
And as the time passed by
She found she was no longer where she had been

For the dark cavern around her
Had faded into blue
She saw the clear sky once again
And saw the girl she once knew

"Thank you Lord, for growing me," she whispered
"For showing me what your love means.
For teaching me that without you I am nothing
That your strength is what I need

I am weak, frail, and pitiful
But you are strong, mighty, and capable
There's nothing I've done that cannot be erased
Nothing done to me that won't be abased

You've humbled me to breaking point
And for that I'm so grateful
For if I had not gone through this
I wouldn't truly see you're able

To wash away my sins
As you've wiped away my tears
To bring me out of darkness
And vanquish all my fears

To pour out a mercy that I didn't understand
To show me that I was still inside of your hands
To guide me through hardship and tragedy
Because you wanted to tell me that you loved me."

And as the girl looked up
Her Father smiled down
She knew again by that weight
She'd no longer be bound

The prize was worth the cost
For the grace to abound
For once she was lost
But now, she is found.