It never stops
my greatest mistakes
my biggest dreams
always running
never stopping

I can't stop it
I can't sleep
I wish to dream

What guilt will
I fell tonight
What dreams
will I never achieve

From one idea
to the next

fidgeting
never laying still

Always running through
My brain

Never tiring
Never sleeping

Why wouldn't they
Shut Up
I can't make them
Shut Up
Turn it off
Never stopping

Please
Make it stop

The Smell of Pine
The Warmth of a Breeze
The Feeling of Grass tickling my fingers
The Sound of Nothing
Brings me contentment

For a moment
a brief fleeting second
There is no frown
no reason to smile
no reason to worry
no reason to relax

Because I am
here

and it is now

I use to dream of us
Because it was all so possible
All you had to do is notice me
Because then we would fall in love

We could have our first date
Our first kiss
I planned our wedding
Every detail
From the colour of my suit
To match your eyes
To the colour of the napkins
Light blue
Same as your eyes

I dreamt about you at the beach
Your blond hair moving with the wind
Your face as you looked out at the ocean
The face of curiosity
The way your eyes brows move closer
When you wonder
I dreamt about you at home
Laying in the couch watching TV
Your smile shining bright as you laugh
Your in your comfy clothes that only I see
I dreamt about going on date
Your eyes filled with worry
The blue like liquid topaz

Your eyes are my favourite colour
Blue
The only time I’ve ever seen anything like them
was the sky in Australia
When there were no clouds
Not one and the sun was behind me
Just blue sky for miles
the perfect blue
I laid down and stared
Wishing for things untold
Making me feel loved

If only you had noticed me
If only I have said something
Then he was gone
He didn’t even know
He left his biggest love
Dreaming of what would of been

I remember the first time
Our skin touched

It was a 6th-grade English class
I leaned back on you
My arm brushed against your leg
And my body felt on fire
I crave the warmth from which you gave me
At first, I didn't realise it was love
I needed more
You are my addiction
As the years flew past
I took every opportunity I could
To see your skin
I've seen your ups and your downs
and I've never seen an ugly side
I've seen you beat yourself for being not perfect
But if you could see yourself the way I do
You would never worry again
I have felt the fire of your skin since then
So many times and I loved every moment
When I fell asleep on your shoulder
When I grabbed your arm
When I put my hand on yours

I remember the last time we touched
You ruffled my hair
and I longed for more

You pushed me down
I got up
You pushed me down
I got up
You pushed me down
I got up
You pushed me down
I bent
As hard as you tried to break me
Even with those rotten hands
You couldn't keep me down
You think you've won
Like all those times before
But I'm not like all your other
Victims
I'm bent not broken
I have a problem
I don't know when to give up
I pushed you down
You Broke

A mistake
Was all it took
My Friends ran
My family screaming at me
I made one mistake
Not two
One
Now I have to pay the price
I lost everything for
One
Thing

In the world
The price for
ONE
Mistake
Is
Everything.

Why
Did you have to be so ******* talented
The way you walked showed your swagger
The confidence the happiness
I could watch you walk all day

The way you smile
For years I thought you practised
Because a glimpse was all I needed
Before my heart melted for you

I've seen you playing games
The perfectness
The way you seem to never lose
How your eyebrows centre and
your forehead wrinkles
It seems my eyes are trained on you

You look so **** good
all the time
I've seen you grow
As has my love

My eyes may only see you
But your eyes only see them

Age 10
I went to sleep across the hall, eyelids heavy and dreams in my brain.
While across the hall my mum was murdered in her sleep

Age 11
I never slept

Age 12
Learned to sleep again

Age 13
Learned to be suspicious of every sound I heard, the creek of a stair keeping me awake till dawn

Age 14
Thought of all escape routes from the room for when they came back

Age 15
Thought of all the ways to **** a man with my school grade scissors

Summer of 16
I spent hours trying to lift things with my mind, trying to control the breeze with a flip of my hand and each night I prayed tomorrow would be the day that I found my superpower.

Do you want to know why it was so incredible because I learnt to smile again because for the first time my thoughts going to sleep weren't about how I was going to die but about how I was going to live.