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The name I made for myself.

It took me years of patience and effort, and I never spared a single moment for myself alone.

I had always relied on this goal of mine, a dream worth sacrificing myself for.

And then one day, it's all gone.

I'm forced away, hearts unsynced, and although it's also been a while, my heart remains shattered.

Because I realized that I'll have to go to sleep, and dream.

Being awake and dreaming at the same time is impossible, isn't it?

Because it had always been the name I once made for myself.
 May 8 Vianne Lior
ok okay
The sky is a collage of asymmetries
Dyed with rose
Spotted with lavender
scattershot with white fluff
The impending grey is yet to arrive
The luminous moon has come early
Calling
Longing
I fall
My eyes hypnotized by the sky
Above the horizon
A canopy      
          So dark
Words cannot separate

Even when in
      Negative image

The single full stop
                              Of a moon
             Gives nothing away
Dreams bloom from the sunny sunflowers
Fragrant in their wake, a burst of colours
Rain sprinkled
A canvas, ready to be framed
Nurtured in the streams, by rivers and lakes
Questions none
who harboured them
Or how many
 May 7 Vianne Lior
Birdie
I don’t believe in heaven
But if I somehow did
I know you’d be there waiting for me
How you were back when you lived
I don’t believe in heaven
But if I went there I would see
Four little furry faces
So happy to see me
I don’t believe in heaven but
Sometimes I wish I could
If you had ever spoken I think
You’d say that I should
Because
The closest I’ve been to heaven
Was being loved by you
The innocent love from pets now lost
Is the truest love it’s true
My mother was always a better singer
                                than she was a cook.

She may have burnt a lot of things but
                              never missed a note,
         especially when Harry Belafonte
came on the transistor kitchen radio-
a voice so pure it made her cry with joy.

“There’s a hole in the bucket dear Liza,
                                                     dear Liza,”
                         he sang echoing her past,
                                                 the divorce,
                         her humbling present life.

The duet had the reply she wanted to say
to everything and sing it like Odetta--
                             “Well fix it, dear Henry
                                                 dear Henry,
                                                          fix it.”

It was her kitchen cooking song and
           and we would sing it together
            when Harry wasn’t on the air.

We sang it so often,
                                  switching voices.
                                      that I believed
                         she could fix anything
                                     and I could too.    

When we got to the fortieth line
                the meatloaf was burnt
                                              on top.

I ate it all with a lot of ketchup.
She just cut off the burnt part
                and fed it to the dog.

My sister,
                             two brothers
                              and stepdad
                             ate it quietly,
                        building up a lot
                                         of bad
                 meatloaf memories.

All the other kids had
                          their own songs
                that she sang to them
                                but she sang
                                               only
                         Belafonte to me.  

“Daylight come and me wan' go home,”
                    she sang to me in a whisper
                   before kissing me goodnight.

Calypso more than Salsa echoed
                            her Boricua pride,
                 the youngest of thirteen,
            yet never born to the island.

“Midnight come  and she wan’ go home,”
I sang to her open casket 22 years later,
                              kissing her on the head,
                      taking the hole in the bucket,
                                     along with Belafonte
                                                   to the future.
I heard your trees both screaming
          As your cack-handed garden workers
    Fired up their vicious, howling saws
                  To start a massacre that no tree could survive.

      I saw the shards of leaves and wood
  Flying off in all directions
               As the lifeblood of the trees
                               Oozed into the gravel just below

                 And before long it grew very silent -
   Only whispered echoes of the screams
           Floated high above the barren wasteland
That is now a yard with nothing in it green.
                    ljm
Big rocks on the stumps can’t hide the shameful crime perpetuated callously against the neighborhood and Mother Nature.
(It was such a pretty yard, too)
Sometimes
Give the poems in your head
Some rest.

Don't write them on,
Write them off.

Internally arrange a funeral
Bid them farewell
Give them an unceremonious burial.

The rising poem won't complain
They know well your anguish and pain.

The labour you go through birthing them
Shape their body, give a name
They would understand.

Failed poems are not as arrogant
As the birthed ones.

They too are weary pounding your head
Making holes in your soul
They would rather rest than be born.

Sometimes
They deserve rest.

Let them float away to a place
Where they find peace
And will not be missed.
~
Precious Padma
You dearest aquatic flower
You grew in murky waters
Unblemished by its impurity
But come they did
To ****** your petals
And leave you a burning stem
Never can they take from you
The spirit of your plainsong
It continues to grow in your sisters
And in a time and season so near
They will sing your hymn
As one substantial voice
The changing winds will then
Lift it higher

~
On Thursday, December 5, 2019, a 23-year-old **** victim from Unnao, India was seized by five men, including the two people she had named in her previous complaint to the police, and beaten, stabbed and set on fire. Still ablaze, she walked nearly a mile, seeking help before finally calling the police herself. She later died in a New Delhi hospital, prompting protests of violence against women.
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