"The smell of earth
The feeling of sand
The gentle touch of the sun
I long for the hum of your warmth
Weep for the thought of our lust
For whom does this world belong
We abuse of it
Smother it
Concealed by its every morning
As dense as the cloud, as weak as your spirit
The mountains still crave your sound
The sky still crave your look"

by 9898xx

Take my breath away
Shake the ground beneath my feet
Let the earth swallow me alive
I want to sink inside so deep
I am split between moments
Stuck between the cracks
made inside time

             Un corps ici

                                         Une âme là-bas

Une tête ailleurs

                         Et des pensées nulle part

And just like that
Moments are no more
And memories are forevermore
Inside an oblivious mind
There but not there
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to be
I don't know who to be
¿Que Voy a Hacer?
It's not like I want to run away
But I so don't want be here

"Always become the one being hurt
Rather than ever hurting another"
Words I have strived to live by
The philosophy left by my mother

I've always tried to live my life
Standing up for what is right
Helping others no matter the cost
Being everyone's shining knight

What a horrible way to live

Even when I was on the verge of breaking
Even when the burden seemed too large
I always took it onto myself
And it was always free of charge

They all need to pay

But lately there is this voice
Echoing from the back of my mind
That is always fighting to take over
It wants to punish the unkind

Maybe I don't want to forgive

Tell me who is that inside me
Those thoughts can't be my own
Even when there's no one around
Somehow I am not alone

Just let me come out and play

I'm trying to keep it at bay
Am I past the point of no return?
I JUST WANT THE VOICE TO GO AWAY
But.... *Now....it's my turn

Broken in repetitions 
Lying stagnant in defeat 
It's only been one girl
But my heart's barely breathing
 It took me years to love again
It's not that easy to just say hi or hey
Not just any girl to fall in dismay
The heart's recovering from the past pain

I wish it would hurry up,
I wish time would run its course,
my mind has become detached,
and my heart I wish to divorce.
this pain is ebbing away,
in the dark depths of my soul,
it is not so easy to fill a gap,
when all that is left is a hole.

Pushing away every viable ardor
Beats of fragments danced in my head
Every girl that came with open arms
Lure me with expectations that never seem to last
Those sweet nothings will gave me infinite hope of catching feelings
Always shutting the door and locking it.

But this door can only stay locked for so long,
I've lost sight of what is right and what is wrong,
such expectations have destroyed me helplessly,
I've been choking on my pain, breathlessly.
when they came around, I was full of vitality,
and now they're gone, I've been living rather absently*.

I finally realized why I reach for a sound button when I'm all alone
Its something I started doing
I've seen my father do it day after day
In the silence
We reach for a sound button
*To turn down the voices in our heads

Its A new year
And I still hate myself
Its a new year
And I still have mental illness
Its a new year
And I'm still an addict
Its a new year

*And I still love you