Addiction
     never ends,
          temptation and sin.

Consumption,
     and then I’m lost.

Drowning,
     floundering,
          gasping for air.

Count the days
     until I feel alright again.

But my addiction
     betrays me
          and with one glance
               at a shard of glass
                    I relapse.
23 times—
     a redemption to make up for
          time lost.

I’m so afraid to tell her I love her
so I only do it when I’m drunk,
or we’re drunk together
and still the words nervously tremble
they shake like orange leaves in autumn
and the wind doesn’t carry them
they just fall, quietly and unnoticed
becoming just a nuisance
to later be packed
into black plastic bags
and thrown to the curb.

You’re the meteor shower I stay awake all night for.

Bury the satire under pillows and sheets,
Why is this me?
Why is this me?
I keep reading the stories of older women who will someday be me,
Why can't I see?
Why can't I see?
In the glasses I fill with wine,
In the rooms that smell of pine,
The cheek that's touching mine,
When will I be?
When will I be?
I am thinking all alone
Calling strangers on the phone
"Hey it's me. It's me. Hello?"
I am reaping what I've sown,
Why is this me?
Why is this me?

I can’t remember
As I walk through memory lane
So many beautiful moments
But always incomplete without you
Looking for the other half
There is a silent void
They don’t match up anymore
And bear no meaning today
Once a dream that was true
Deep within it felt like eternity
Can’t seem to relate to them today
Staring at the unfinished dream
Insides scream, to call you back
It’s an incomplete existence
I have to carry on with this journey
Finally, time will say the final end
Till that time I am trapped within me

The promise
of tonight
stirs within

Let it
soon
begin