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 Jul 2015 Tuesday Pixie
ZWS
Call it a catch-22, cause I've caught catharsis, and my conch shell has run out of clues
I've been eating away the cost of everything I pick and choose
Why is the coast so blurry, every time I'm taking my midday cruise
Trying to metabolize my surroundings, but all the people around me are just empty calories, even the closest few

They're all cheap, cheeky, circuited *****
That's why I've trained myself to be calloused, bruised, collected, and blunt
But you cannot make yourself all that you want to become
You can only intend, to spend, your chronic currency to coherence
I burn my pockets so I don't have to carry your candle
I'd rather be illuminescently bent, then hiding my head beneath a tent
With your boyscout projects, and afro-engineered beligerence
But I will be your calm cashier, I will take your money if you need to conquer your fears
And I do concur, slur your slew of words, I know you're just holding back the real tears
Beneath that cartoon cardigan and cyan crew
You're the carpenter, you didn't have to just paint every part of your body in denial and blue

I know you are the way you are, you don't choose
Somewhere deep in my cynical carcass I know you don't have to choose
Sometimes it's not what you choose
But sometimes it's who

Look deep in the culture of narcissism
You cocky carpenter, you have more purpose then simple cytogeny
Cut into your carcass and pull out something new
 Jul 2015 Tuesday Pixie
ZWS
Garland hair, garland noose
Day dream, catcher of faith
Where are you looking when your eyes are everywhere?

Disconnect, in cinematic discontent
Fill up the fever moon
With your widened gaze
Where you draw your lines
With your starlet guise
Where you break free of your ties

Take me there, take me there
Platonic figurine, you are my shrine
My faith artillery
Take me there, where its floral
I am to be choked by your noose
The pews are full, the church foyers echo
With passing lights, glow through the corridor
So radiant I could never oblige

Take me there, where its floral
You're so radiant I could never oblige
You are not to be my bride
I will watch you from a distance
I am choked by you
I will hang in your shadow
I cannot say words, I cannot breath in the dark
 Jun 2015 Tuesday Pixie
Tea
solace
 Jun 2015 Tuesday Pixie
Tea
and I am prepared to walk
through the fire alone;

but I would find comfort
if you walked by my side.
"I don't need you, but I really ******* want you."
Perhaps we don't need each other to stay alive, but life would be so much better with you by my side.
 Jun 2015 Tuesday Pixie
ZWS
Some want to be saved
But opt out of immortality
Maybe that's why God's economy
Runs on love scarcity
 Jun 2015 Tuesday Pixie
ZWS
Bar politicians and hobo drawers
This town smells like bad history
Oh mother cancer you're growing on me
You're my favorite stock holmes disease

Everything was a breeze, when the earth was spinning for me
Till the coriolis changed its pace, and the horizon seemed constant
Never to be touched by me
Something to reach for, but never to see

Spare me your sympathetic tendencies
I'm sick of replacing me with please
And acting like every want is a need
When happiness is just a mirage
Good thing I don't have a car
Because I'm using that garage to store all my old memories

A box full of unanswerables stacked up on top of my anxiety
On top of the box full of the blood and tears I bleed
And the forgotten hypocrisies under my apocryphal tendencies
Next to the karaoke machine that screams infidelity
How far back do I need to hide those suppressed memories for them to never surface again
What's the point if the boxes are transparent?
And I want to tell her that I understand
what it feels like to be fake, insignificant,
and a shadow on the sidewalk of society.

And I want to tell her that I also borrow
the experiences of others --
that I, too, learn feelings
by stopping and staring at personal wreckage,
like a tourist of emotions,
like an inevitable wish of a human being.
Her ribs crackled, in the skeleton night.
And I remember my mouth on hers,
where atomic fish hooks attached our lips.
Where there was nothing like kissing
like our God wasn't dead.

She was accused of killing a taxi driver
in the Brazilian underbelly.
Smoking a cigarette, she dropped it on the ground,
spat on it, and crushed it with her bare foot,
saying she fell in love with the way
his sleep-drenched body lay.

And I told her to stay home.
And I told her that they'd find her.
But she didn't stay home.
And they did find her.

Chasing her through the Babylon brush,
insults were thrown and so were balloons of gasoline.
Each pink, yellow, and green vessel floated in the air, as an internal opera heightened.
And sour splashes spread across her body,
as she fled from the vigilante mob.

The children danced along the panoramic horizon she ran beside,
laughing, pointing, singing.
The slumbering sorrow of the situation became evident,
and she started to feel the calm of fleeting life.

Her dreams aborted and her ideals became fallacies,
and with the sound of fuzzy motors in the background, her heart leapt and her feet slipped.

Rope ate into her, wrapping her like the orphaned recklessness of each set of eyes that painted her.
She squirmed amongst the cheers.
She cried with every thrown beer and balloon.
The empty-eyed males gang ***** her.
The women covered the children's eyes,
and the children tried to move their mothers' hands.

And I pushed my way through the crowd.
And I saw her smothered in blood, beer, and gasoline.
I wanted to halt the hurricane that destroyed morality.
But I am a coward.
Frozen by my fear, I, too, am a murderer.
And a murderer I'll always be,
for the burning of all that was good.

Sudden flames soared towards the sky.
Laughter escaped as molotov cocktails exploded onto her body.
Her head turned towards the crowd,
as flames scampered across her face.
I saw in her, what I never saw before,
which was the human race.
a woman
appreciates a man
that can penetrate
her mind
deeper than her body.
 Jun 2015 Tuesday Pixie
ZWS
I wish you'd make me do everything you didn't want to do
I wish you'd boo at everything I tried to do
You can be the audience, I'll be the fool
Because I want to fall in love with you

I want you to hurt me
I want you to stain my sheets and I want you to sue me
I want a divorce, I want to feel blues
Cancel your plans, we've got some misery to do

We can do it like my parents did
We can stay together for the kids, but I know we'll lose
I don't care what you choose, I don't care what you do
Because I want to fall in love with you

How many more clues do I have to give you
Destroy me, destroy you
Let's fall into love like skydivers with no parachutes
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