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a former convict,
a thief,
who was imprisoned
once,
upon release
called me a
'garbaty anioł',
i.e. a hunchback angel;
the weight of wings
too heavy, like the globe
for atlas;
i gave him money and
cigarettes,
and we had the genesis of philosophy
talked as chaos around us ensued;
paweł.
it's too boring to be simply up to no good
vanilla skin and ashen lips, shaking hands
sly, slender nostrils that started drip wine again
convinced she's not a person without him

when she laughs that cool laugh
these straight lines that keep her
coiled and uncoiling again
she smells like absolut and lust, cheap perfume
He is addicted and when it’s bad, it’s bad.
He makes me miss our memories we once had.
He used to be my hero, a hero who now has gone mad.
He is now occupied by a bleak and depressing habit.
But the help is in his reach, he just simply has to grab it.

Mom tries so hard to believe all of his lies.
She still sees her son behind those blood shot eyes.
But when I look at him, my eyes are only filled with despise.
He has hurt her, both physically and mentally.
It makes me so sad and angry, but it also helped strengthen me.

I could see his body and mind were drowning in decay.
But he wouldn’t even listen to a single word I had to say.
Those close around me tell me it’s going to be okay, just pray.
But what will it help him, if I pray to a God I don’t believe in?
Even if the almighty cared to listen, I don’t think he could cure him.

I was so ashamed of him, ashamed of what he had become.
But now I am no longer feeling ashamed, because I’m completely numb.
He abused his second chance, what’s done can’t be undone.
People make mistakes, that’s why when we fall we learn to pick ourselves up.
But instead of rising, he keeps on falling, landing in the same spot.

I still remember the days when I wanted him dead.
His whole existence annoyed me so much that I wanted to fled.
He doesn’t know how sad I was, how many silent tears I have shed.
I love him, but I fear his habit one day will him smother.
Because this is only the empty shell of what used to be my brother.
No words do this just
It shall remain underwritten
But to sum it all up;
Darling, I'm smitten
Inspired by this lovely holiday.
Here she lies, a pretty bud,
Lately made of flesh and blood:
Who as soon fell fast asleep
As her little eyes did peep.
Give her strewings, but not stir
The earth that lightly covers her.
If I die
turned hard and cold
not given a chance to grow so old
Bury me not
six feet down the ground
For I won't hear
no susurrus
no sound

If I die
pale and lifeless,
no more failing
on life's test
Burn me not to ashes,
I'll leave no trace
Keep me in mind
not in a vase

If I die
lying in my coffin
a candle lit night
a lot of people staring,
cry for me
but not for long
Be firm as my body
Be that strong

If I die
and years have passed
forget me not
please not that fast.
Remember
my name
and who I've been
Let me die
but not forgotten.
When that day comes, whose evening says I’m gone
Unto that watery desolation,
Devoutly to thy closet-gods then pray
That my wing’d ship may meet no remora.
Those deities which circum-walk the seas,
And look upon our dreadful passages,
Will from all dangers re-deliver me
For one drink-offering poured out by thee.
Mercy and truth live with thee! and forbear
(In my short absence) to unsluice a tear;
But yet for love’s sake let thy lips do this,
Give my dead picture one engendering kiss:
Work that to life, and let me ever dwell
In thy remembrance, Julia. So farewell.
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