I am aware
that the art is lost within me
these veins once gushing flares
desired to write the hurt and
paint the fun in red

In which the stars sang differently
and the calm at night prevails

Yet knowing they are just cruel
suns of chemical flames

For which the moon shone brighter
and the love for it unfades

where in darkness I look up and whisper
Oh wind! Can you hear me sing?

Lately, the poetry
my poetry is plain
and all I write is mere words of
deep emotions and events
knowing how faulty and unorganized
that I have lost a sumedth gain

Following this. I apologize
the art in me, it fade.

The person was deaf
from swooshing of the wind
and the melody from myths
never ceased to baffle them
all they see are elements
of mockery and fame
from people who cared
but left them in the end

The 14th track of a symphony
they learned to love to hate
started humming, ascending
into an orchestra of fate
they can only wonder
why it promised of bitter ends
when it is only music
meant to compensate

It sounded too ironic
that the person can't take stand
when the people that they trusted
wouldn't even lend a hand

and their words that made memories
that world where they were glad
it all is slowly vanishing
melting with the sun

some people would not value you
even if you offer life
importance is only given
to those they'd benefit from

and yes, I am disappointed
feeling used then trashed
I just wished I mattered
that they would understand

I too am, I am a person
That I too, get fed up

How can he expect that the world will treat him well
when he did all the doings that the wise man regret
for such a person he is, unloving, uncared
how can he wish that there be a different dawn to set

as he stands at the cliffs end, thinking for a wish
for the changes he can give, the one's he mistreated
as he stood in brave stance to take the leap ahead
nothing then mattered, nothing then made sense

As a friend I tried to stop him, to take a chance and live
but he smiled so genuine and a salute he then waved
as a friend, I stood there as I saw him spread his wings
now he is in heaven, the one I failed to save.

I don't want to touch the clouds
because they will be torn apart
I don't want to touch the clouds
to feel the calmness in my palms

I don't want to touch the clouds
.,
I want the clouds to touch me

I want to take the hat off
And then wave my goodbye.

I am a child with a suitcase,
A woman with a crane
Taking each step with little strength,
then falling over again

I am a child that ran over,
A man with no name
Helding my hands in the sky,
begging for the rain

I was the falling paper,
from the tree of neglect
Rushed with the wind,
heavied by water, loved by the pain

I became the small pebble
that talked to little grains
Ignored and dumbfounded
and stinged by bolts of gale

I went to take the hat off,
with a smile that never fade
Soon, I will take this hat off.
So long! To you my friend.

If you were mad then tell me
Lash your anger out
If you were sad then hear me
I'd give you my virtual hug
The frustrations you feel, let me
Be the comfort in your mind
And though I kept all the sorries
Let me worry for you, love

If I greet a good morning
I wished you're here to touch
But it never will lessen
My wish upon these stars
That you'd bid me the good night
And sleep with all you can
My little gift I have here
I'll give you half and half

Will my hunger be fed
when there's nothing I gave care
Not enough emotion to let me dwell within
The thirst for jurisdiction
for love and affection
They all seem to not possibly exist

The reasons attached in strings
that I tied my heart onto
Now a broken stationaire
with a bleeding soul in ropes
I watched the sun to fall.
Was it reality at fault?
Or my irregular recalls
of events that might be false

I just
I don't know anymore.

the calmness that I sought is gone
you remember i told you
your voice, it soothes me up
and I heard you say "hello", i smiled
it was with harshness and anger
but it's fine, I heard you once again
it was so fine
and then the call ended
now it hurts
how the voice I even dreamed of
sounds so hurried
to get away from my nonesense
I'm a mess, to hear you in sarcasm on
how we split and how i have no rights to ask for treats
a bit of your time is not for me
and words i spweded out
they don't make sense
I apologise that
I'm just regrets.

The curtains swayed the distance
And your laugh a little light
Her eyes slowly wandered
Why this room so vast and wide?

Do I end here in the sideways
Or do I walk in muddy plains
Do I take your time for granted
Did you want someone to blame?

Was I that awful lover
Was I that boring friend
You held my hand to cradle
How your blade tore my skin?

So I took a deep breather
Person,  you can go ahead
What I felt was immaculate
Will you set me free instead?

I'm tired of falling in love
This tingly feelings of
Butterflies in my mind
As the air I breathe hitches
When I see your pretty smile
To hear your lovely laugh
Your hand to hold in mine
This warmth to fill my heart

I'm tired of falling in love
Apologising all the time
Because I cannot make it all right
Thinking of the someday
When I will break my stupid heart
Exhausted of wanting more
To show you I work hard
To keep our love alive

I don't want it all, help me up
To stand from this ground
That gripped my feet to stuck
Telling me I'm grounded
But I should not move apart
From the mistakes and the failures
And wrong things in my past
That will lead me to a future
Full of bleeding and of scars

I'm tired of falling in love.

Me, the oathbreaker

I looked at the stars and named them, light, bright, spark, giggle
I throw a rock in the river and waited for the monster to come
I will call them carter, jake, scar, groomer
I touched the trees with magic and called it "iron twig", I laughed
With conviction I ran after the bug and called it by the name "bree"

Soon, my feet took me to a place, well lit with thunder blades
I called it "beauty", I stayed to the place and found peace
I changed the name to "home".. a beautiful home
The wizards from the nearby village gave me food, they were dressed in white and they brought with them tools

They never let me borrow the tools
And they stare at me with such scrutinizing eyes
They sometimes tries to drag me from my beautiful home
but I stayed, I always stay

One day I woke up and I am in a one-door-room
the wizards are injecting something to my body, I cannot move
what is happening? what is happening.
my home is gone and I'm detained
They kept looking like I was crazy and they injected me again

I fell asleep and dreamed of a nightmare
It was as if I have gone deranged
they put me inside a bulding that said
"Home for the Mentally Insane"

Never did I woke up again

For a little longer
I would shoot among the stars
The sturdiest of asteroids
Make an armor for you love

For a little longer
I'd be swimming in a park
That has the muddy waters
To fetch that little swan

For a little longer
It'd be a Christmas fun
And I would greet you, grumpy
With aims to make you laugh

For a little longer
I'll write another rhyme
That holds my dear valentine
And I'd still call you mine

For a little longer
If we held on so tight
I would be hearing your voice
And you'd say I love you back

If only a little longer
You let me in your life
Then on that little longer
I'd still be by your side.

Withering sounded fancy
Till my brain is what it is
Leaving is romaticizing
Till I hold my breathe to stay

Black was deemed so marvelous
Till I want some colored spray
When my clouds are never lighter
and my thoughts are loudly chained

I was never the good person
and I am not worth to keep
It always feel so strongly
how I'm so easy to replace

Give me pain, I can take it
Give me love, I'll delude it
Like the blade that I used
To cut my pity in pieces

Give me air to breathe in
Give me voice to scream it
The way memories drowned
Into little pebbled threads

Take my name to sing it
Take my tears to calm
For nothing I regret
I'd meet you once again

saying it makes my skin tingle
the back of my throat burns
bile comes shooting from the pit
of my stomach, till my mouth is bitter

I hate every inch of this body
and this mind that's too ticklish
it could pop, like a bubble
but stronger than a rock

all this haughty facade
is easily brittle, the blisters
seeping through my soul
and I bleed, an immortal

I work in progress-
but I am marked red,
unwanted by the gods
and rejected by the devil

My shadow love resents me for I hurt her so much
That she walks the gaping distance to a home she never had
Passing by coloured houses and trees of yellow limes
She breathed in the freezing air of the coldness in my heart
I gifted her the honesty of confession from my mouth
And the letters in arrangement made a story full of hearts
At the end of the sentence is the blood of a broken heart
But the pain that supposed to happen, it never really came
And I ask her the third time if it was really love
Maybe it is all just made up like the world I made of clouds
She said, "No, I am certain. I liked that little doll. ---
..But the pain turned to pleasure for my little paradise.."

I guess some love are meant to be broken
to patch the little cracks
My heart is now made up of metals
locked with its sacred scars.

Do you need my comfort, would you like some
the talks I give won't mock you
and I assure my warmth won't harm
I cannot bare to just stare at
when I see the rougness in your eyes
that when you stare through the mirror
the other part is saying goodbye

I can stay here with you in this moment
you can cry right in my arms
or you can stay in your space, me in mine
but let's sit here, hand in hand
I'd listen to your stories and the tales
and my support will be here to prevail

I can help you with comfort, just let me be
for your smile is the one thing I liked to see
here in this sanctuary, there's you and me
and though tomorrow you're leaving
I'll still stay in place, thinking
someday you'll come back and find me here
again.

People made me wonder
the blueness of a leaf
as it swung in different reasons
in a tree that is not his

for she thought the wind is better
from the top of the debris
but it was too strong to handle
that the color in it fade

into a pale and bare kindness
the twig's won't speak about
and we all sat around waiting
for the last leaf to give up

by the end of this summer
I pray to the one above
to let it rest, please, gently
as it falls into the ground.

is not known
I am temporary
for far too long

In the crook of my sanity
sat this poor little me
bereft of reason
naught of gold
one with the concrete
so cold and bold
not for wisdom
never for hope
full of wishes
for food and cloth
if I beg, will it stop?
if I cry, will I drop-
if I jump, will it be better?
and I could laugh
and cry
and tell them I am
still, still stuck there
now, better at hiding
full of warmth
from my blood sweater
sewn from shame
and disappointment
it never gets better
it only gets quiet
and you drown in silence
and acceptance,
that fate is this
it is meant to be.

If the question was easy
I would answer thee
But if the question is a challenge
Why would you bother me?

I'd keep this sanity.