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 Apr 2018 Siphumelele
Wind Lass
I dealt death today.

I know it’s a part of the job.
I know I’ve seen it too many times to count.
But today,
I felt it.

I left the room long after their family did.
There was no where I could go
To escape their

Roaring grief.

They were long gone.
And I was left with their precious baby.
I curled his arms and legs up
Closed his eyes
Wrapped him up gently.
With love and respect
Here he’ll sleep forever.

And oh,
They are so thankful,
That it was me
That I understood
That I was so careful
That I spent the time with them.

And you’re not supposed to take it with you.
You’re supposed to leave it
When they walk out the door
With one less goodbye.

But I took it with me today.

The way they felt before
The way they felt after
The long quiet goodbyes
The man in a suit on his knees weeping
The mother and son making a cocoon
Sheltering their dying baby.
The solemn face of the woman who plays god.
The green death.
The last breath.
The heaving of the living as he gave his last.
The waiting.
Slower rhythm.
Quieter.
‘He’s gone now’.

I watched the clock
The same way I had
An hour before
Waiting for death.

Soon as I could
I fled out the door
Ran into the street
Tried to outrun it

Instead I ran to you
I dialled your number
With shaking hands

I know I’m not supposed to
But all I wanted was you
Your voice

Ringing out
Thankfully
I wept alone.

Today I dealt death
And I found I am not strong enough
To sustain this
Alone
Or for long.

I found I still consider you my haven
Deep down
But that you are not my haven anymore
Or should be.

I listened to the silence
After the call rang out
And decided
What will I do when I hit the last straw? What becomes of me and my useless brain? This was too much today. I wish I didn’t want you. I’ve made an obsession out of you.
 Apr 2018 Siphumelele
Stephen S
Rage
 Apr 2018 Siphumelele
Stephen S
Meet the new neighbors, what a lovely young pair,
He in a pressed suit and her with long flowing hair.
They've got the white picket fence, they're living the life
but something's amiss with the cute smiling wife.

She carries a secret so awful, so deep,
A woman broken and bruised at the hands of a creep.
Kept in a basement, labeled as chattel,
Treated not as human but a dumb piece of cattle.

She is his property, a lone prized possession,
Absorbing the punishment, but where's the transgression?
Her tears burst through the dam in a torrential flood,
Driven by the sight of the bruises and blood.

When they step out in public, he puts on a show,
Acting a perfect gentleman wherever they go.
Other women say "oh my, what a catch!"
As she manages to hide every deep cut and scratch.

He smiles and waves to them, what a great guy!
No one ever notices the look in her eye.
They are a beautiful couple, sharp looking and young,
Out on the town for some good wholesome fun.

It's there, the discomfort, the raging frustration,
But she holds it inside, lest she face devastation.
So she plays along with the fantasy, buries the strain,
Puts on a fake smile and suppresses the pain.

But how long can she go on with this awful routine?
"If only, if only the truth could be seen!"
She thinks to herself while committing the crime,
Waiting for an out, biding her time.

She has only one shot to break free and escape,
Away from the beatings and bruising and ****.
So she lays out every detail in her head,
Knowing full well if she fails, she's dead.

After a couple of months, she chooses her time,
Takes a deep breath and puts her life on the line.
In the darkness of night, she makes for the outside,
Suddenly she hears him: "where do you think you'll hide?"

He was already on to her, aware of the plot,
And he lashes out with every ounce of sweat that he's got.
By the time he is finished she's crushed to the core,
"That ought to teach you, you stupid young *****!"

So it's back to the basement, back to the cell,
Her own little desperate corner of hell.
Her master is so furious, angry and seething,
But by some freak occurrence she is still here and breathing.

For the next 15 years he robs her of joy,
She is his precious, his plaything, his toy.
It finally ends one day when the cops storm the place,
And walk out her master in a display of disgrace.

Down at the station they don't really care.
They just need the facts, the who, when and where.
She may be battered, roughed up and burned,
But the folks who surround her just seem unconcerned.

Walking out of the precinct a cool wind passes through,
She cinches up her jacket and thinks: "Now what will I do?
I've had my sprit torn from me, for twenty odd years,
am I just supposed to forget the dark and the fears?"

Despite every bit of it, she won't give up the fight,
though she still finds it ******* a quiet, long night.
Master's been put away now, a life sentence times three
She's away from his grasp but will she ever be free?
 Apr 2018 Siphumelele
Barker
Pain II
 Apr 2018 Siphumelele
Barker
I see you standing there
I can see the pain masked by a smile
I can see how broken you are

I want to help you
I want to make you feel wanted
I want to make you happy

But I don't know how
I don't know what to do
I don't know how to act

I wish I could help you
I want to help you
I can help you

I've been through this
I know how this works
I know how I got through this

Maybe I can heal those scars on your wrist
I just want you to open up
I need you to open up

I know that it is hard
I understand what this means
I might not understand completely

I can try to understand
I will understand
I just need you to trust me

Please
Let Me
Help You

Don't
Shut Me
Out
(c)ibarker

For the one who has my heart
“Have u ever fallen in love?”
Asked the girl to her love.
Though She loved him unconditionally,
She asked the question to him.

She wished he said No.

So she can someday tell him what her feelings are.
Unaware of the situation of her.
He replied after a big pause,
“YES, I DID FALL FOR A GIRL.”

She was surprised to hear that!
Was she?
Her heart replied ‘No’
It said ‘I am broken dear’.
Collecting all the residue spirit she just asked to the man she loved,
“Who is she? Do I know her?”

The man too loved her from the inner corner of his heart.
Keeping aside all the fear of losing her,
He replied with a hope which lit up in his heart, “Its you my love.”

Tears rolled down with brave hearts.
They were the sign of pure love.
Her heart said from inside ‘love hurts but DEAR, LOVE THIS HURT’
That’s the story of a sweet hurt.
Love may sometimes hurt us, but, we feel happy when they are SWEET HURT.
I'm kind of stuck
At least... I think I am
Somewhere between telling everyone I know to *******
And "just please come hold me friend"

Some place in between an uneasy heart and hectic mind

"I'm depressed"
Can't I just say it without having to explain why?
Sometimes I don't even know which reason to choose

Short replies

"You seem like you don't want to talk"

You're right, but I also want to reach out
I want out
I want to let go of everything
And capture it all in my arms

like a fire fly in the palm of restless hands,
Just let me hold on to your light
Atleast, just for tonight

Because I'm feeling stuck.
 Apr 2018 Siphumelele
Dori
Lust
 Apr 2018 Siphumelele
Dori
When I realized that I didn’t want to love you anymore, I realized that I probably never did.
Stop looking for me. You’ll never find me again.
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