... things are easy to take
                                    And some others...
                       even easier.

I'd **** you all now,
I thought this would be only fair
But loving, keeping you the way you like to be,
It's sane and safe. Amazing you want me to be,
The kind of a great annoying mystery
To haunt you still...
A memory you'll need, one Day...
Enjoy this wonderful silence.

I struggle to be a nice girl: the worst choice of my life,
Man I am not good with all this life,
Working like a fool, join the 'army of the great for my money,
God... I just had to make it harder for myself!
Here, I am again complaining.

Hard to appreciate everything I have,
Easy ways are always leading one to hard
Times of imprisonment...

Now what my image happened with this soul of mine?
And what my image happens with this shell of mine...
Caring, not caring... training for that better life!

Down the streets people still walk and live and talk
And crave for their more.
Up, in the bed, on their chairs and those grounds
They have chosen,
Chosen each soul...
_ Careful to not upset (too much) your own saviour _
People still live...
A pleasant touch of ignorance: bliss for my impotence to **** them all
And sentence them to heaven, once and for all.

This foul nature we keep attaking
With garbage every day
One day taking the garbage
Back to us.

Shouldn't we deal with it?

How worthy of love are we?
What makes us worthy and why do things have to be this troubling?
Learning from the young and reckless
Rather than being myself all-knowing
And potent,
All wrong.

Adolescence worries...

How much do I Have to hate myself?
I don't want to exist among these loved ones.
I am tired of your loved ones,
Precious loved ones allowed to lose me.
To make the filth they wouldn't but mock.

Even the old want young ******* to **** with
One way or another they'll for them to **** with.
Desires, burning, churning their prides!
Finding their ways so divine of... Loving us!

I won't be loved, I know that,
They always knew best, I'm sorry for all of your tears,
I tried to be a good human but this love of yours,
Much stronger than anybody else's hurts.

I won't be loved, he said, I know,
I made a terrible mistake with her!
I won't be cared for with a kind heart,
Only her duty can save me from this trap.

"What about a miracle? Someone sweet?"
The joyful party on the hall of the hospital
Offered to the kids in the salon, time sweet,
The clowns and elves dance, a flight super-vital.

Already down I am, under a trap
so well prepared,
The vines of my existence contort
constricting your body and soul.

It hurts to see you hurt like this,
it was all just a lie, we’re confessing our torments.

Already down under your great curtain of spite,
It hurts to see how much you cared not,
Still, you forced me into this and I said: “alright...
I’ll do this...”

Now I regret loving you in any way
Already down, under your murderous tears
I can comprehend and I am with you, oh,
poor deceived soul!
As if I ever meant anything to you!

But another try, another gal’ to hurt.
Already down under the cover of skies
you somehow won.
I’m reading and learning about your ways,
regretful acts of ******,
Hatred and spite.

If I am still wondering why all that
then I am a fool!
“It was for your great palaces, you great fools,
kings and lovers!”

© All rights Reserved Theodora Oniceanu

Be
That flea to pinch you:
No, all this is not a dream.
To help you cut yourself
In the shards of my shattered mirrors
And call all this fate,
Call all this late hours of work
You'll need... to understand
That what you lost wasn't much love,
Wasn't much faith...
It was and is only terrifying!

I can't believe how much love you can bear,
Faustrated needs exposed - powerfully expressed...
It hurt, It almost hurt but not my pride,
My pride is good without it.

Burning pride, vividly, poetically
Too much love can be there where it cannot hurt;

I can't believe how much love you can bear,
It hurt, perhaps too much or something else,
Not fond of this frustrated twisted romance and blossom of more waste....
What's wrong? Doesn't the world have enough gelee waters
To choose from?

I can't believe how much love you can take...
It's probably me, not willing to understand.

Oceans of blue
Puddles on asphalt reflection
Indifference refraction

I am tall and handsome,
Pretty and smart,
I am very well cultivate,
A proud blonde,
Looking for a partner to keep me alive.

I am beautiful with waist that's thin,
Not too tall and not too slim,
Kind and generous,
Fine like a painting,
Like a muse,
Someone you can't touch to abuse,
Looking for a friend to keep me alive.

Looking for brains and pleasure of godly light,
Finding your friend playing the role of the enemy inside.

Roman, you threw me to the serpents this time!
I hate you!
Why did you have to do that?

This is getting obsessive...
I'm sure you don't want to be forgotten but this?

Really... I hate you!

To have everything you want,
Know what you want and achieve it,
Know how;
To be invincible and happy
Happy with the term of your achievements.

Times when we need to have fun,
A way of asking for help...
A way to look
For the right path to take.
Times when a heart needs to be saved.

You were the real deal! You are the real deal!
May I be the robot?
And make the deal, have the deal?
Robots cannot feel, robots cannot feel!
May I be the robot?
Robots cannot feel!

If you want my love-life.
Robots cannot feel.

You would rather die than be a stupid victim,
- So you shut up, - no, you shut up...
- Behave, - No you behave,
- Ah, be the f*un you want.

Frames and more acts of perfect joy!

What you see is what you aren't,
But embellishes your soul,
Makes you help and grow,
Helps you make and grow
The life you wanted.
And if it's hatred that you need so be it!
Just, be careful what you do!
My friend.

And rain if you want, from the clouds!
Dear Dragons,
To you.
Love.

Mua

You love them for their money...
You love them for the families they have and had...
You love them for their wealth.

You love them for their fights,
Their guts... Their ability to Unite to ****...
To defend... To believe...
You love them for their courage to Unite against another one...
You always loved them for having more...

~ Oy! you never knew what love is. ~

After taking what you needed you walked out the door
And I heard of you only when you needed something more...
Or wanted to Hurt me somehow.
Show me how well you've done compared...
To the stupid I, there for you in your times of need...
Never there for me, in my times of need... I failed to see...
To feel and find my heart and soul...
Freed... Looking for the right thing.
Your guess of a need of mine? the promise of a good ****,
I learned now,
'Twas too wrong the path taken.

When were you there for me?
Quite never. So what is the point of all this?
Oh, sure... Why not take more of your trouble.
As Mine seemed quite insufficient to you.

You love them. Always did and always will
Love them...!
For what they have to give,
For what you can take away from them...
As long as you can take away.
Only you know nothing of love.
You know your old game.

You love them...
                                             Love me not.

That filth must have meant something to you.
It meant a lot to me...
It told me to wear the Mask of my inner wars with pride.
It told me to wear the Mask of my suffering with pride.
I was almost there... Almost there where I wanted...
Never say never?
Then what can we say?
Are there Words in our dictionaries one cannot say...?

What for? I ask once more: what for
Is it for a better life?
What for? What for?

SeeKing for a miracle,
What the kind,
What the kind?

Maybe you will never understand why...
Because there is too much pride, too much pride,
Even in your childish games.
Too much pride: lovely.

For somebody to blame you
For their love!
The blame for love of the kind
That is healthy!
May you be healthily in love.
Healthily in love.

I loved myself the way I was
Too much, in your opinion,
That's why you hated me,
That's why you hated and punished me,
Taught me your great idea,
The brilliant one
Taking us down into the filth
You "had to"? Take...
Teaching me a lesson,
The lesson of the Great.

God! What has become of these Dragons!
They must be remembering good times of a Fry,
We were told extinct
A species surviving through space and time as a memory,
The memory of great.

There will be that time taking us
To the knowledge of the right thing to do,
To the knowledge of the heart we need,
To the knowledge of the mindset.
Everyone seems to be there:
Some are mean, some are kind, some are grateful and some funny as Hell.

I love my people having fun being funny as Hell.
It is there where we can have the fun we want,
It is there where we can see some fun
Think a little thought of free
Out of the mindless jobs imposed,
Thinking clearer.

What I am made of now
You'd gladly leave behind,
Bury deep in the grounds
Never to see again.

Where are my blades
To clean all this infectious blame
This miserable soul
That seems did not deserve
But more
More of the filth
You wouldn't know
Of How to rid yourselves.

Where are those fires
To put an end to all this filthy page
That I've become
This filth of which everyone
Would be Justly Glad
Happily sad to rid themselves.

there must have been something wrong,
There must have went something wrong, somewhere...

If you wanted to lose me like this, there must have been
Wrong and wrong doing.

Here's mine: Telling on you, hoping you'll mind your own preferences
And learn your hearts places.

The skies hold the please of a star,
The mountains of surreal clouds
Painted by the hands of a child
Sweet innocence and light
Under the canopy of which
The Shadows with their takers make believe.

Of concrete and Steel,
Walking-houses Machines,
Blocks of metal, Blocks of tales,
Broken pieces of Reflective tears.

Shush, don't get yourself out of this,
Hush, don't mind what is only his
Now that he took what you will miss
Forcing your bliss, forcing your bliss.

Shush, Shush, don't you get out of Hell,
Hush! Hush, one must remain a shell.
(Stare into Horizons to sell)
Your heart craving to live and dwell,
You say farewell, you say farewell.

Don't rescue yourself, hush, darling,
Hush, don't you flee like a staring,
Listen to those demons snarling,
Save a sparkling, Save a sparkling.

You were always all superior
In your acts of living,
That's why I preferred my ways better.

Amoeba, dear, ameoba!
It't time for you to glow on the surfaces of lakes
For frogs to get exposed
Later on by humans
Loving lakes so clear
That fish and frogs can breathe
And swans and ducks can glide
On shiny surfaces.

Feels like a winter escape
On glowing matters of green shame
Tuned well
Turned into a yellowish glow
Golden
Light of our future hopes
All taken high, so high above
Shining like the sun over us.

Amoebae! Dear Amoebae! You glow!
You shine and glow!
And I fell helplessly in love!

If one could read all the many stories
The past has to tell about her,
About him,
About them,
About things.

She lost her life,
Redemption was brought to her,
She built a life and had a child,
She lost a baby
But life somehow brought it back,
Brought him back,
Brought her back...
In all your travels may you see
All the soul and souls you could love
And the things you couldn't take
But tried to accept,
See the value in it,
Get yourself out there where you belong.

There is no mistake greater than not SeeKing the path to Redemption of your own soul, love...
Even if hurtful, sometimes...
Without the sun in your eyes and the moon and the stars,
Without the people you can't enjoy...
Somehow making it for the better world
That has all the right to live well.

But I am looking for my soul,
I'm a wanderer, a seeker, a retriever,
A believer, someone who creates...
Someone who was suddenly there,
Being on the path, trying to make meaning of her life,
And I am there, where I can hear
The Rage,
The rage
Suffering united can produce!
All the Rage our suffering united can produce!

From that Rage: live!
Crush things down, they loved their lives, it's their lives!
Crush things down, they loved their lives,
But I don't want their lives to live, I want to build mine.

I have poured rivers of tears,
Remained with filth and some miracle
To help me recover my faith...

I Have been putting back together
Pieces of work
But evil and awfulness must go together
You killed me
For your filth had to survive.
Clean her
Clean her somehow
Of the worse
You will not love
And not because ugly or too beautiful
But because of the filth you made her of...

It is better to be dead than a filthy pig
Of an insult to your prides
and someone
who cannot stand herself
And ruins the lives of everybody else
But, thank you for this gift!

Nobody would be too embarrassed to live like this!

*If the many can ruin even even even...
Have your perfect 'tever evens,
fevers, fevers
to burn all the bull_shit you all claim not being full of!

For pooring you guys!


Are you playing?
Are you having your fun!
Lives all good!

Have a nice flight!

Cheers!

(long version)

Sleeping in a soup of ignorance
Fine with my fantasies and dreams,
All lived…, they were all lived before.
Only the devil could have made one feel so
Insignificant.
Poor devil, still to be blamed
For our brains’ faults.
Issues taken for the fight for importance.

Ignorance bath in the soup of bliss,
Blissful dreams that can’t be shattered anymore.

Ah, the gift of being poor!
The loveliest heart knows how to offer
A chance out as nobody likes being poor.

Grin Grin as we must go on,
Continue with our sin
Of sleeping in a soup of ignorance,
This perfect ignorance  complimenting the knowledge
Of the very poor but rich,
Fine with my fantasies and dreams
... They were all lived…

Ignorance sleeping in a soup of dreams,
All blissful dreams that can’t be shattered anymore.

So, let’s! Let us continue,
Continue with our sin
Of sleeping in a soup of ignorance,
This perfect ignorance  complimenting the knowledge
Of the very rich but poor.

To be continued…

You can live the ******* wanted!
Be the **** and stars and chickens
and cows and everything you want.
You may believe in the ******* want.
I'm out of this. Your fights all in vain.
You keep trying to punish me more,
Curse me with the same crap or even worse.
Why don't you just go to a ****,
You frustrated ******* and *****?
I prepared something nice for you,
All bearable and good to be lived.

'Don't even want to hear about your
wishes to **** me up and offer me goods
I should then Kiss your ***** for
And get even worse ******
By your lousiest pieces of ****!
The kind you'd just love to see me be
For the sake of your personal Victory, worship of ******* and *****
Fighting for what was never but theirs to live and love.
'Love?'
Oh, well... Trouping and fighting to **** all the good they can find
For the Milk and honey,
Greens and funny things
Their ***** need...
Enjoy All your sorrow!
You gladly helped us get all that!

You can live the ******* wanted!
I'm out of here.

As I walk through the tunnels you depicted
In a photograph a shade in plays speaking in tongues
Of hearts I wanted to believe in
Trust
But as I failed I remembered who I really am.
It's a place where we are one
And it can be beautiful
It can be troublesome
It can be craving for the better life.

Like a poem, like a star,
Like the moon light,
Like the fall,
Like the love life you could have had,
Like the dangers _ for your good heart,
For your good heart you will fight.
Like the meaning into the skies,
Like the lives of gods and stars,
Like a scientists,
Like a ghost,
You will hunt and haunt
Or leave things alone.

Like a window,
Like a plane,
Like the Cloud Washing down with rain
Living poems...

Like a story that was told well,
Like the love life you couldn't tell,
Like the love life you wouldn't tell...
Like no other.

Like everything you ever wanted
To have,
Like those things  taken for granted,
Like all those things cherished,
Like the meaning,
Like the sounds,
Like, like, like the alike...
You aren't but a creature from a paradise lost...
What more to ask for?