I missed it more than you know,
This is for you: may all your justice be
Done, uhn-uhn undone,
I hate being misplaced
Trying to have fun
With this
That tells
Of a rotten thing I must have ate...

There is a God in each of us,
There's probably much more than one believes,
There is a saint and there's an enemy...
There is an angel and a friend
Turned into dust and fire,
Turned into stone, a great admirer,
Returned to life!
There is a God in each of us
Miss_guiding us.

You told me that I should be forgiving,
That I should never seek for revenge,
That I should forget,
Just like an animal...
I rebelled!
Just like an animal I felt
Trapped and fooled;
Don't tell me you don't,
Don't tell me you don't know,
What have I become?
Oh, I don't know.
Still looking for a way to improve the impossible...
And possible everything is, impossible to forget.

You're with her now,
Mocking me and my soul,
Inspiring my heart to grow
Feelings I never had before...

You're with her now,
Laughing at my heart and soul:
The fool I was. You're right...
Inspiring my heart grow
Feelings
Which may count as dangerous.
The fool I was... Thinking....

                   One must do.
But you were undoable.
"Thanks Lord" You give praise.
You, with her, laughing, mocking,
Making my heart rise
Over centuries if pride.
Feelings....
                      With her.

there must have been something wrong,
There must have went something wrong, somewhere...

If you wanted to lose me like this, there must have been
Wrong and wrong doing.

Here's mine: Telling on you, hoping you'll mind your own preferences
And learn your hearts places.

I have become a nobody
And that is not a shame,
That is an opportunity,
My opportunity to leave behind all the pain,
Rid myself of the burden or learn how to carry the load
With the ease of photons gliding on the rods of solar loom,
Explosions having sunlight pass through thick air,
Hit grounds and products of their existence-manifests,
Cast Shadows over surfaces exposed, Surf with the aliens, walk with the man,
With the moon and stars and planets a movement
Spiralling to expand the sheet of paper that's a Universe asking to collide, intersect, take a glance at...
A parellel...
Our
Cosmic DNA

Above you are, claiming your souls,
Your need is to conquer.
Cry of pride, anger and sorrow,
A strong spirit, stern, calm remains.

You're forgiven, my child,
You aren't among restless souls.
Called you are to curse back if cursed.
One day, maybe I'll learn,
I had to, for the sake of my soul.

Playful net, a miracle made,
Desperate chords expressing live feelings.
All those who have once felt the same feel;
My God, rest their souls, still forgiving.
A heart strong, in hell, no more living.

If one could read all the many stories
The past has to tell about her,
About him,
About them,
About things.

She lost her life,
Redemption was brought to her,
She built a life and had a child,
She lost a baby
But life somehow brought it back,
Brought him back,
Brought her back...
In all your travels may you see
All the soul and souls you could love
And the things you couldn't take
But tried to accept,
See the value in it,
Get yourself out there where you belong.

There is no mistake greater than not SeeKing the path to Redemption of your own soul, love...
Even if hurtful, sometimes...
Without the sun in your eyes and the moon and the stars,
Without the people you can't enjoy...
Somehow making it for the better world
That has all the right to live well.

But I am looking for my soul,
I'm a wanderer, a seeker, a retriever,
A believer, someone who creates...
Someone who was suddenly there,
Being on the path, trying to make meaning of her life,
And I am there, where I can hear
The Rage,
The rage
Suffering united can produce!
All the Rage our suffering united can produce!

From that Rage: live!
Crush things down, they loved their lives, it's their lives!
Crush things down, they loved their lives,
But I don't want their lives to live, I want to build mine.

"My warrior, don't leave me!
She said, her heart in tears,
Her eyes with shines of wonderful surprise
All wrapped in fright."

" Don't worry, my great love,
I Will be back sooner than you can spell
Ivory Tower. "

"Oh, but I want to move!"

"Please, dear! It's for the best. Do trust me!"

"Oh, but I refuse, solanellely!"

"Then I will have to leave with a heart too sorrowed..."

As Missy watched the film tare down
Her heart of plastic wrap
Hanging above the TV set ideas started float
Around her hearts all left to hang above
Without a hope.

A day in town, away from the crowd,
Paying a visit to an aunt.
Return back home after Tea...
A ladies beauty spa, a New Cafe and... one *** shop: she enters:
- Hello! Do you have any metal *******?
.....

This sad,
Broken with love and care  put down
And why is this calmness telling of the great fighter,
The warrior I've become!

For a solitude imposed,
Fathers, mothers wishing me so much time to live!
Oh, this wonderful life kept in captivity,
I thought I made it fun,
I thought I made it sad,
Until I WOKE UP and learned the real path,
Until I WOKE UP and really thought!

More life,
                  MORE
                               life More.

Said to be imperfect,
But perfectly created.

She danced on the waves,
She swinged on the waves
Of perfection

Then one Day came back to see all your perfect Children.

Nono is a fine bird!
Comes to the window every morn
Beak ticking - tock tick-tock talk
Telling me there is some time,
There is some time left for a little fun...

No, no. I didn't see the pain, nor the suffering...
I didn't see the tears...
No no! The solutions seekers
Don't know of the unfair...
No no... In our quests
We don't get to hurt another heart.
No, no...
In our  search for a solution
We don't get to be hurt.

On the Alley of Sin, we spin,
Trying to get back to that Holy Being
we need!

“They are debating my soul”
“-You are losing your time with them”
“-Please, step into my world!”

He gives me a kiss...
I put the world into my pocket and walked away...
A kiss in the name of the Father.

You are drowning in acid tears for me
But I don’t seem to care,
You are diving into the bitter darkness; I’m seeing this in a past
cup of coffee...
You are drinking it!
I am smelling it!

You were drawing us to the forbidden land
But someone gave me a hand;
I’m suddenly crying for all that you lost,
my friend.
~
Taking a pause!
“- Resting your cause!”
I am going down with a high spirit and see
People walking in slow motion...
their steps are telling me
a story...
“Have patience, you’ll be...!”
Advice for the silent he gives.

*
Alone in this copper house,
I’m getting the bits of your shattered lights.
“I am not alone, and have never actually been!”
Love is in my mind now, and your mind in my heart,
My soul is somewhere in my memory...
and memory’s greatness shall hide in for me!
Then I will light a candle in the living memory of whom you ”

used to be.

“- Yes, my Holy Being! It is you my Pain Killer! I shall take you in!”

From: Teodora Oniceanu. “Time Files"PersonAll”.

One can't live without being a character!

Made of pure hatred,
I don't know why you love me so much!
It must be me being a saint,
As I don't know myself
Being too arrogant to care,
Being a ****** something else
Laughing at you
When you quarrel with the mushroom.
What did they say back to you?
It must have been for the best as the too tense felt better.
Interesting phenomena,
Mushrooms spreading their healthy issues.

"Maybe you had a good life but you had to ruin mine... and I had to say goodbye, still, you wouldn't let me...
You like seeing us hurt,
Broken, humiliated for all the strength we show,
For all the weakness we exposed...
For anything that is, that was...
Once yours
Oh, but for ten times much more!
You would
Humiliate us more
I know...
I had to flee
As you were too ugly to accept and let me be."

©Theodora Oniceanu

The only way you were willing to offer
Is the slave way,
Now what can I say?
Slaves you always use then destroy
For maybe they'd tell,
May be they'd tell on you,
Their story spread all over the world.
You may never have me,
Never see me again after all this abuse!

Didn't you have enough fun?

From the rain brought down on earth
Crops have grown
Evolved some species of plant,
Seeds can live and grow,
Seeds can become so beautiful
Feeding us well.

Farm tales.

I think I already had something said of some pigs and some cows...
And chickens...
Other animals were involved,
But said not enough of the noble horse and the mighty peacock.
But there's much more, there is much more! And all of you quite know how many animals...

And we all joke until it becomes not funny anymore
But there's solution.

I've lost my soul
Or did the soul lost me?
Either way: as long as we can be happy...!

And you didn't know
It's because someone loved you.

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Not feeling sorry
And you: not accepted the apology
And there is me not willing to apologise
As your apology was so right
That it ended the right thing to do
And your pride so much greater
That I learned how to be just like that:
Too proud, knowing my place...

When everything you do is a mistake
You know it's over,
Where is my heart now, my soul,
I said I sold it but now I know what a great liar I am,
Running for salvation, looking for a way out of hell.

Where is my love-life?
I probably imagined everything that was,
Everything that is,
I watch you grow and live,
Running for salvation when put down by your pride.

Decision desperate to reach heavens,
I was told that one must first go through hell.
Well, where do you think I was?
I watched you live the extraordinary
Imagining myself there.

Where is my friend now?
I hope not lost, they needed a good life just like I do,
I watch you grow wiser and wiser every day,
And I can't have enough of it,
Running for salvation, she was right,
I must be looking for the light.

I tell myself I think,
And I think only well,
I listen and I work,
I look for and I play,
I seek and hide.

I tell myself tales asking, asking for help,
I imagine to turn things that upset into a haven,
Heaven in my head, heaven in my head,
I should have remained depressed, died alone
For my family turned so embarrassed.
For my hurting soul to the extreme.

Tell me the story of that Page you treasured more,
In that book of your life that didn't mean but
A drop in the oceans of pages filled with words and tears,
Images to rest our souls with.

Tell me all that story of your youth, lost hours In words,
Feelings adorned with the explorations of shapes
Moving you on the abstract waves of games,
Thinking of that first Page in the origamy-heart-book you designed
To impress a sad Old child.

Would you beat the filth out of me?
If I asked you, please...
Would you make me worthy?

Could you Save me from myself and this sickening truth that's too ugly?

An invention, this dragon fighting me,
An invention the devil...  

   God likes us chopped by these chosen.
I Will turn into their nightmare and haunt them
As... they disturbed me.
        They chopped me.

I'll forgive them, if I can.
If not, I' ll have to chop them.

But you MissLead and cheat,
You teach us to be little
And good for nothing ******
And if we dare to raise you
A better human then
We're told We're nothing, we are put down,
We're taught the hard lesson of being wrong
As right would be too hard, too hard to take
And if we dared and managed and helped you'd find a way to punish us...


Oh... The Kid... The kid you aren't.
Oh,... The kid kidding around you aren't!
You serious child! Why won't you just live the hell out of great trouble you couldn't take!?

Your sweet butterflies created in the perfect lab
Have visited me in a dream,
They told me so many things that my gut felt forced to train itself,
Stretch to sentence them to a higher flight
Where they could find everything they couldn't want but the way they loved: peaceful
Butterflies fluttering their wings, flying up, flying down,
Mesmerising my mind,
Where's the bee?
They bring pollen that took on their wings
But the bee,
The bee is bringing her honey and her poison and her humming,
Then a buzz,
Then a flight in the search of more flowers.

I ate three thousand butterflies and their queen
Had no problem.

For that memory
Of your greatness
And that wish of well for both of our worlds?

Oh, what the honour,
What the Grace!

Have faith,
They'll fight and ruin it,
Your soul.

Have mercy,
They will convince you that you're stupid.
You and your soul.

Be arrogant,
You'll find yourself nothing but a fool.
You selved soul!

Be faithful,
You'll be thrown out of the door,
You peaceful arogant fool!

Be hard like a stone.

Of being a stupid depressed *****,
Just because he likes you that way...
Just because she likes you that way...
Oh, the honour!

It's a good thing that I Have
To Eat and Sleep and Crap
For crap
This world so forgiving and giving us a good ol' ****!
It's a good thing to be able to eat and go to a ****!
Such a good thing, really,
I couldn't be more proud!

Your Father did was not enough...
Now your Mother?

If only, one had the good common sense...
I used to have the good common sense...
But I lost it... Somehow... And that felt finally good.

You keep me alive,
Your passion, your soul,
The flame of your heart, bright,
The light in you, inspiring!

Love of my life, we had our wonderful times,
Now we're reliving our best decisions,
Times of sorrow, times of suffering,
All gone... there's nothing but happiness
We seek...
There's nothing but happiness to find here!
All this for the deserving.

As I wait in this loud silence imposed
While the war makes soul of our hearts and brains
I learn
I weep
I tell
I can't explain to myself this crave for suffering.
It must be a habit
Imposed
As well
Made
As the hives of bees.
Could I accept the miracle?
Was I supposed to hurt him more?
I can't explain myself this crave for suffering.
It must be a bad habit.

Too proud for me...
                              She thinks she knows.

She must be greater...
                              And  I must be here...

A family


Is a family...
If you can accept... A family like that!
A good family like that...

I don't know what one has to do to be perfect. And perfect for what?
That is the question! Some wish ill some wish good and one has to know what is what and who is who...
Some do and some others do and we do do
Birdie Jobs

Do you really enjoy making me
Suffer?


Why do you entertain me?

Why do you....

For everything we love and save
We will get punished, in the end...
As if we didn't live it...
As if we didn't suffer enough...
As if, without suffering
There will be no end you can love.