And never cared about anything and anyone else in the world.

I have become a nobody
And that is not a shame,
That is an opportunity,
My opportunity to leave behind all the pain,
Rid myself of the burden or learn how to carry the load
With the ease of photons gliding on the rods of solar loom,
Explosions having sunlight pass through thick air,
Hit grounds and products of their existence-manifests,
Cast Shadows over surfaces exposed, Surf with the aliens, walk with the man,
With the moon and stars and planets a movement
Spiralling to expand the sheet of paper that's a Universe asking to collide, intersect, take a glance at...
A parellel...
Our
Cosmic DNA

"Now why would ye like me ta be only a *****,
Ye need one that much? Is it the only way ye can make yerself shine?
Stand up prouder than anyone else?
Why would ye like me subjected a ****?
Dejection lost in tis world,
Any town would do... Any time would do...
Ye couldn't make anything and anyone better,
Yer pride was cruel.

Why would ye like me ta be hateful and 'wise',
Standing too proud in the crowd,
Thinking myself what I,'m not...
Standing too low, becoming the filth of your beloved
And loathed... Loathful... Lost, gladly, for the best...

Learning that I must be everything,
No matter what, no matter how I feel...
Why would yer pride be so great and let me lead myself out of Hell? "
Breaking like the lightning crossing the skies on a story night.
"Why would ye want me ta be a *****?
Only a ****** *****?
Ye need one so bad...
Is this the only way ye can feel important?
Why would ye want me ta be a *****?
Is this the only way ye can be better?
Ye want all my life to go wrong.
Maybe this will make ye greater... "

I missed it more than you know,
This is for you: may all your justice be
Done, uhn-uhn undone,
I hate being misplaced
Trying to have fun
With this
That tells
Of a rotten thing I must have ate...

You told me that I should be forgiving,
That I should never seek for revenge,
That I should forget,
Just like an animal...
I rebelled!
Just like an animal I felt
Trapped and fooled;
Don't tell me you don't,
Don't tell me you don't know,
What have I become?
Oh, I don't know.
Still looking for a way to improve the impossible...
And possible everything is, impossible to forget.

On the Alley of Sin, we spin,
Trying to get back to that Holy Being
we need!

“They are debating my soul”
“-You are losing your time with them”
“-Please, step into my world!”

He gives me a kiss...
I put the world into my pocket and walked away...
A kiss in the name of the Father.

You are drowning in acid tears for me
But I don’t seem to care,
You are diving into the bitter darkness; I’m seeing this in a past
cup of coffee...
You are drinking it!
I am smelling it!

You were drawing us to the forbidden land
But someone gave me a hand;
I’m suddenly crying for all that you lost,
my friend.
~
Taking a pause!
“- Resting your cause!”
I am going down with a high spirit and see
People walking in slow motion...
their steps are telling me
a story...
“Have patience, you’ll be...!”
Advice for the silent he gives.

*
Alone in this copper house,
I’m getting the bits of your shattered lights.
“I am not alone, and have never actually been!”
Love is in my mind now, and your mind in my heart,
My soul is somewhere in my memory...
and memory’s greatness shall hide in for me!
Then I will light a candle in the living memory of whom you ”

used to be.

“- Yes, my Holy Being! It is you my Pain Killer! I shall take you in!”

From: Teodora Oniceanu. “Time Files"PersonAll”.

You're with her now,
Mocking me and my soul,
Inspiring my heart to grow
Feelings I never had before...

You're with her now,
Laughing at my heart and soul:
The fool I was. You're right...
Inspiring my heart grow
Feelings
Which may count as dangerous.
The fool I was... Thinking....

                   One must do.
But you were undoable.
"Thanks Lord" You give praise.
You, with her, laughing, mocking,
Making my heart rise
Over centuries if pride.
Feelings....
                      With her.

Said to be imperfect,
But perfectly created.

She danced on the waves,
She swinged on the waves
Of perfection

Then one Day came back to see all your perfect Children.

For a solitude imposed,
Fathers, mothers wishing me so much time to live!
Oh, this wonderful life kept in captivity,
I thought I made it fun,
I thought I made it sad,
Until I WOKE UP and learned the real path,
Until I WOKE UP and really thought!

This sad,
Broken with love and care  put down
And why is this calmness telling of the great fighter,
The warrior I've become!

"My warrior, don't leave me!
She said, her heart in tears,
Her eyes with shines of wonderful surprise
All wrapped in fright."

" Don't worry, my great love,
I Will be back sooner than you can spell
Ivory Tower. "

"Oh, but I want to move!"

"Please, dear! It's for the best. Do trust me!"

"Oh, but I refuse, solanellely!"

"Then I will have to leave with a heart too sorrowed..."

As Missy watched the film tare down
Her heart of plastic wrap
Hanging above the TV set ideas started float
Around her hearts all left to hang above
Without a hope.

A day in town, away from the crowd,
Paying a visit to an aunt.
Return back home after Tea...
A ladies beauty spa, a New Cafe and... one *** shop: she enters:
- Hello! Do you have any metal *******?
.....

More life,
                  MORE
                               life More.

Not feeling sorry
And you: not accepted the apology
And there is me not willing to apologise
As your apology was so right
That it ended the right thing to do
And your pride so much greater
That I learned how to be just like that:
Too proud, knowing my place...

Made of pure hatred,
I don't know why you love me so much!
It must be me being a saint,
As I don't know myself
Being too arrogant to care,
Being a ****** something else
Laughing at you
When you quarrel with the mushroom.
What did they say back to you?
It must have been for the best as the too tense felt better.
Interesting phenomena,
Mushrooms spreading their healthy issues.

There is a God in each of us,
There's probably much more than one believes,
There is a saint and there's an enemy...
There is an angel and a friend
Turned into dust and fire,
Turned into stone, a great admirer,
Returned to life!
There is a God in each of us
Miss_guiding us.

Above you are, claiming your souls,
Your need is to conquer.
Cry of pride, anger and sorrow,
A strong spirit, stern, calm remains.

You're forgiven, my child,
You aren't among restless souls.
Called you are to curse back if cursed.
One day, maybe I'll learn,
I had to, for the sake of my soul.

Playful net, a miracle made,
Desperate chords expressing live feelings.
All those who have once felt the same feel;
My God, rest their souls, still forgiving.
A heart strong, in hell, no more living.

Nono is a fine bird!
Comes to the window every morn
Beak ticking - tock tick-tock talk
Telling me there is some time,
There is some time left for a little fun...

No, no. I didn't see the pain, nor the suffering...
I didn't see the tears...
No no! The solutions seekers
Don't know of the unfair...
No no... In our quests
We don't get to hurt another heart.
No, no...
In our  search for a solution
We don't get to be hurt.

The only way you were willing to offer
Is the slave way,
Now what can I say?
Slaves you always use then destroy
For maybe they'd tell,
May be they'd tell on you,
Their story spread all over the world.
You may never have me,
Never see me again after all this abuse!

Didn't you have enough fun?

I tell myself I think,
And I think only well,
I listen and I work,
I look for and I play,
I seek and hide.

I tell myself tales asking, asking for help,
I imagine to turn things that upset into a haven,
Heaven in my head, heaven in my head,
I should have remained depressed, died alone
For my family turned so embarrassed.
For my hurting soul to the extreme.

Your sweet butterflies created in the perfect lab
Have visited me in a dream,
They told me so many things that my gut felt forced to train itself,
Stretch to sentence them to a higher flight
Where they could find everything they couldn't want but the way they loved: peaceful
Butterflies fluttering their wings, flying up, flying down,
Mesmerising my mind,
Where's the bee?
They bring pollen that took on their wings
But the bee,
The bee is bringing her honey and her poison and her humming,
Then a buzz,
Then a flight in the search of more flowers.

I ate three thousand butterflies and their queen
Had no problem.

One can't live without being a character!

"Maybe you had a good life but you had to ruin mine... and I had to say goodbye, still, you wouldn't let me...
You like seeing us hurt,
Broken, humiliated for all the strength we show,
For all the weakness we exposed...
For anything that is, that was...
Once yours
Oh, but for ten times much more!
You would
Humiliate us more
I know...
I had to flee
As you were too ugly to accept and let me be."

©Theodora Oniceanu

And you didn't know
It's because someone loved you.

From the rain brought down on earth
Crops have grown
Evolved some species of plant,
Seeds can live and grow,
Seeds can become so beautiful
Feeding us well.

Farm tales.

I think I already had something said of some pigs and some cows...
And chickens...
Other animals were involved,
But said not enough of the noble horse and the mighty peacock.
But there's much more, there is much more! And all of you quite know how many animals...

And we all joke until it becomes not funny anymore
But there's solution.

I've lost my soul
Or did the soul lost me?
Either way: as long as we can be happy...!

Your Father did was not enough...
Now your Mother?

If only, one had the good common sense...
I used to have the good common sense...
But I lost it... Somehow... And that felt finally good.

\55510AbRyeKC
/555LLNo°SyncFA

Maybe you don't need something nice in your life,
Something to brighten the days,
Make part of your life shine,
Lit a little light in your heart.
Maybe you're that ugly inside.

I don't know what one has to do to be perfect. And perfect for what?
That is the question! Some wish ill some wish good and one has to know what is what and who is who...
Some do and some others do and we do do
Birdie Jobs

But you MissLead and cheat,
You teach us to be little
And good for nothing ******
And if we dare to raise you
A better human then
We're told We're nothing, we are put down,
We're taught the hard lesson of being wrong
As right would be too hard, too hard to take
And if we dared and managed and helped you'd find a way to punish us...


Oh... The Kid... The kid you aren't.
Oh,... The kid kidding around you aren't!
You serious child! Why won't you just live the hell out of great trouble you couldn't take!?

"-Yey! I am going to be ******!" and with all the enthusiasm she played along!

When everything you do is a mistake
You know it's over,
Where is my heart now, my soul,
I said I sold it but now I know what a great liar I am,
Running for salvation, looking for a way out of hell.

Where is my love-life?
I probably imagined everything that was,
Everything that is,
I watch you grow and live,
Running for salvation when put down by your pride.

Decision desperate to reach heavens,
I was told that one must first go through hell.
Well, where do you think I was?
I watched you live the extraordinary
Imagining myself there.

Where is my friend now?
I hope not lost, they needed a good life just like I do,
I watch you grow wiser and wiser every day,
And I can't have enough of it,
Running for salvation, she was right,
I must be looking for the light.

Would you beat the filth out of me?
If I asked you, please...
Would you make me worthy?

Could you Save me from myself and this sickening truth that's too ugly?

An invention, this dragon fighting me,
An invention the devil...  

   God likes us chopped by these chosen.
I Will turn into their nightmare and haunt them
As... they disturbed me.
        They chopped me.

I'll forgive them, if I can.
If not, I' ll have to chop them.

Oh, what the honour,
What the Grace!

And leave me alone?

God, make her miracles happen
So I can find my piece of mind and peaceful wars I always loved
Showing...

Have faith,
They'll fight and ruin it,
Your soul.

Have mercy,
They will convince you that you're stupid.
You and your soul.

Be arrogant,
You'll find yourself nothing but a fool.
You selved soul!

Be faithful,
You'll be thrown out of the door,
You peaceful arogant fool!

Be hard like a stone.

Speaking nothing of the shame
Of not playing it too well,
Where's my strength?
All that certainty
I built
Taking all that I could take
From a teacher or a friend,
Taking nothing from a poisonous egotistic problem.
I must have hurt you,
Oh, you poor thing,
I barely dared to live that something beautiful...
But when time comes time comes
And one may deserve what they want.

How? By killing another one,
Or making them turn into their greatest sickening worst.

A long time ago,
In a past my mind remembers
She felt Hurt,
Thinking being a spoiled brat would help her.
But taking it, little by little,
Growing a life from anew
May help one make that difference,
A return to the light you need.

It's a fighter you loved
And I didn't know how it feels
Until she made you feel ashamed
With the choice of not showing her love.
A little bee that needs to help your times
Make sweeter your lives needs to be cherished and loved,
Nurtured and given her hope.

What happened, little bee,
Did your mother die?
Maybe you wouldn't understand why.
Maybe death wasn't explained to you well...
Sweet little child.

Oh, my little sweet bee,
You will need to sting when caught.
You'll survive, don't you worry.
You'll survive.

Helped with the best and strongest minds.

Sweet child who believed
That the world can be a good place to live.
Well, the world can be a good place to live in.
You're still a good soul meaning only good
Which means being only too stupid.

Ask them, look into their eyes,
It's a business world out there
They are selling one another,
Forcing you into selling yourselves and your souls...
Forcing you into not selling but more.
How else can you survive...?
It isn't easy! It isn't easy at all!

The path? Do you remember Jesus?
Do you remember Christ?
Do you remember God?
A God would never accept nor like being mistreated.
A God would fight.

Learn the good path, take only the best...
Make it right!
Sweet child... Loved child!
Be Wise and strong.

It's a good thing that I Have
To Eat and Sleep and Crap
For crap
This world so forgiving and giving us a good ol' ****!
It's a good thing to be able to eat and go to a ****!
Such a good thing, really,
I couldn't be more proud!

As I wait in this loud silence imposed
While the war makes soul of our hearts and brains
I learn
I weep
I tell
I can't explain to myself this crave for suffering.
It must be a habit
Imposed
As well
Made
As the hives of bees.
Could I accept the miracle?
Was I supposed to hurt him more?
I can't explain myself this crave for suffering.
It must be a bad habit.

Tell me the story of that Page you treasured more,
In that book of your life that didn't mean but
A drop in the oceans of pages filled with words and tears,
Images to rest our souls with.

Tell me all that story of your youth, lost hours In words,
Feelings adorned with the explorations of shapes
Moving you on the abstract waves of games,
Thinking of that first Page in the origamy-heart-book you designed
To impress a sad Old child.