Blossoms are the
Hopes and dreams
Attached to the thorny
Stems of life
We all have to climb
To smell the roses

“You are worthless!”
Somebody close to me said.
“Not worth a ****!”
It was somebody in my head.
“Never have been.”
The ******* went right on
“And never will be.”
It never has been gone.

My entire life
These words have been there.
I have tried hard
To act like I don’t even care.
But they hurt me
Took joy from all I try to do
And bring me down
Because I fear they are true.

I have tried hard
To prove that I do have worth,
I’m not, nor have I ever
Been the **** of the earth.
I have worked hard
To make my way among men,
When I start to believe,
The chanting starts over again.

Something in me
A different kinder sort of a voice
Gently urges me
To accept that I have a choice.
It softly tells me
That early on I was damaged
And I must accept
My self-confidence was savaged.

So, slowly changes
Come about in what I am feeling
And I see more
Of what cards fate is dealing.
I changed people
That I let into my life today.
I let the past go
And let those voices go away.

Wrap up all your games
And take them all away.
They might be fun for you
But I don’t want to play.

Sometimes what we think is luck
It isn’t that at all
It’s a series of bad decisions
That lead us to a fall.
You never seem to grow
Out of this kind of crap.
And smiling while you cheat
Is another kind of trap.

I don’t want to play
Take yourself away
Don’t come back here
Any other day.

You seem to believe
That finding the right words
Means your lies disappear
Like they were never heard.
You never get embarrassed
At the ugly things you do.
But it turns our stomachs
And embarrasses us too.

Wrap up all your games
And take them all away.
They might be fun for you
But I don’t want to play.

It’s almost like a game
You used to play as a kid
Where all of us were meant
To ignore the things you did.
This is not a playground
And we are not in school.
Once it might have been cute
But now you’re just a fool.

I don’t want to play
No matter what you say,
Today or any day.
Find somebody less aware.
I don’t want to play.

When I burn,
And, I am thrown in flames,
Will you forgive my fights and screams?
When I burn,
And, the fire burns my veins,
Will you forgive me for all the stupid things?

I did or would have done
In the future non-existent,
And the lies written on my scars
Now sparkling in the sparkle reminiscent;

When I burn,
Will you forget the first hi and hello
And the shyness between us?

When I burn,
Will you forget,
The funny names we decided for our kids, at last?

When I burn,
Will you forget the awful 2 am fight?
Where we pushed and screamed,
Our Words extreme!
But how we held each other close, through out the night?

When I burn,
Will you remember,
The ring and
The vows that we said?

"Together and forever,
    Never alone,
        In life,
  And, in Death"

His owner didn't quite know why
Maybe asthma or an allergy,
Maybe it was a cough or even a sigh.
He was a cat and that was no mystery.
He looked like a normal pet,
Colored just like a giraffe,
But, often at the strangest times
He made a sound just like a laugh.

One day a salesman came to call.
Bliggle's owner was a widow.
And sitting with Bliggle by her side
They watched him through the window.
The salesman knocked, she let him in,
He looked at her and Bliggle.
He told her all about his wares.
And the cat began to giggle.

The man went red and sweaty faced
And waved his hands and told her
She must buy his 'Whizzyclink'!
He would stay there until he sold her.
The widow said she didn't care
If the thing cost a buck and a half.
She wouldn’t buy the kind of gizmo
That could make a kitty cat laugh.

The salesman fumed and shouted then
So she opened up the door.
The salesman went all afluster,
Then he stomped across the floor.
The spoilsport then cursed at her
And called her 'an old bat',
And in his rage and fury
He tripped over Bliggle the cat.

Not hurt at all, the cat just sat
And stared at him awhile.
The salesman gathered up his goods
And Bliggle slowly smiled.
The salesman soon gave up his trade,
He could not live down the rumor,
That he lost his art to pitch a sale
To a cat with a sense of humor.

I need to feel,
even if it's pain.
To know I'm real,
to know I'm sane.
I can't decide,
what to do.
If I should hide,
or should I tell you?
The screaming voice,
telling me to stop.
Is the same old voice,
that tells me to not.
Thinking of the past,
is the only thing I have.
Remembering the pain,
the things lost,
the things gained.
Trying to forget,
everything I've seen.
Worrying about,
the love-hate stream.
One day I'm fine,
the next is a mess.
They say 'just give it time',
and you'll be better than the best.

i feel my world is falling apart
like a crumbling cliff
the world is against my being
i'm unwanted
every move is big decision
every word is pondered for an eternity
keep calm and carry on is not option
does calm exist?