I'm a lonely being
        Who craves the touch of others
It seems that I will live a lonely life
         I have friends and family
but I don't have anyone to call my own
      To have some one to hold
                To kiss          
                      To say I love you
"You will find someone some day" They say

I know

           But every once in while I would like to be assured
That someone will be there

             even if it's just for a little while.

Friends can be found in many places
Friends can be your family
They can be there for you when no one else is.

They bring you joy and belonging,
They can make you feel like you are important.

When the feelings of loneliness and sadness arrive, your friends
are there to shoo them away.

This is what friends are for
they can your best friends or just people to talk to
They are always by your side,
all you have to do is look beside you.

Anger is the one emotion the I feel once a day.
Always bubbling over on the back burner
waiting to explode.

Each day it gets closer and closer
slowly making it's way to the surface.
With every comment, with every criticism.
It just slowly makes its way.

Like a predator to the prey,
a volcano ready to burst.
Who will be the victim?
Who will all this anger be laid on?

No one. Only my self. Because I push it down.
With every little burst, it simmers, then the heat dies down
and it's just there. Flat, unmoving, cool to the touch.
Until it starts again.

How does someone think of something so beautiful,
as something like a poem or a book.

How does one simply write their feelings down like they were breathing?
It takes time for some, but others only mere minutes.

The beauty of what some people make
the flow of the words that relate to so many...

How does one accomplish it?
How can a person achieve something so beautiful?
with just a flick of the wrist

Needing more
               and more
                       and more

The craving that never seizes
                 just wanting more
Waiting, wanting, needing
               more                   more                     more

pacing back and forth
                                 back and forth

The need for so many things,
           wanting to cry out
for just the taste of that one thing
                      that gets your blood pumping.
         more                       more             back and forth                         more

Can be so many things
       have different meanings for so many people.

All we need is the satisfaction that will put out the need for our addiction

The melodies flow through the air,
reaching all who dares to listen.

When everything is just noise and static
the beat of the drum flows through.
Blinding the rest, until it's all you hear.

The flow of the voice that washes over you
causing emotions to crash through you
make your heart ache with recognition.

Makes you feel human,
lets you know that your emotions are real
that they are here.

Continue through the ages,
always changing
always evolving
but still has the same meaning.

The beautiful melody,
the noise that everyone admires
that will never die out.

Classical, Rock, Pop
Jazz, Metal, Rap...

The things that bring people together,
to come to appreciate the things that make us the same.

The twitch of the fingers,
The loud beating of the heart.
Everything becomes sharp and focused.
The tingle that shoots through your whole body
The shallow breathes that start to get harder
every second

Starting to feel feint but you must go on.
knowing, waiting
for the moment to be over.
It feels like eternity but
its really been seconds, minutes
maybe even hours
but it feels like forever.

Shaking all over,
Thoughts going a mile minute.
Will it be good enough?
Did you try your best?

or

did you just make a fool of yourself?

You know

We have been together for a long time
But we haven't

You were the only one for me
But I wasn't for you

We may have seen each other every other year
But now we don't

I was a friend, maybe even just a person
But you...

you were so much more for me.

I have always wanted to be part of your life
to be part of your adventures.
To be by your side, every step of the day.
To be loved by you

But

I know that it was a dream
Everyone new
But did you?

I thought you did
but I heard rumours

Still to scared to face you and ask
but I wonder...

To late now though
But maybe someday

Hopefully
but if I face you now

I might just run away
but I know I will not.

For you are my Once Upon a Dream.

My feelings are a big mess
                They are scrambled together and I can't undo them
They will go up

                          and they will go down

They will change like the weather:

Feel love one minute and hate the next
             Sad and then happy
lust and disgust.

Changing and changing
I try to explain but I just end up hurting you
                   which hurts me
                                                             ­      I try to fix them
to get them in order
                and I come to a conclusion



                                                   ­                  maybe I'm just not the one for you.

I could sleep forever
Just dream about things that I wish could come true.
I could fly
I could do magic
I can meet people who I have always wanted to meet.

I can sleep for eternity
I can escape reality
Forever, I can do whatever I want.
Maybe things appear out of thin air
Change things with just one thought.

Don't have to worry about being late,
I can arrive at whenever.

I just have to watch out for nightmares.

Deep breath
Head held up high
walk forward

One step, two step

Shake off the nerves
breath
continue

Three, Four

Look forward
think positive
breath

almost there
just one more to go

five, six... Stop

Deep Breath

And Go

The feeling of excitement,
The rush of adrenaline that courses through your veins.
Makes you want to jump up and run
and just keep on running.

The feeling where you just want to go and not stop,
To stop what you are doing and go discover the world.
To let fate decide what will happen next.

Wanting to live life, and experience as much as you can
before you get to old.
Meet new people and go new places,
to make dreams become reality.

The feeling of adventure,
the feeling that something exciting will happen any moment.
The moment that everyone waits.
The moment were you won't wait anymore.

I'm feeling Upsetti
          Can't eat spaghetti
Cause
           I
             Don't
                       Got
                               Any
:(

The waves of time knock me back,
the salty water of memories make me choke and as a day passes for each moment in this catastrophe;
The struggle to breath lasts a lifetime, the crushing wave shoves me deeper in the darkness,
what once was sweet has turned to salt and as it fills up my lungs, I can no longer scream out for help but drown in the sorrowful ocean of life.
Tangled in the shameful seaweed, they lock me in place, unable to reach that shining surface. It is a struggle to continue, a hard fight that never stops. The darkness that keeps creeping in from the deep, shadowing my whole view as I lose my way around in the vast sea of guilt.

The laughter of rays shine through making the heavy water light and clear. I swim for I am free and look toward the surface and once again breath.

Floating is freeing, the coolness of words cover me; I am free, I am nowhere, I am everywhere, I am no one, I am everyone, I am me.

Gasping for that fresh breath, feeling the hot future shine brightly in sky, the clouds of hope are visible, they shine with the sun and take form into beautiful creatures.

The waves still come, for they are eternal, the current of pain drags me farther away, isolating

But the need for survival pushes me forward.

The hairs on my arm rise,
Shivering everywhere
Teeth clattering
Breath fogs up in the air.

A blanket of cold wraps around,
seeping through the winter jacket all the way to the bones

Feet and hands starting to feel numb
Cheeks and nose are red
Ears are protected from the fluffy hat.

Boots crunching on the ground
Jacket is stiff with the cold
mittens failing at keep the hands warm

everything is cold,
so cold you can't feel a thing

gets harder to move
legs are getting numb,
****** of pain with every step

slowly getting tired
wanting to stop
but knowing that you can't

Cold is everywhere,
Wind starts to pick up
Makes everything worse
closing your eyes hoping that it wont make you colder.

A light in the distance
          but it's far away
                                                                                very far away


Everything is numb now,
The cold is there but now its starting to get taken over by heat
very hot heat
almost painful

Arms are frozen
Legs are burning
Lungs are sore

Wind is getting stronger
but it doesn't matter anymore