By the time you find this.
I will be floating in.
A river stained red.

Do not blame yourself.
For by the time we met.
It was already.

Much.
Too.
Late.

Yours No More,

                        Atlas

the light in people’s eyes
who have dealt with loneliness
glows brighter than others
because they have had to find
conversations within looking
up at the moon

neither here nor there
over seas of despair
woe is me
friend of the sea
lord of mistakes
governor of ache
well versed in pain
oh the nights that have crawled by
you, the moon and the lake of sorrow on my mind
its as if the moon, dropped her marble tears
in my palms
an offering of peace
its true that I, the poets first true love
illuminated the sky longer than mans time
even this earth has no knowledge of the lengths you've gone to
but I do
I've watched you bloom and wither
forgive me for not standing still
when you split in two
for I have worlds to be
and theres more for you

meet yourself tonight
rediscover all the ways you are
perhaps extend all that love to your own
soul
theres beauty in opposites
your beauty lies where there is discomfort
face it

Why would I say such a careless thing
what right do I have to be so reckless
so foolish
to give you something so heavy to hold
something bigger than I could ever be
something I could not hold on my own
to give you this burden
and hope you would see it as a gift

this broken
this ******
this bruised
this used up part of me...

the boy who never speaks
the deathly shy one
always afraid
always trembling inside
the coward that I keep so deeply hidden
no one could know
he is the largest part of me

the quite one
finally has something to say
someone to say it to
the words that always
get stuck in his gut
and never make it up his throat
and out his mouth
set loose upon your ears

and why
what good could these words do
when passed from me to you
would it not be better to keep them
to lock them up
in the chambers of my heart
what could I possibly hope to gain
by giving you something

so broken
so ******
so bruised
so used up

when I know you deserve
more than I can give
better than I can be

is it to push you away
to send you out of my life
to make it easier to pretend
that there is nothing I want to say
nothing that I am
completely desperate to express

is it only to watch you break
what is already broken
bleed what is already ******
bruise what is already bruised
find no use in what
has already been used

so I can quietly walk away
as if I had said nothing at all
felt nothing at all
and go back to my comforts
of quite solitude