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I remember the period
Of rich, suffocating gloom
That I've written of
Millions of times before.
But more than that
I remember when
Flowers bloomed
And I laughed for the first time
In two months.
I wish I could remember
What was so funny
Or with whom I was so content.
But I remember
That the feeling
Inside of me
Was dangerously wonderful.
So I promised
Right then
To never go a day
Without a giggle
Or two
Again.

- p. winter
I visited my girlfriend in the hospital
after her appendicitis operation.
she looked good
and her smile made me smile

"I made a friend," she told me.

There had been another girl in the room with her
and this girl,
she was in the hospital because she sprayed a whole
can of bug repellent into a cup and drank it

"Why?" I asked.

"Oh, well," said my girlfriend. "You wouldn't understand.
Let's just say she wanted to **** the butterflies
in her stomach."

"Okay."
Signage won't matter
Nor the road paint that you lay
Love is not one way
A small fat child,
in a big fat house.
You have nothing left to dream about.
Life was just handed to you.
Now look at you.
You have nothing else,
To look forward to.

The poor are rich,
and the rich are poor.
His laugh is impish,
His smile devilish,
He seems to have a secret
Behind his eyes.

Musicians have the best hands
After all.

It feels good to have
His eyes on me.
It feels good to look up
At him
And catch him
Looking at me.

One sided
Sideways glances
Are lonely.
To steal a moment
Of drinking in
A person’s humanity,
Catch the laugh,
The nervous chatter,
The awkward adjustment
To his bracelet,
And find him looking back at me
Makes me feel
Alive and present again.

His brief sigh
As the customers all fan out around the bar
Before he launches
Into his traditional speech,
And see him looking at me
Without the same fallacy,
The same false
Flamboyance,
Is an exhale
After holding your breath
Underwater for too long.

To see his body in the night,
To not have to worry
About who else is seeing it,
To just let it be
An art piece on display
For whoever he welcomes,
Me included,
Is so worry free
And calming.

His silver hair
Catches the lowlight.
My youthful skin
Only just of drinking age
Glowing in the night,
And I know
I shouldn’t look at him
The way I do,
But he looks like life.
Like vibrant
Life,
And I thirst for it.
I want his liveliness
To flow through my veins.
I want to wear his smile
On my neck,
Between my *******,
Or my legs...

“It makes me so mad,
Because you’re giving into the daddy issues stereotype.”

It makes me so satisfied,
To just exist
Without consequence.
I've been talking in my sleep
Walking
Before I wake
Inbetween my sheets
I shake
Nightmares
Terrorize the peace
Of me I need

To dream
Is to speak
In a world obsolete
From being

I've been talking in my sleep
Tossing and turning
The other cheek
When I get beat
I bruise easily

Sleep walking
In my sleep
I began dreaming
In my dream
Waking up
Shaking sweat
Beads

Now now there
Close your eyes
The night in terror
Is awake
Yet your asleep
Walking around
Me
Staring at the ceiling

I'm only dreaming
About my
Dreams about my feet
Walking around
My sleep
I'm in a night mirror
Looking at me
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