All this dread is setting in,
Anxiety rattling,
Attention gathering.

All it is-is catastrophic,
Running the mile,
Exhaustion,
Fighting pain.
My fault to blame?
Who knows,
Full shame,
I think I’m going insane.

My head Is spinning bout,
Brain so foggy,
Im feeling really groggy.
attention full steam,
All this stuff settling,
Appearing in a whole new setting.

Fear.
Confusion.
I’m losing,
The battle.
Attention?
Please.
I’m fighting,
I don’t need a medal.
Just listen,
To me,
I beg,
PLEASE.
I’m on my knees,
I’m fighting the stinging,
Of wasps and bees.

Plunging my stomach,
Sinking into my brain.
I think I need help.

All this dread,
All this shame,
Putting on the blame,
So many mistakes.

All uprising,
Head to the clouds.
I’m falling down,
No parachute,
And I smack the ground.
Pain radiating,
Like noise in a crowd.

Am I losing my mind,
I need to take my time.
Finding who I am,
Finding ways to take control,
Thoughts.
Clouds.
Pain.
Shame.
Dread.
Hate.
Love.
faith.

Am I enough?
Am I worthy?
Can I be someone great?
Did I make too many mistakes?

I’m HURTING.
my brain,
Is fumbling,
I’m losing a battle.

But I keep on fighting.
I got plans,
And I’m making changes,
I’m making demands.

“Its all attention seeking”
“Your asking for it”
“You act like your the only one in this world”
“How can you be someone great, if you can’t even take care of yourself”

This is what people have said to me.
It’s all setting in.
And I’m NOT going,
To stop fighting.

I fight the nightmares,
Each night.
Sleep comes and goes,
Like a streetlight.

Writing is my true escape,
Once a lightbulb goes off,
I chase these thoughts in my head,
When I can't seem,
to go to bed.

Late nights,
Faint yellow glow,
Of my nightlight,
On my little wooden table.  
Soft Grey pj's,
Seeming to sink,
In my weight.
All these thoughts,
They link,
Making these poems,
Late at night,
I have no fright.

For--
Once I write,
I feel free.
Finally light enough,
To breath.

Finally free enough,
To fly.
Not scared.
Not anxious.
Not sad.
Not mad.
All things let loose.

the faint glow,
Turns dark.
The noise,
Slows.
And sleep comes,
And then it repeats,
As night turns to day,
sleep goes.

Write a poem about a memory you wish you could erase
Describe the moment the world stood still for you
Write from the perspective of a forgotten object
Begin with a lie that becomes the truth
Write a love letter from one season to another
Imagine the ocean is trying to tell you something
Write a poem where time runs backward
Describe a place that only exists in dreams
Write about a silence that says everything
Use only questions to explore a difficult choice
Write a poem that begins with an apology
Write as if the moon is writing to the sun
Describe an emotion as if it were a person
Write a poem about something that never happened
Imagine a conversation between you and your past self
Write about a secret no one would believe
Describe a color without naming it
Write a poem set entirely in a single moment
Start with a knock at the door
Write a poem about forgetting someone on purpose
Describe your shadow’s side of the story
Write from the point of view of a mirror
Tell the story of your life using only metaphors
Write a poem that takes place in total darkness
Describe a relationship using only weather imagery
Write about what grows in the ruins
Use a single sound as the thread through the entire poem
Imagine you could speak to your fear — what would you say?
Write a poem as if it were the last thing you'll ever say
Describe a heartbreak without using the word "heart"
Write about something beautiful that scares you
Tell a story in reverse, ending with the beginning
Write a poem made entirely of overheard conversations
Write a letter to someone who will never read it
Imagine a world where no one can speak — only write
Write a poem set in a city that doesn't exist
Describe a wound that won’t heal — metaphorical or real
Write a poem in the form of a spell
Write from the point of view of your future self
Describe a dream that felt more real than life
Write about a door that never opens
Begin with “I remember the sound…”
Write a poem inspired by your favorite scent
Describe a character who cannot stop walking
Write a poem about an ending that came too late
Write about two things that can never meet
Create a poem using only colors as descriptions
Write about an ordinary object with extraordinary importance
Imagine the stars are speaking to you — what do they say?
Describe a farewell with no words
Write a poem based on an overheard rumor
Write about a place that doesn't want to be found
Begin with “No one told me…”
Write a poem from the perspective of an old photograph
Imagine the wind has a message for you
Describe the last time something felt truly new
Write a poem where each stanza is a different season
Start with “I never told you…”
Write about something lost in translation
Describe what it feels like to wait
Write a poem set in a forgotten town
Write as if you're waking up as someone else
Imagine your reflection has a life of its own
Write about something you’ve never admitted
Start with a color and let it take over
Describe a goodbye that felt like a beginning
Write a poem without using any punctuation
Begin with “If I could rewrite yesterday…”
Describe a place you’ve never been, but feel connected to
Write from the perspective of a book no one reads
Imagine your name had a secret meaning
Describe something that keeps returning
Write about love using only images from nature
Start with the phrase “This was not the plan”
Write a poem in the form of a conversation with an animal
Write a poem about an impossible choice
Describe a dream that someone else had
Write as if you’re writing from the bottom of the ocean
Start with “Before I knew your name…”
Write about a future you’re afraid of
Describe joy without using the word “happy”
Write a poem set in a single room
Create a poem that begins and ends with the same line
Describe a tradition that doesn’t exist
Write a poem about an imaginary friend who never left
Write from the point of view of a forgotten god
Start with “I was not ready…”
Describe what it means to be alone in a crowd
Write a poem about an object passed down through generations
Imagine a world where memories are bought and sold
Write a poem set in a language you don’t understand
Describe the moment you stopped believing in something
Start with “I keep dreaming of…”
Write about something invisible
Describe a journey without leaving your room
Imagine the sky is falling — what falls with it?
Write from the perspective of the last tree on Earth
Create a poem about transformation
Write about the first thing you ever lost
Start with “I buried it because…”
Write a poem where the weather mirrors your thoughts
Describe a world without sound
Write a poem as if time has paused

these people

I can’t see them anymore
I don’t want to see them anymore
I have no desire to see them anymore

I never think about
phoning them or
messaging them or
stopping by to say “hi.”

I don’t care about
what’s happening
in their lives or
who they’re dating
or what memories
we had together

yet they insist, they demand
that I visit them
that I sit down with them
that I talk about nothing important
with them

and I can’t say no

because I know how it feels:

during those times,
when I was down and out
and needed someone
to turn to, to talk to
but there was no one around
I felt the terror & the darkness
constricting my cold and lonely heart
as all the vitality and connection was draining
from my ventricles of ire
like blood from a stone

and so much of that
over a lengthy period of time
has made me a lot stronger,
more independent from people
and maybe even borderline aloof
from all human interaction

I no longer need them
I no longer want them around

but I can’t let anyone
feel that same way
that I felt

so long ago.

pitiful.

I watch her apply creams and lotions to her face through the steamed glass of the shower door before lathering, rinsing off and stepping out.

she greets me at the bathmat with a towel,
then towels me off and flashes me the most
beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. I smile back,
feeling more understood and less misconstrued as she pats and wipes the beads of water away.

it’s moments like these that can make a man
crumble into submission, capturing the quick
glimpses of the joy and the gentle peace from
another beautiful soul when there’s so much
terror, fame & corruption reigning down in
this misbegotten world.

we stand there facing one another

we don’t have to be anybody
we don’t have to be anyplace
we don’t have to worry about anything
we can just simply enjoy each other’s company

looking deep into the eyes
she caresses my beard
she understands me
she takes care of me

& it’s nice to be taken of
especially after a lifetime
of taking care of yourself

I stand there feeling the good times pass
as she dries my ***** with this
lucratively warm towel.