You told me I'd be happier if you and me didn't exist but you forgot you're my happiness

This Christmas,
I want to be truly okay
To finally see light in everyday besides the sun and the stars but the shine of my own
To smile genuinely without care
I want to love and be loved no matter how hard I could be
I want my thoughts to vanish along with the sadness
To soar and fly and feel free
To to have a glimpse of what a magnificent life could be
No concrete wish, just happiness

It would be great

I took it too seriously
you didn't
I gave you my time
you couldn't
I said those three words and meant it
you didn't
I gave you my heart
you couldn't

Silly of me believing in your words
Falling for your actions
Hoping for our future
When all you did was make me cave in and melt
But without planning on staying as my rock

I feel so stupid saying I love you
And even more for feeling so
If you only know how much I do
If you only know how much it hurts to love unrequitedly

Give me back my kisses
I take back my words
Return my hugs
And let me forget about you

Lost souls wonder
Lost people wander
both not knowing what they already have but knowing what they don't
Lost souls pray for a fixed heart, and wonder how they could have a smile that sets everything straight; a life that is being lived, not like not dying
Those lost people on the hand, keep close for warmth wandering streets looking for kind hearts
Begging for comfort in this season

Both looking for ways to be okay
This season maybe, just maybe we could all be of help

I'm just tired

Of what?

of life

Why?

Because I am never the one loved or asked to stay
Never the one needed
Never the one wanted
Never the one who's worth it
Never the one who is enough

Do you know what's worse than hoping you'd miss me?
It's knowing you wouldn't.

Confided with silence
Alone in a world vast and unknown
no one will really understand
Why do I even bother?

Why do I even exist?__

Nobody knows how much she chants to stop and fall asleep

You don't know how hard I fought for you
How I defended you from my best friend saying that I am happy with you and that you are different
How I told my sister that you were worth it, that I liked you
How I told my mom that you were good for me, that you are have grown on me
How I told other people that you are not like what others say; that you were better
How I understood you at your worst
How I was there whenever you need me
How I forgave you because I can't lose you
And how I stayed away from the things that could make you jealous

I'm sorry if something went wrong
If my happy self hid itself for a while and you had to see me at my dimmest light
I'm sorry if I couldn't make you hold on
I'm sorry if you got tired
But I guess if you were genuine no matter what, you still could have– we still could have stood still no matter what

This is the time I won't depend on other people for my happiness.
No more sulking in the darkness of my own self pity.
No more feeling like I am not enough or worth it.
This is the time I'll shine
Possibly brighter than the sun.

My heart is broken–I know,
but it can still love you whole okay?

People want to be loved back.

But you forget that loving someone does not require them to return the same amount of love you have given. Not everyone could have the heart full of love as you do.

You do not say things that are not meant by deeds and by heart. Words are meaningless unless proven otherwise.

You don't turn against people that you love when they have done for you was to help. You shouldn't pretend that you care when you are one of those people who wished them in that state.


most of all, you can never be loved back when you keep on hurting them. When all your words can swoon yet mean nothing.

I gave you my heart
completely and willingly
At that time I did not care
I thought that you can have it break it
by all means, take it
You did not steal this heart
For a while you kept it safe and secure
But more days passed
Weeks, months, years
You did not care as much anymore
dropping the heart on the cold hard ground
Crying, screaming, pain
You did not steal it
*You shattered it and left

Everyday trying to move on
Then remembering you in everything there is
It makes my heart feel like daggers are cutting deeper and deeper
Only, that I don't die and the pain does not end

Oh my old love, how I miss you

It's okay to have doubts
I won't get tired of proving things
But please know I have mine too
There will be times I'll push you away without reason
There will be these circumstances that I'll be scared of everything specially the future
And I'll need to know you'll be there no matter what

It breaks my heart a little, well maybe a lot
Knowing you think we won't last
"Not that I want us not to last"
that phrase.., it devoured my spirit

Why can't I make you think that we could possibly make it till the end?
Can't I make you fight hard enough for us?
Do even believe we're worth it?

Will there really be an Us in the future?
I won't find out until then
But it's difficult not to fuss
Because I know tomorrow is also the future totally unknown

I want to know how you've been
I want to know what you're doing
If you're having fun, if you're happy
I don't know, I just want to know
Like the way I wanted to know you from the beginning
I care the way no one else would for you
I love you more than anyone can else except for your mom
I wanted you
I may seem cold but I don't mean to be
How can I pull you closer every time you push me away when you won't let me
I love you and I think it's best to set you free
You were never really mine
But we both know you once were
And now, I have to hope– just hope that you're happy
Hope that you're safe
And that you haven't forgotten about me

You were the one who told me not to mind what other people say and not to give up.
But you were also the one who listened to them and gave up on me.

They say we are just a bunch of people who eat lunch together,nothing more
And i don't know
Maybe sometimes we are
But then again maybe we aren't