We used to smoke **** together.
Partied with fellow co workers after work.
When it come to making money we never mix it with pleasure.

A good hearted dude.
A family man who took pride in his kids.
He did whatever to make them smile.
I miss my friend Chandler Pugh.

My heart broken in 40oz pieces.
Roll my pain up in sorrow.
Smoking thoughts blowing out memories.
Pondering why tomorrow is such a tease..

R.I.P to my fallen friend.
I pray I see you again.
With my memories of you I'ma rocking out to the end..

My fallen friend.....

I can't wash the smell of you off of my body.
I can't rid your touch from my hair.
The way your tongue wraps around mine,
About everything else... I just don't care.

The feeling of your face won't escape my finger tips.
Your eyes staring into mine...
Some sadness behind them still.
I want to hold you until they shine bright again.

You touch my collar bones.
I hold your hand.
We hardly talk.
We communicate through bands.

I see the images her all around your place.
But I forget it all when you look into my face.
"Let's go to bed."
That's fine with me.
We can pretend we don't cause each other misery.

When you hold me in your lap.
Regardless of who sees.
Is it alcohol or loneliness that fuels this need?

I can't escape your touch.
I can't forget the sound of your breath.
I can't wash away the scent of you.
I can't dismiss your touch.

Do I love you so much?
Or is it all about  a chase.
A love I'll never have...
I guess it has an exotic taste.

Who are these people?
Why aren't you listening to me?
Can you not see...what I can see?
I think that my soul wants to jump out of my body it is vibrating and I am shaking...
I am breaking
I try and sleep and only know these waking
hours...
Do you have the powers around here?
Where are you taking
me???

No, I don't want to be
No, I do not want to die
No, I've never ever actually tried...
yes, I wish I wouldn't cry
these up and down tears of utter panick, agony and distress  
Alright already I confess!
I'm probably just like the rest
I don't know... is this..
a test?
You....
tell ME?

I can't eat
or care for myself...
I feel nauseous
my stomach hurts really bad
yes I am, I am kinda sad
Occasionally I find happy
or laugh at something sappy
man that dog is yappy!
What is HE yelling at?
and why is SHE saying that?
did someone just barely call ME fat?

I don't trust that person over there
she has bugs in her hair
that girl...right there!
....that guy said so!
and HE should know...
and I don't like the way that one looks
at me...
He...
...is creepy... said I'm beautiful
bunch of weirdos and addicted crooks
no I don't want to read a stupid book!
or go to a class?!
For what?

I don't understand why I'm here
I'm afraid I'll never leave
You need to believe
I cannot understand I feel like I'm in Hell
That is not a place I'd ever want to dwell
I know I did NOT sell...
my soul!

Well then, what's your goal while your here?
Tell us what's the greatest fears?
Something whisper in your ears?
What do want your life to look like?
Don't look so worried
It's alright... take all the time you need
we'll feed you in the meantime
I can see...sweetpea...
your clearly confused and you look
like you took awhile to get here
you seem exhausted... so try and get some sleep

Oh..falling into the deep!
Oh I don't know
those picture shows
can be so frightening
the snapping, cracking deadly lightning and strange
gutteral things and horrible loud flapping, rapping blackened wings!
the Raven he came thrice
along with the 3 blinded mice
and other ones were not so nice..
...either

Yes...but still some are still exciting?
Even if still a little frightening?
Like dreams of forgotten or forbidden love
and singing Angel's from up above?
memories of your first sweet kisses
some so nice...and a few near misses
the boy that you sent for
on your hand blown wishes?
How he loved to watch you dance
in his eyes he stared at you entranced
your souls were one so intermingled
touching him it made you tingle...
and you loved how beautifully familiar
he was...
Remember that?

Yes I suppose..that you are right
time to rest here for the night
thank you for this dreaming land
when I wake up...you know...
I've planned
on doing everything better!

Okay, goodnight my darling
close your peeping..
sleeping eyes
No more tears for those to cry
Rest your overwhelming fears
get sweet dreams, my precious dear
I'll see you in the morning

I'm just warning...
No more walking dead
that's the only thing I still dread
I guess enough about that I've said...
Change will be here soon...I know.

Goodnight...
I'll see you in the morning light
when all my hopeful dreams
again...
...take their final ...
               winged flight.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

Open the door into an avenue
Where words are formed
And fall onto the page
Black is the ink
That scars the writing
Facile is the thought
That is sent to offer
Stalled  is the sentence
All is not first in thought
Supercilious is the adjective
That threatens the poems simplicity

I write in the dark
I write in the light
A search for a synthetic twilight